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Summer’s Hottest Bachelors

Robert Pattinson, Chace Crawford, People Magazine, Summer's Hottest BachelorsYou read that right. People magazine hates Robert Pattinson. It thinks he’s a stinky old bellend with a twonky haircut.

How do we know? Because People magazine has published its Summer’s Hottest Bachelor list and – you should sit down for this – Robert Pattinson didn’t win. No, instead the top title was snatched by Chace Crawford from some show named Gossip Girl which we don’t watch because it’s not about sparkly teenage vampires trying to kiss horse-faced schoolgirls to a soundtrack of legitimately bad music.

Honestly, this is the most upset we’ve ever been at an arbitrarily-chosen space-filling magazine list. Ever.

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