Now that all the fun ones have been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars, it’s time to start ditching all the anonymous nobodies.

And that means you, Susan Lucci. Susan Lucci was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars last night, either because she got the lowest score of the night or because she’s a daytime soap actress and therefore the only people who know who she is are unemployed and can’t afford to phone in votes for her. It’s definitely one of those reasons, though.

But don’t worry, Susan Lucci fans. Your hero left Dancing With The Stars with her head held high. True, she may have been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars ahead of a foetus from Hannah Montana, but at least Susan Lucci can go knowing that her farewell speech was the most meaningless jumble of bland platitudes ever spoken by any human being ever. That’s something, right?

There’s probably no reason to watch Dancing With The Stars any more, is there? Admit it – time and time again, the only reason to watch the show has been tugged away from underneath you.

First you only watched Dancing With The Stars to see if Kim Kardashian danced as well as she had sex, but then she was eliminated. So then you decided to watch it for the pretty volleyball lady, but she hobbled out shortly afterwards.

After that you tried watching Dancing With The Stars to see if Toni Braxton’s heart would explode during a routine or if the funny old lady’s hip would shear off in the middle of a Cucaracha, but neither of those happened either. And, thanks to gruesome-sounding inflamed internal organs, even the professionals are leaving Dancing With The Stars.

And now even Susan Lucci has been voted out of Dancing With The Stars, which is, um, sad. Probably. Or at least it would be if we knew who Susan Lucci was.

Susan Lucci became the latest celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night after her Paso Doble got the lowest score of the evening, but she wasn’t going down without a fight. Drawing in all the power she’d gained from slogging through years of working on daytime soaps, Susan Lucci grabbed the microphone and blurted out this emotional tangle of pointlessly generic inspiration-talk as a goodbye:

“It was definitely worth it. I just have to say, I have had the most incredible experience here. I leave with a life experience, something I will never forget. I feel so, so much gratitude for the opportunity to have had this particular experience in my lifetime.”

So farewell, Susan Lucci. We hardly knew ye. Actually if we’re honest we didn’t know ye at all. Still don’t, come to think of it. Oh well. At least this whole Dancing With The Stars experience means you can add ‘not as good at dancing as the gay one with the creepy eyebrows from ‘N Sync‘ on your CV now.

See? It hasn’t been a worthless endeavour at all.