Articles tagged with: Susan Boyle
America’s Got Talent: Susan Boyle! OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod!
The final week of auditions showcased people who had auditioned through MySpace. So we settled down to watch, fully expecting the acts to be pimply boys showing off their collection of Dungeons And Dragons figurines, recently divorced women with a pitiful lack of self worth trying desperately to get laid, and 15-year-old girls pulling up their t-shirts to show a bit of their bra. Nope. So what did we get instead? Only Susan bloody Boyle giving an interview to Today Show semi-milf Meredith Viera, that's what.
The final week of auditions showcased people who had auditioned through MySpace. So we settled down to watch, fully expecting the acts to be pimply boys showing off their collection of Dungeons And Dragons figurines, recently divorced women with a pitiful lack of self worth trying desperately to get laid, and 15-year-old girls pulling up their t-shirts to show a bit of their bra. Nope. So what did we get instead? Only Susan bloody Boyle giving an interview to Today Show semi-milf Meredith Viera, that's what.
America’s Got Talent: Was It A Susan Boyle Moment?
Some things haven't changed from the British version of Got Talent. There's the smug judge on the right, the facially inarticulate judge in the middle, and Piers Morgan on the left (still desperately trying to make comprehensible words come out of his slimy, floppy-jawed mouth). And now America's got Talent strikes another BGT-like chord: last night, an aesthetically displeasing lady with terrible hair lumbered onto the stage and sang a song a bit better than you'd thought she would. They're obviously nicking all our ideas. Which is depressing, as it means that fifteen dancing twatpuppets will win the thing.
Some things haven't changed from the British version of Got Talent. There's the smug judge on the right, the facially inarticulate judge in the middle, and Piers Morgan on the left (still desperately trying to make comprehensible words come out of his slimy, floppy-jawed mouth). And now America's got Talent strikes another BGT-like chord: last night, an aesthetically displeasing lady with terrible hair lumbered onto the stage and sang a song a bit better than you'd thought she would. They're obviously nicking all our ideas. Which is depressing, as it means that fifteen dancing twatpuppets will win the thing.
Susan Boyle Set To Bother You On X Factor
We dreamed a dream once. It involved us being dipped in Belgian chocolate and then being placed in the middle of a field full of cows and sheep. Don’t ask us what happened next, but suffice to say we don’t see those animals in the same way we once did. They're not as cuddly and cute as the books make out. Someone else who is all about dreams is Scottish mentalist Susan Boyle. While we don’t really want to know what goes on inside her head, she has sung I Dreamed A Dream a few times. Granted, it’s only been twice but the entire population of the world will have seen it now. Dermot O'Leary wants to pimp her out on X Factor. Hopefully she’ll sing another song. In the style of Slipknot. She probably won't.
We dreamed a dream once. It involved us being dipped in Belgian chocolate and then being placed in the middle of a field full of cows and sheep. Don’t ask us what happened next, but suffice to say we don’t see those animals in the same way we once did. They're not as cuddly and cute as the books make out. Someone else who is all about dreams is Scottish mentalist Susan Boyle. While we don’t really want to know what goes on inside her head, she has sung I Dreamed A Dream a few times. Granted, it’s only been twice but the entire population of the world will have seen it now. Dermot O'Leary wants to pimp her out on X Factor. Hopefully she’ll sing another song. In the style of Slipknot. She probably won't.
Susan Boyle Ordered To Ditch Her Rubbishy Concerts
Do you have tickets for the Britain's Got Talent tour? You do? Then that means you're definitely one of the following. You're either a) really, really fond of street dance, or b) an actual idiot. And since, technically, the former is a subsection of the latter, you're basically an idiot either way. Unless you're going because you're related to that creepy saxophone man, in which case you have our profound sympathies. Or maybe you wanted to see Susan Boyle perform live. Well tough titties - Susan Boyle pulled out of her show in Manchester last night because doctors told her to.
Do you have tickets for the Britain's Got Talent tour? You do? Then that means you're definitely one of the following. You're either a) really, really fond of street dance, or b) an actual idiot. And since, technically, the former is a subsection of the latter, you're basically an idiot either way. Unless you're going because you're related to that creepy saxophone man, in which case you have our profound sympathies. Or maybe you wanted to see Susan Boyle perform live. Well tough titties - Susan Boyle pulled out of her show in Manchester last night because doctors told her to.
David Carradine: Murder Or Masturbation?
Masturbation, quite clearly. But that hasn't stopped his family from putting forward the theory that he was killed. By a Kung Fu gang. Think of the most embarrassing moment of your life. Think of it, relive it, be there right now. Bad, huh? Now fast forward a bit and imagine your 72-year old body being found in a Bangkok hotel room closet, naked but for a shoelace tied around your shrivelled old winky. Puts that bachelor's party into perspective, doesn't it?
Masturbation, quite clearly. But that hasn't stopped his family from putting forward the theory that he was killed. By a Kung Fu gang. Think of the most embarrassing moment of your life. Think of it, relive it, be there right now. Bad, huh? Now fast forward a bit and imagine your 72-year old body being found in a Bangkok hotel room closet, naked but for a shoelace tied around your shrivelled old winky. Puts that bachelor's party into perspective, doesn't it?
Susan Boyle Wants To Take Over The World Now She’s Not Mental
You know Susan Boyle, she’s the frumpy women who looks like a diner lady and bored the tits off everyone during Britain’s Got Talent. Like everyone, we assumed that she would crumble and fizzle on stage due to Simon Cowell’s stare that basically means “you are rubbish and I can’t exploit you for money”. Despite the show being stretched across an eight-week period, Susan Boyle kept on gaining the world’s attention. Famous people like Demi Moore and Barack Obama gave her support and YouTube nearly broke under the strain of people viewing her. However, she didn’t win and ended up going a bit mental. But it’s OK - she's taken some happy medicine and everything is all merry again.
You know Susan Boyle, she’s the frumpy women who looks like a diner lady and bored the tits off everyone during Britain’s Got Talent. Like everyone, we assumed that she would crumble and fizzle on stage due to Simon Cowell’s stare that basically means “you are rubbish and I can’t exploit you for money”. Despite the show being stretched across an eight-week period, Susan Boyle kept on gaining the world’s attention. Famous people like Demi Moore and Barack Obama gave her support and YouTube nearly broke under the strain of people viewing her. However, she didn’t win and ended up going a bit mental. But it’s OK - she's taken some happy medicine and everything is all merry again.
Susan Boyle Leaves Clinic: Let The Harrowing Spectacle Continue!
So, Susan Boyle. Is it television's fault that she ended up in a clinic? The public's fault? The media's? It doesn't matter. The fact is that Susan Boyle - a woman with a particularly evident mental fragility - found the stress of being famous too much to take, and we're all complicit. We need to remember that under all the showbiz glitz are real people with real emotions that need to be respec... WHAT'S THAT? Susan Boyle's out of treatment? BRILLIANT! You sort out her album and punishing promotional schedule and we'll score the heartbreaking front-page tell-all interview! WE'RE ALL RICH AGAIN!
So, Susan Boyle. Is it television's fault that she ended up in a clinic? The public's fault? The media's? It doesn't matter. The fact is that Susan Boyle - a woman with a particularly evident mental fragility - found the stress of being famous too much to take, and we're all complicit. We need to remember that under all the showbiz glitz are real people with real emotions that need to be respec... WHAT'S THAT? Susan Boyle's out of treatment? BRILLIANT! You sort out her album and punishing promotional schedule and we'll score the heartbreaking front-page tell-all interview! WE'RE ALL RICH AGAIN!
Susan Boyle In The Priory: Britain’s Got An Invariably Bleak Ending
Let this be a lesson about the dangers of fame. Or the dangers of Simon Cowell. Or the dangers of singing showtunes with a monobrow. Susan Boyle has entered The Priory to be treated for the special kind of emotional exhaustion that you only develop when the public adores you, then suddenly ditches you for a backflipping toddler with a girl's haircut. It means we'll never again see the Susan Boyle who we first fell for - you know, the heavily-edited Susan Boyle whose voice was deliberately obscured by applause to make her look better than she actually was. Sad.
Let this be a lesson about the dangers of fame. Or the dangers of Simon Cowell. Or the dangers of singing showtunes with a monobrow. Susan Boyle has entered The Priory to be treated for the special kind of emotional exhaustion that you only develop when the public adores you, then suddenly ditches you for a backflipping toddler with a girl's haircut. It means we'll never again see the Susan Boyle who we first fell for - you know, the heavily-edited Susan Boyle whose voice was deliberately obscured by applause to make her look better than she actually was. Sad.
