hecklerspray is massively gay. We’re so queer it hurts. Even the straight ‘spreezies are super ‘mo. You don’t care about that. You want to know whether Kelly Clarkson is a lesbian, for whatever nefarious reasons you have.

So is she?

Well, she doesn’t give the ‘bian ‘bian vibe to us. Not one bit. She couldn’t possibly smell of sex with another woman. Not that this has stopped people speculating that she is. And Kel’ wants to tell us all about it.

So what makes people think Clarkson is a lavenderist? Well, it seems to revolve around two things:

1. She’s single.

2. She’s not thin. Sometimes.

And so, with that, she absolutely must be dining at the hooded buffet, right?

Well, the singer revealed:

“People are really concerned about my relationship status. When I tell people I’m happy being single, they don’t believe me. They say: “You have to be miserable being alone.”

Yes, but when you’re not being happily alone, are you fingering women?

“I’m not gay. If I was, I’d say ‘I love women!’ That’s why it drives me nuts. But I feel like even if I did say it, people would be like: ‘You’re just trying to do that to win the gay audience.’”

Poor Kelly Clarkson. She’ll have to carry on staring at pictures of disgusting male members online ’til this all blows over. Or she releases a decent record. Whatever comes first really.

Cock it is.

Hello. You’ve landed on the hecklerspray Super Bowl 2012 liveblog. Here, you’ll find a limey’s confused view on proceedings, complete with drunken ribaldry, American snack reviews, arrogance, a willful disregard for spelling and enough lame jokes to fill the average American’s cavernous gut. It’ll be great. Abuse and pedantry always welcome.

Remember when Janet Jackson invented the term ‘wardrobe malfunction’ at the Super Bowl? That was good wasn’t it? In the old days, it was just called ‘flashing’ or ‘exposing yourself’, which is clearly what happened, but Janet’s people had to pretend it was an accident.

Well, people are a little nervous of a nipple being shown at the Super Bowl halftime show this year, mainly because no-one in their right mind wants to see Madonna’s rock-hard gym-sculpted banger on view, all sinew and veins.

And mercifully, she’s promised that this won’t be happening.

Madonna says that all efforts have been made to ensure that she won’t be exposing a nork to the biggest television audience in the world.

Lucky really because, it hasn’t escaped our attention that she’s slowly turning into Iggy Pop with each passing year.

“Great attention to detail has been paid to my wardrobe, there will be no wardrobe malfunction – I promise”.

There’s a lot riding on this for Madge and she admits that she’s feeling the pressure of performing at the Super Bowl. And it really is a gigantic audience. Last year’s Super Bowl bagged itself 111 million in the US.

“This is a Midwesterner girls dream to be performing at the Super Bowl half-time show”

“In over 25 years of performing that I’ve done, I have never worked so hard or been so scrupulous or detail-orientated or freaked out.”

And here’s a preview of Madonna’s new video for her new single, ‘Give Me Your Luvin” which features American Footballers and stuff!

Super Bowl Sunday is nearly upon us, leaving 99.9% of the Great British public absolutely nonplussed. The remaining 1% is made entirely of 3 super fans and a host of the curious. Still, that shouldn’t stop us looking at it.

See, the Super Bowl is one of the most peculiar events on the planet. It’s probably the biggest sporting event that is honest enough to let-on that, basically, the game itself is the least important element of it.

And there’s so much else to pick at. The commercials are a big talking point, not to mention the halftime show (this year, featuring Madonna). One of the best things about American events is the need to sing the awful and saccharine National Anthem. With that, we are going to look at some of the worst renditions of the Star Spangled Banner, EVER.

There’s a long, long history of people ballsing up the American national anthem, with some more notable than others. With Kelly Clarkson performing the 2012 Super Bowl anthem, we can only hope she accidentally shouts “BIN LADEN!” or something during the middle of it.

Mainly because we like furore in all forms.

Anyway, let us look at the worst national anthems. We’ve invariably missed your favourite, so you should leave a comment with a link to your most loved car-crash.

Here’s ours.

Michael Bolton

Check out the massive error and resulting gun-fingers! Not to mention the odd delay which makes Michael Bolton sound like he’s singing from inside a robot’s wang. LOVELY!

Steven Tyler

Check out what he changes the last words to. What a gargantuan penis.

BEST NATIONAL ANTHEM BALLS UP EVER

The poor lass singing at what appears to be a Canadian hockey match (so why the USA anthem?) repeatedly forgets the words, goes to get a print-out of them and then falls flat on her backside. Amazing.

Christina Aguilera

Xtina’s famous flub which only works if you know the words to the American anthem.

Marvin Gaye

Hey! You know what the Star Spangled Banner has always been missing? Some cocaine fueled sex vibes!

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne can’t sing. She didn’t let that stop her. Few got the joke.

Carl Lewis

Carl Lewis is one of the most gifted athletes ever. Alas, when it comes to singing, he’s more like Wesley Willis. He chickens out on a big note after making one of the most ghastly noises on the planet, prior.

And finally…

Whitney Houston

Okay. If you want to knock it out of the park, then Whitney back in ’91 gives everyone an absolute masterclass in pomp and circumstance. THIS is how you tart up an anthem!

You may think the Super Bowl is all about a sporting event, but you’re wrong. It’s all about television and, specifically, the adverts that litter the game. American Football is the perfect sport for the advertising exec.

Why?

Well, not only is America filled with vain, greedy sporting superstars who are willing to shill to the highest bidder, but American Football is also filled with stop/start action and, for every stop, there’s a chance for a television advert. To many, the commercials are the whole reason for tuning in. IMAGINE! Anyway, if you can’t be bother with all that sport cluttering up a perfectly good break, here’s the ten best Super Bowl big game commercials.

It’s worth pointing out that, 2012 is a weird Super Bowl year. Away from the game, this year sees most of the big match commercials being put online prior to the game, which kinda takes out the surprise element which made the ads worth tuning in for.

Either way, they’re a talking point again, which will be good news to dead-hearted advertisers, who have all spent gigantic amounts of money for their precious 30 seconds of airtime.

Of course, if you live in the UK, you won’t see any of these because the Super Bowl is shown on the BBC, which doesn’t have commercials, so expect near endless punditry.

Anyway, here’s the ten best commercials.

The Seinfeld One

The One With Curtains Made From Pizza

The One Where A Woman Assaults A Man

The Star Wars One

The Awful Ferris Bueller One

The David Beckham In His Underpants One

The One Where The Bloke Nearly Dies

The One With The Man Who Has A Singing Shoulder

The One With A Vampire Party

The One With A Car Full Of Dogs

Only America could host the idea of having a commercial about a commercial. And that’s exactly what VW have done in the build-up to the Super Bowl, which of course, is more of a marketing showreel than an actual sporting event.

Hell. American Football is barely a sport in itself. Ostensibly, it’s two teams of androids running at each other screaming. What’s not to like?

Anyway, the commercial about a commercial features a squad of dogs all in Star Wars garb and  together, they sing a very familiar tune. Click over the jump to watch it. And no, we’re not getting paid for this.

Last year, we saw VW flogging their Passat with an advert called ‘The Force’ which showed a little Vader trying to use his powers around the house.

The company behind that have come up with another Star Wars themed commercial and George Lucas obvious doesn’t mind coining it in for zero work. So how do you top Mini Vader? DOGS. And VW stuck out a teaser for the upcoming VW Super Bowl commercial.

And Super Bowl ads are not to be sniffed at. This year, companies are paying an average of $3.5 million for 30 seconds of advertising time in the big game (which is on February 5th).

But you don’t care about that.

You want to see a bunch of dogs dressed in Star Wars outfits singing a song don’t you? Keep an eye out for the AT-AT. Absolute show stealer.

Hey! America! You know that song you have that goes “Oh say can you see? By the dawn’s early light! Da-da-dum, dee-dee-dee, the actor called Rocket Redglare’s arse glows!” or whatever it is? Well, once again, it will be sung at a major sporting event where you don’t compete against anyone else in the world!

And who might be fluffing the lyrics to it at Super Bowl XLVI?!

Why, it’s the regrettably nice Kelly Clarkson who is very, very difficult to hate – unless you listen to her music.

Yessir!

Kelly Clarkson will sing ‘The Star-Spangled Bruce Banner’ at the Super Bowl on February 5th at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Of course, this hasn’t been formally announced, but the organisers of the entertainment for the NFL are absolutely hopeless when it comes to keeping secrets.

Seriously. The NFL is one big gossiping old trout, nattering over the garden fence to next door. And next door is a massive loudmouth.

Clarkson will join a whole host of performerers at this year’s Super Bowl including Madonna, who will perform during halftime with guests M.I.A. and Nicki Minaj, and Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton, who will sing “America the Beautiful” as a duet.

Surely the latter should be called ‘America IS Beautiful’. Cuh! Y’all be dropping the letter ‘U’ from a bunch of words next you brutes!

Go Lions!

Well hello there, and good tidings! But let’s just cut the small-talk here before things get all chatty-chatty like what those baby lesbians do off Coronation Street. So, Janet Jackson’s awful.  

Hear that, Great Britain? Here that, Janet Jackson’s official fan club underneath all the wild babble?

Oh, quiet down at the front ? JanFan47?! Cease and desist 1nPHATuation! (Amazing.) PIPE DOWN Janhova_Troll_Slayer! Not our words! No! We’d never flirt with incessant mockery and combine that with the Jackson family, what with all that pain and despair they’ve been harboring these past few years.

No, these are the harsh, cruel, ill-judged vibes of PETA of course. That’s the one. Bitch-eyes from the furries. Tut tut. Ohnoshedidn’t. Holy Things That Matter Entirely, Batman. All that.

After designing a (admittedly quite real-fur specific) fashion label BlackGlama, Janet has been called up for her crimes against all the adorable little swans and herons she’s been murdering grumpily whilst rolling her eyes and muttering about glass ceilings, The Klumps, and cardiologists that dawdle, and been told by the PETA to “GRR STOPIT WE DON’T LIKE HOW FAMOUS AND NASTY YOU ARE.”

Or if you’re hankering for something a tad more specific:

‘When Janet Jackson had her infamous wardrobe malfunction during Super Bowl XXXVIII, at least what popped into view of 170 million onlookers belonged to her, unlike the animal skins she drapes herself in, which are as dead as her fashion taste and her career.’

What, Justin Timberlake’s odium? Oh, right her nipples. Oh, let us off, it’s the end of the year.

Hmm. This doesn’t really make sense at all, really. Does she…win? Is that it? Did Janet Jackson win at PETA?

Oh, well in that case, that’s wonderful! Congratulations Janet. Especially when you must have had stiff competition from our own UK genocide attempts.

 *Sigh*

She might hate hydrangeas, but she sure loves people throwing stupidly shaped balls around! That’s right folks! Madonna is totally going to be the halftime distraction at the next Super Bowl, or Super Bowl XLVI if you can’t count in English.

The Material Girl (we’re forced to use that description by law) will clutter up the pitch with a giant stage on February 5th in Indianapolis, which of course, is famous for a stupid car race, being almost square shaped and having virtually zero sidewalks. Stupid Indianapolis.

But at least they’ll get a massive American Football match and Madonna, eh?

Of course, this could all fall through as Madge has been rumoured to perform in two Super Bowls before (1998 and 2000) but she clearly couldn’t be bothered.

If it does go through, she’ll be joining a number of megastars who have performed on the Super Bowl pitch such as The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Bruce Springsteen and Janet Jackson’s nipple.

Last year, Americans witnessed the Black Eyed Peas prancing around in what was arguably the worst Super Bowl halftime ever.

EVER.

Naturally, Madonna will want to raise some eyebrows during her performances, so we suspect that she’ll take to the stage on a flaming crucifix while dry-humping a black Jesus, climaxing with the effigy of Lady GaGa getting stabbed by a hoard of gay men in PVC nappies.

That would actually be brilliant and don’t you dare pretend otherwise.

The football organization is keeping mum, with NFL spokesdude Greg Aiello (too many vowels in that surname) saying:

“We do not comment on the musical talent for the Super Bowl until we have something to announce”

Amazing words.

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Did you see the Super Bowl yesterday? Oh boy, that sure was some game – the way that one team beat another team?

Amazing. And the Super Bowl half-time show, where half of The Who sang some songs in a fairly nondescript manner? Wowsers, talk about entertainment. And then there were the Super Bowl adverts, like the one for Dockers where nobody wore trousers, and the one where Toyota hilariously apologised for recalling five million cars because they were potentially lethal. Classic Super Bowl.

But the biggest Super Bowl moment probably came with the 15-second commercial for David Letterman‘s show. Why? Because it reunited Letterman with his arch-enemy Jay Leno, which is a big deal if you like that kind of thing.

For the most part, yesterday’s Super Bowl was a crushing disappointment. Usually the big news of the day comes from the half-time show, but that wasn’t the case this year. The protests against The Who’s appearance didn’t turn into a full-scale riot, Pete Townshend didn’t make his guitar look like a willy like Prince did a few years ago and Roger Daltrey didn’t even pop one of his nipples out. It was very disappointing.

And the Super Bowl itself wasn’t much better, on the basis that American football is a sport that people only pretend to like. So that just leaves the commercials. And, luckily, David Letterman had something quite special in store for us. Look…

Look! It’s David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey, who David Letterman was once engaged in a long feud with. And there’s Jay Leno, who David Letterman has been engaged in a feud with for almost 20 years. Together! On a sofa! For 15 seconds! Together!

The advert was a masterstroke for all kinds of reasons, especially because the recent palaver over Conan O’Brien and The Tonight Show gave Leno and Letterman a new excuse to snipe at each other with unbridled ferocity on their shows. And now it would seem that all the bad blood’s in the past.

The three stars come out of the commercial looking better than ever, too. David Letterman looks like a good sport for arranging it, Jay Leno gets to take another step towards public redemption and Oprah Winfrey looks like a comedy genius just by sitting next to Jay Leno – who is, after all, about as funny as herpes.

And the repercussions of the commercial should be great, too. If it works, all three will see a direct ratings boost as a result. And if it doesn’t work, the worst-case scenario is that the world gets a much-needed reminder of what wonderful actors they all are. People forget that Oprah Winfrey was once nominated for an Oscar, or that Jay Leno was once in a buddy action movie with Mr Miyagi, or that David Letterman was once in one episode of Mork And Mindy 31 years ago. The offers should come flooding in now.

But the David Letterman commercial wasn’t the only good thing about yesterday’s Super Bowl. There was also… oh, who are we kidding? Yes it was.

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The Super Bowl has seen some controversial moments in the past. Janet Jackson’s boob. Bruce Springstreen’s groin.

Paula Abdul. That sort of thing. But this Sunday, all of that looks set to be blown out of the water when Pete Townshend from The Who will – get ready for this – play some of his most famous songs in front of several thousand adoring fans. The bastard. Let’s burn him!

Alternatively it’ll be when Pete Townshend plays some of his songs and members of Florida child advocacy group Protect Our Children stand outside with some placards moaning about that time that Pete Townsend was arrested and cleared in a child pornography sting. Still, it’s still better than Jackson’s tit again, we suppose.

The Super Bowl doesn’t thrive on controversy, but it should. Without any fuddy-duddies getting their knickers in a twist over things that aren’t really that important, the Super Bowl is just a slightly tedious display of a sport that nobody fully understands interspersed with wildly expensive adverts for beer and a four-song set by Tom Petty. It’s so controversy-averse that it once even censored the Rolling Stones, even though the scariest thing about them is they way that they now resemble a collection of haunted ballsacks.

But that’s all going to change this year. This year’s Super Bowl is going to be the most controversial ever! It’s already controversial because a gay dating website wasn’t allowed to buy advertising space for it, even though an anti-abortion group was. But that’s nothing because, during the Super Bowl half time show on Sunday, a man who was cleared by police of downloading illegal images of child pornography will play some of his songs. Pete Townshend, you’re a monster.

Don’t these Super Bowl people know what they’re dealing with here? Pete Townshend is a man who once had his computer seized by police officers so they could spend four months forensically determining that he’d never downloaded a single picture of child pornography! Behind Blue Eyes? Behind Boys’ Pants, more like! Pete Townshend must be stopped!

At least that’s what a number of a Florida-based family groups are saying. Not having grasped the ‘cleared’ part of the Pete Townshend child pornography story, they’re planning to protest his appearance outside the Miami Sun Life stadium on Sunday. After all, nobody takes flimsy accusations of paedophilia more seriously than tubby, slightly drunk sports fans. NBC Miami reports:

Come Sunday, Townshend and groups like Protect Our Children will be on opposing sides. Townshend will be on stage inside Sun Life Stadium at the halftime show of Super Bowl XLIV and protesters will be outside denouncing The Who’s performance. A group has already started passing out fliers calling Townshend a threat to Miami’s children.

We’re expecting all of this to culminate in a bloody clash between Pete Townshend and the protesters on Sunday. Or, failing that, a bloodless clash. Or, failing that, we’re expecting the protesters to sort of wave their placards around for a bit, get ignored and then go home before Pete Townshend gets to play that song from the TV show about the ginger policeman in a workmanlike fashion for the billionth time. Watch this space.

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Bruce Springsteen has championed many causes, from how sad AIDS is to the plight of those born in the USA.

And now Springsteen has turned his sights on Ticketmaster. Since he performed at the most-watched Super Bowl ever, Bruce Springsteen has seen a surge of demand for his concert tickets.

Trouble is, Ticketmaster has apparently been redirecting Springsteen fans to a ticket auction site rather than its regular face-value site. And now Bruce Springsteen is mad. See that Bruce Springsteen picture there? He’s twice as mad as that. We didn’t even know that such a level of madness was possible.

Give Bruce Springsteen a cause and the man will run with it. Tell him that some Vietnam veterans have been mistreated, and he’ll write a song about it. Tell him that human rights are being violated across the planet and he’ll play a concert to help stop it. Tell him that a dangerous number of people aren’t watching the recommended daily allowance of fairly crappy internet songs about Halloween and he’ll go and make one of his own to redress the balance.

And now that his Super Bowl performance has seen interest in him peak at a level that he hasn’t seen for over 20 years, Bruce Springsteen has decided that it’s time he became the old Bruce Springsteen again. The man of the people Bruce Springsteen. You know, the Bruce Springsteen that isn’t the muttering old curmudgeon Bruce Springsteen who only records bleak songs about depressing bumsex with prostitutes.

And in his new old role, Bruce Springsteen has decided to take issue with Ticketmaster, because it might be forcing fans to pay over the odds for his concert tickets when they don’t have to or something. Reuters will explain this better:

On Monday, fans trying to make face-value purchases for tickets were instead sent to TicketsNow, “even when other seats remained available at face value,” says a letter posted on BruceSpringsteen.net. “We condemn this practice… We perceive this as a pure conflict of interest. The abuse of our fans and our trust by Ticketmaster has made us as furious as it has made many of you.”

This is great news. Not only does it seem as if Bruce Springsteen fans are being charged more than they should be for liking Bruce Springsteen – let’s call it an idiot tax – but it’s also given Bruce himself some of the old fire in the belly that his most recent work has been missing.

Honestly, this kind of righteous anger against faceless corporations is precisely the sort of thing that Bruce Springsteen’s blue collar fans go nuts for. If he’s wise, Bruce Springsteen will quickly channel this fury into a new album. We know that we’d certainly like to hear songs entitled Hey Ticketmaster (Remove Your Unwanted Material From My Website) and the soon to be fan-favourite I Had To Queue Up For 20 Minutes At Tescos On Friday And That Really Isn’t On (Not For A Shop That Size).

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Maybe you’re not American, in which case you care less about ‘gridiron’ than you do about what kind of tea the sister of Coldplay’s bassist’s girlfriend drinks.

Or perhaps you are American, but one of those weird 600lb ones, in which case you’re unable to produce a molecule of thought which doesn’t just consist of the words “Cookies fries cheese fries cheese fries cheese cookies fries cheese fries cheese fries cheese” in an unending, hypnotic mindchant.

Well you all need to GET interested in gridiron, because each game is now being broadcast with a free porno. Sign us up for ESPN immediately!
American football, like soldiering, is 90% boredom and 10% adrenaline rush. Unlike soldiering, the promise of an upcoming adrenaline bit is the only thing stopping viewers trying to choke themselves on the TV remote in futile suicide attempts during the boredom bits.

The problem up to now has been how to keep those viewers interested in this slow-moving setpiece sport during those long, tedious periods of soul-draining nothingness. Traditionally, the TV stations have been forced to  run lots of ‘amusing’ advertisements to try and stall their viewers from eating their own feet in attempts to relieve the monotony.

Well, no longer. A man who we want to be our new best friend, working at football headquarters, has thought of an even better way to maintain viewers’ attention through prolonged breaks: hardcore porn.

During the final quarter of yesterday’s Super Bowl game, some lucky viewers in Arizona were treated to a 30-second clip from a skinflick. Sadly, we did not witness this brave new world of sportscasting, so let us go to the readers of the Arizona Daily Star to describe the incident:

“Callers said that the clip showed a woman unzipping a man’s pants, followed by a graphic act between the two.”

Oh come on, callers. That’s the best you got? Nobody outside of Arizona saw this thing and, to be honest, we’re all pretty desperate to know exactly what the ‘graphic act’ was. Bumming? A titwank? Axillism? Pfft, forget it, we’ll just use our imagination.

Comcast, the cable company which broadcast this great leap for mankind, tried to pretend that this was something other than an inspired vision of the future:

“It is still unclear how many viewers saw the clip, from a porn movie being shown on Shorteez, an adult cable channel offered by Comcast on a pay-per-view basis. Only Comcast subscribers who received a standard definition signal could see the clip, while those who watched the game on high-definition televisions were not affected.”

Say what? Shame on you, Comcast. This is the first ever union between televised sports and pornography (let it be known as “spornts”) and you deny it to the HI-Def viewers?

[story by Gibbo]

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10 - Gee, Macs are so cool these days…

9 – The world’s funniest customer complaint letter, according to someone who obviously hasn’t seen C J Davies hammer out page after page of relentless fury to BT before – Telegraph

8 – A man in a truck with a duck. Heartwarming, and real – Best Week Ever

7 - All the Super Bowl adverts you could possibly stomach – Adweek

6 - Our very own Matthew Laidlow also writes for Virgin Music now. Get him – Virgin

5 - Are you a pervert? Good, because here’s an interactive game about a girl in a jacuzzi - I Am Bored

4 - Google Ocean coming next week. Think of something less interesting, we dare you – PCPro

3 - How Many 90-Year-Olds Could You Take In A Fight. Our score? 22 – howmany90yearoldscouldyoutakeinafight

2 – Forget all those other stupid lists, here’s the daddy: the 100 greatest TV shows of the last 20 years – BuddyTV

1 - Wikipedia might be about to change, so go crazy while you still can – make as many bullshit changes as possible and post the links below in the comments section. Possibly a small prize for the best one – BBC

The Super Bowl halftime show is always a big draw, not least because there’s a fleeting chance you’ll see partial boob.

And next year’s Super Bowl will be even more special than most, because if you see anyone’s accidentally-exposed barely-covered breast at all, it’ll be Bruce Springsteen‘s. Bruce Springsteen is playing the Super Bowl! Finally! Some good old-fashioned, all-American heartfelt stadium rock is coming to the Super Bowl at last!

At least that’s what the Super Bowl organisers must be hoping. There’s still every chance that Bruce Springsteen will want to play some of his newer songs at the Super Bowl, in which case 148 million Americans are in for six minutes of an old man mumbling about putting his penis up an old prostitute’s bum. Either way – woo.

Playing the Super Bowl halftime show is the most impressive way to let the world that you’ve made it. Actually, that’s a lie. Playing the Super Bowl halftime show is the most impressive way to tell the world that you made it a couple of decades ago, then took a few unfortunate career choices and lost your appeal but have since decided to put out a Greatest Hits album reminding people of your glory days.

Which, we think, sums Bruce Spingsteen up perfectly. It must do, because he’s playing next year’s Super Bowl halftime show, as E! Online reports:

New Jersey is going to the Super Bowl. The Garden State’s own Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band has been announced as the entertainment during the Super Bowl XLIII Halftime at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa. The big game will air Feb. 1 on NBC.

Bruce Springsteen playing the Super Bowl is bound to be an improvement on some of the more recent halftime acts, like the perfunctory set that Tom Petty spunked out this year, or the Tim Burton stop-motion animation that passes for a Rolling Stones live appearance these days.

That’s so long as Bruce Springsteen sticks to the plan and plays Born To Run, Born In The USA, Dancing In The Dark and nothing else. He might not, though – give him a chance and Bruce Springsteen might do the one about taking a whore up the arse and the one about how AIDS makes him sad and the second half of the match will be played out in silent introverted despondency. Which actually, we’re secretly hoping he does.

Still, Bruce Springsteen isn’t an idiot – he knows what a Super Bowl halftime show requires. A couple of the hits, a bit of a punchy song and dance and then go off and get upstaged by Kevin Federline. Any idiot could do it.

OK, any idiot except for Janet Jackson…