Gidget the Taco Bell dog was, in many ways, the Michael Jackson of the Mexican fast food-endorsing chihuahua world.
The similarities are remarkable. Both were megastars. Both brought joy to an otherwise miserable world. Both combined freakishly large facial features with scrawny little underdeveloped bodies in a way that was a little bit freakish to look at. Both were gender nonspecific. And both are dead.
Gidget the Taco Bell dog died on Tuesday following a massive stroke. We haven’t been this upset since the Hamburgler turned up dead in a Bangkok cupboard with a string wrapped around his willy.
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Now, don’t be intimidated by our extensive knowledge of economics, but we kinda know a lot about it. Like we know that with America’s struggling economy, companies should be careful with their money.
But, Taco Bell threw the gorditas to the wind when they asked rapper 50 Cent to change his name to 79, 89, or 99 Cent to match their value menu. Not only did Taco Bell grossly overestimated the worth of rapper 50 Cent, but they stood to lose as much as 49 cents.
What’s that? 50 Cent not only shot the offer down, but is throwing a hissy-fit about it that puts an 8 year-old girl to shame? Whew! Lucky break, Taco Bell. Lucky break.
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