Suge Knight isn’t a man to mess around with. Everything about him is intimidating. His size. His reputation.
The look in his eyes. The fact that he’s modelled his facial hair on Uncle Albert from Only Fools And Horses just so that he can beat you up if you laugh at it. Yep, Suge Knight is fearsome. And stupid. Because if he wasn’t fearsome and stupid, then Suge Knight wouldn’t have been arrested for allegedly pointing a gun at an unidentified man yesterday, in public and in front of witnesses, before driving away on his suspended license.
But why did it even happen? Was there a vendetta against the victim? Did he do it to keep his end up because the police hadn’t noticed him for a couple of weeks? Or was it just because Suge Knight is a big fat idiot? That’s really not for us to say. Read More >>>
Thanks to the outrage over Chris Brown’s arrest, woman-beaters are now thinking twice about hitting girls.
So they’re hitting Suge Knight instead. Or at least that’s what it looks like. Because, you see, less than a fortnight after Brown’s alleged attack on Rihanna, Suge Knight has been hospitalised after receiving facial injuries in a fight as well. Coincidence? Hardly.
Something that most people have been expecting for years on account of Suge Knight constantly coming across like the world’s most monumentally awful bellend? Actually, that’s probably a little bit closer to the truth, yeah.
Read More >>>
Given that he’s everywhere all the time at the moment, we’re starting to think that Suge Knight is the gangsta Miley Cyrus.
Not completely – the day that photos of Suge Knight rolling around in his knickers are leaked to the internet is the day we cut out our eyes and, to our knowledge, Miley Cyrus has never driven around in a car allegedly punching a woman in the head – but in terms of ubiquity, the comparison just about holds up. Just about.
In fact, it’s this whole ‘allegedly punching women in the head while driving a car’ thing that’s brought Suge Knight to our attention again this time. Because now Suge Knight has been charged for the last time he supposedly beat up a women in a car. And since this time the charges also include a spot of beating up a woman in a car park with a knife in his hand, Suge Knight faces eight and a half years in jail. Oh well.
Read More >>>
Suge Knight may have allegedly hung Vanilla Ice by his ankles off a 20-storey building once, but don’t ever mess with his earrings.
Because, seriously, if Suge Knight ever comes round your house and suddenly loses one of his earrings, you’re very possibly going to get sued. Of course, it’ll help if the loss of the earring is directly preceded by an armed stranger bursting into your house and shooting Suge Knight in the leg, but mainly it’s about the earring thing.
So you wouldn’t want to be Kanye West, because he’s the man who Suge Knight is suing for the earring loss and the shooting. And Suge Knight means business, too – once he’s done suing Kanye West he’s going to punch Busta Rhymes in the face for losing one of his anklets and then twist one of Diddy‘s nipples as hard as he can until Diddy promises give back his missing cockring.
Read More >>>
Suge Knight, the hip-hop Uncle Albert, is a fairly intimidating man – he’s like a great big bear with an exceptionally unflattering beard.
Make that a great big bear with an exceptionally unflattering beard and a nasty habit of driving round Las Vegas punching women in the head and threatening them with knives until he gets arrested. Or punching one woman in the head and threatening her with a knife, at least. And that woman’s his girlfriend. Allegedly.
Suge Knight has been arrested on charges of assault with a deadly weapon and domestic violence. Oh, and possession of a controlled substance too, because he allegedly had Ecstasy and hydrocodone on him when he was busted. Like we’ve always said, there ain’t no violent knifey drug party like a Suge Knight violent knifey drug party.
Read More >>>
