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Bon Jovi Fan Sues, Surprisingly Not For Boredom
By hecklerspray staff on Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 5:00pm | 16 Comments
Bon Jovi Fan Sues, Surprisingly Not For Boredom

A Bon Jovi fan has launched a $14 million (£7 million) compensation claim after he was paralysed at a gig in Edmonton, Canada.


Initial rumours suggest that Dennis Schulz suffered a dislocated spinal cord when he was crushed by an overpowering force of mediocrity that had been building like a whirlwind, reaching its destructive crescendo somewhere between the second chorus of Bad Medicine and the opening chord of Always. Schulz reached a level of boredom that scientists refer to as ‘The David Gray Effect’, where mind and body becomes so aware of the dullness of the immediate moment that the spine gives up on you, and tries to flee the body.

Dennis Quaid Vs The Giant Drug Company
By Stuart Heritage on Wednesday, December 5, 2007 at 1:00pm | No Comment
Dennis Quaid Vs The Giant Drug Company

Dennis Quaid's newborn baby twins are lucky to be alive - it wasn't so long ago that they were being injected with doses of blood-thinner 1,000 times larger than normal.

But although his new son and daughter survived the giant Heparin overdose - and are thought to be recovering well - Dennis Quaid is still thirsty for revenge. That's why Dennis Quaid and his wife Kimberly Buffington are suing Baxter Healthcare Corp, which manufactures Heparin, for £50,000 in a product liability lawsuit. It shows just how angry Dennis Quaid must be to pursue Baxter through legal paths, because in the past he's resolved any outstanding medical difficulties by shrinking himself down to a sub-atomic level and injecting himself up Martin Short's arse.

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