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	<title>Hecklerspray &#187; Sues</title>
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	<description>Celebrity gossip, movie news, TV news, online games and cool videos - Hecklerspray</description>
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		<title>Suge Knight Takes Final Punt At Relevancy By Suing Kanye West</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/suge-knight-takes-final-punt-at-relevancy-by-suing-kanye-west/200817229.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/suge-knight-takes-final-punt-at-relevancy-by-suing-kanye-west/200817229.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Nov 2008 18:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrity lawsuit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Earring]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kanye West]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shooting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suge Knight]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hecklerspray.com/?p=17229</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Suge Knight may have allegedly hung Vanilla Ice by his ankles off a 20-storey building once, but don't ever mess with his earrings.

Because, seriously, if Suge Knight ever comes round your house and suddenly loses one of his earrings, you're very possibly going to get sued. Of course, it'll help if the loss of the earring is directly preceded by an armed stranger bursting into your house and shooting Suge Knight in the leg, but mainly it's about the earring thing.

So you wouldn't want to be Kanye West, because he's the man who Suge Knight is suing for the earring loss and the shooting. And Suge Knight means business, too - once he's done suing Kanye West he's going to punch Busta Rhymes in the face for losing one of his anklets and then twist one of Diddy's nipples as hard as he can until Diddy promises give back his missing cockring.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/293knightmugshot082708-276x300.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-17230" title="Suge Knight Sues Kanye West Earring Shooting Lawsuit" src="http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/293knightmugshot082708-276x300.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="164" /></a><strong>Suge Knight may have allegedly hung Vanilla Ice by his ankles off a 20-storey building once, but don&#8217;t ever mess with his earrings.</strong></p>
<p>Because, seriously, if Suge Knight ever comes round your house and suddenly loses one of his earrings, you&#8217;re very possibly going to get sued. Of course, it&#8217;ll help if the loss of the earring is directly preceded by an armed stranger bursting into your house and shooting Suge Knight in the leg, but mainly it&#8217;s about the earring thing.</p>
<p>So you wouldn&#8217;t want to be <strong>Kanye West</strong>, because he&#8217;s the man who Suge Knight is suing for the earring loss and the shooting. And Suge Knight means business, too &#8211; once he&#8217;s done suing Kanye West he&#8217;s going to punch <strong>Busta Rhymes</strong> in the face for losing one of his anklets and then twist one of <strong>Diddy</strong>&#8217;s nipples as hard as he can until Diddy promises give back his missing cockring.</p>
<p><span id="more-17229"></span>There was a time when Suge Knight ruled the world of hip-hop. Not any more, though &#8211; thanks to a variety of prison sentences and dubious business moves, Suge Knight has fallen in status to the point where he&#8217;s more or less just the fat man who looks funny when he runs for the bus.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s not to say that Suge is going to slip away into peaceful anonymity just yet, though &#8211; whenever his profile dips beyond a certain point he&#8217;ll bound back into the limelight by <a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/obese-suge-knight-loses-his-record-label/20063884.php">losing his record label</a> or allegedly driving around in his car with his pockets stuffed with Ecstasy, alternately <a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/obese-suge-knight-loses-his-record-label/20063884.php">punching his girlfriend in the head</a> and threatening her with a knife. Which, ironically, is similar to how Jesus plans to make his comeback, too.</p>
<p>And now Suge Knight has decided to make sure that everyone remembers him by suing Kanye West because, at a party hosted by Kanye West three years ago, <a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/suge-knight-shot-by-accident/20051116.php">Suge Knight got shot in the leg</a> and lost one of his earrings. It&#8217;s a smart move, because it means that everyone will remember him &#8211; specifically what a lumbering, money-chasing slapheaded Uncle Albert berk he&#8217;s always been. The <em>LA Times</em> reports:</p>
<blockquote><p>According to the lawsuit, Knight claims needed recompense from West for medical bills, transport and &#8220;damages for the loss of use and enjoyment&#8221; of a 15-carat diamond stud earring as a result of the attack. (The lawsuit also claims that the aforementioned earring is valued at $135,000.)</p></blockquote>
<p>Read that again. $135,000 for an earring. That&#8217;s absurd. Think of all the other things that Suge Knight could have done with that money, like reinforcing all of his chairs with concrete or buying enough snacks to last him for about 45 minutes. And he spent it on <em>an earring</em>. No wonder people want to shoot him.</p>
<p>Kanye West has yet to comment on the lawsuit &#8211; possibly because he&#8217;s still stunned that he&#8217;s being sued because a man lost his earring in a shooting that took place in a room he happened to be hiring three years ago &#8211; but we&#8217;re sure he&#8217;s not phased by this. After all, Kanye West is a successful man, so he must be used to getting sued like this.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s just a shame that this has gone directly to litigation, because we&#8217;d rather have seen Suge Knight and Kanye West settle this like real men &#8211; in a boxing ring. True, Suge Knight might be roughly the size and weight of a bear, but there&#8217;s no competing against the <a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/video-kanye-wests-airport-rampage/200816088.php">fierce combat skills</a> that Kanye West has. It&#8217;d be a bloodbath.</p>
<p><strong>You! <a href="http://twitter.com/hecklerspray" target="_blank">Follow hecklerspray on Twitter</a>!</strong></p>
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		<title>Spitzer&#8217;s Whore Sues Girls Gone Wild For All Sorts Of Cash</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/spitzers-whore-sues-girls-gone-wild-for-all-sorts-of-cash/200813893.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/spitzers-whore-sues-girls-gone-wild-for-all-sorts-of-cash/200813893.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Apr 2008 17:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ashley Dupre]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Girls Gone Wild]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joe Francis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prostitute]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spitzer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[whore]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hecklerspray.com/?p=13893</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We've got nothing but sympathy for Ashley Dupre - after all, who hasn't performed sexual acts on a high-ranking politician for cash these days?

And if a scandal about you being a massive whore with a slightly gross-looking New York governor isn't bad enough, the inevitable follow-up story about the way you took your clothes off for a teen-exploiting series ofsoftcore videos is just utterly degrading.

That's why we're fully behind Ashley Alexandra's decision to sue Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for $10 million because he quickly released a 2003 video of her flashing her breasts in the wake of the scandal as a money-making enterprise. She's completely correct - if she didn't chase Joe Francis for cash, then what kind of filthy prostitute would AshleyDupre be? A shit one, that's what. ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/ashley_alexandra_dupre2_180.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-13894" title="Ashley Dupre Girls Gone Wild sues $10 million Joe Francis Spitzer prostitute whore" src="http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/ashley_alexandra_dupre2_180.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><strong>We&#8217;ve got nothing but sympathy for   Ashley Dupre &#8211; after all, who hasn&#8217;t performed sexual acts on a high-ranking politician for cash these days?</strong></p>
<p>And if a scandal about you being a massive whore with a slightly gross-looking New York governor isn&#8217;t bad enough, the inevitable follow-up story about the way you took your clothes off for a teen-exploiting series of softcore videos is just utterly degrading.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s why we&#8217;re fully behind Ashley Alexandra&#8217;s decision to sue<em> Girls Gone Wild</em> founder <strong>Joe Francis</strong> for $10 million because he quickly released a 2003 video of her flashing her breasts in the wake of the scandal as a money-making enterprise. She&#8217;s completely correct &#8211; if she didn&#8217;t chase Joe Francis for cash, then what kind of filthy prostitute would Ashley Dupre be? A shit one, that&#8217;s what.</p>
<p><span id="more-13893"></span><em>Britain&#8217;s Got Talent, American Idol</em>, that rubbishy <strong>Graham Norton</strong> thing about <em>Oliver Twist</em> &#8211; all those contestants are deluding themselves. All they want is fame, and they&#8217;re going about it the wrong way. Statistically, the chances of you winning <em>X Factor</em> are minuscule &#8211; you stand a much better chance of becoming famous if you fuck a politician for cash, everyone knows that.</p>
<p>Ashley Dupre knows that, anyway. Every since she was uncovered as the prostitute at the centre of the <strong>Eliot Spitzer</strong> scandal, she&#8217;s been everywhere. Her face has been in newspapers constantly, the songs on her MySpace page have been thoroughly analysed &#8211; play them backwards and we&#8217;re told you hear <em>&#8220;$500 for straight sex,  or $1,000 to put it up my bumhole&#8221;</em> &#8211; she&#8217;s been approached to appear in porn magazines and even <a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/donald-trump-wants-non-prostitutish-business-relationship-with-prostitute/200813298.php">Donald Trump&#8217;s got his eye on her</a>.</p>
<p>So if Ashley Dupre plays her cards right, she might become the most successful prostitute since those women who Jack The Ripper stabbed to death. Especially if that $10 million lawsuit against <em>Girls Gone Wild</em> founder Joe Francis comes off.</p>
<p>You see, back in 2003, Ashley Dupre was filmed by Girls Gone Wild dancing around and flashing her breasts a lot. Nothing wrong with that, you might think &#8211; even sleazy overlords of morally-suspect softcore porn empires have to put dinner on their tables &#8211; but now Ashley Dupre says that she was filmed when she was just 17. And everyone knows that 17-year-olds don&#8217;t know anything about contracts. Especially, as the <em>New York Post</em> reports, when they&#8217;re blasted off their minds on booze:</p>
<blockquote><p>Ashley Alexandra Dupre filed a lawsuit Monday in Miami federal court claiming she never gave &#8220;Girls Gone Wild&#8221; founder Joe Francis permission to use her name and likeness to advertise the videos. Dupre contends she was 17 and not old enough to sign a contract when the videos were taken in 2003 in Miami Beach. People.com said the lawsuit is for $10 million, and alleges that reps from the nudey video empire plied her with alcohol before getting to flash her breasts when she was only 17.</p></blockquote>
<p>$10 million dollars is a vast amount of money for anyone, and our calculations suggest that Ashley Dupree would have to keep a man&#8217;s penis in her mouth for 2,500 hours &#8211; about three and a half months &#8211; without rest to earn that kind of cash normally.</p>
<p>But who knows what the outcome of this lawsuit will be. Maybe Ashley Dupre will win, maybe the judge will rule in favour of <em>Girls Gone Wild</em> and maybe, just maybe, we&#8217;ll get to write an article about something other than underage nudity sometime soon. That way it wouldn&#8217;t take as long to scrub the shame from our skin at the end of the day. Some days we think we&#8217;ll never get clean.</p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.nypost.com/seven/04282008/news/regionalnews/ashley_dupre_sues_girls_gone_wild_over_p_108553.htm" target="_blank">ASHLEY DUPRE SUES &#8216;GIRLS GONE WILD&#8217; OVER PICTURES &#8211; <em>NYP</em></a></p>
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		<title>Rob Lowe Hates All His Servants</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/rob-lowe-hates-all-his-servants/200813465.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/rob-lowe-hates-all-his-servants/200813465.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nannies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rob Lowe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[servants]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hecklerspray.com/?p=13465</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Rob Lowe will do just about anything to make people forget that he used to be an alcoholic who'd film himself shagging young girls.

So far these efforts have included an advert for the California tourist board and the TV show Brothers And Sisters, but neither worked - because a) he's not really very recognisable these days and b) it's Brothers And Sisters, for God's sake. Who'd watch that?

So instead Rob Lowe has tried a different tactic - he's suing all of his employees. And rightly so, because we know we'd rather go down in history as the man who sued people for having sex on our bed, finding us attractive and swearing than for being the bloke from Brothers And Sisters.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2008/04/lowe_rob.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-13466" src="../wp-content/uploads/2008/04/lowe_rob.jpg" title="Rob Lowe Sues Nannies servants " width="151" height="153" /></a><strong>Rob Lowe will do just about anything to make people forget that he used to be an alcoholic who&#39;d film himself shagging young girls.</strong></p>
<p>So far these efforts have included an advert for the California tourist board and the TV show <em>Brothers And Sisters</em>, but neither worked &#8211; because <strong>a)</strong> he&#39;s not really very recognisable these days and <strong>b)</strong> it&#39;s<em> Brothers And Sisters</em>, for God&#39;s sake. Who&#39;d watch that?</p>
<p>So instead Rob Lowe has tried a different tactic &#8211; he&#39;s suing all of his employees. And rightly so, because we know we&#39;d rather go down in history as the man who sued people for having sex on our bed, finding us attractive and swearing at them for being the bloke from <em>Brothers And Sisters</em>.</p>
<p><span id="more-13465"></span> Rob Lowe&#39;s decision-making process has long fascinated us, mostly because it&#39;s so flipping demented. Here&#39;s a man who, moments before having sex with an underage girl, thought <em>&quot;hold on, I&#39;d better film this,&quot;</em> a man who agreed to sing a toe-curling duet with <strong>Snow White</strong> at the Oscars, a man who &#8211; and this is just sick &#8211; is in <em>Brother And Sisters.</em></p>
<p>However, it gets worse. Rob Lowe has got in a strop about two of his former nannies and an ex-chef. Fair enough &#8211; sometimes staff can be genuinely difficult, like when <a href="../de-niros-maid-admits-nicking-loads-of-stuff/20062204.php">Robert De Niro&#39;s maid stole all his stuff</a>  &#8211; but that doesn&#39;t seem to be the case with Rob Lowe. Instead, Rob Lowe is suing them for a million dollars for all kind of reasons &#8211; vaguely involving extortion of some kind &#8211; with the main focus being on one former nanny in particular. <em>People</em> reports:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>&quot;In a 26-page complaint against the longtime former nanny, Lowe&#39;s lawyers say the woman claimed to have &#39;a personal and intimate relationship (with Lowe), and, in effect, accusing Rob Lowe of infidelity&#39;. On at least one occasion, the nanny &#39;bragged&#39; about giving Lowe a massage during a trip with the Lowe family, according to court papers. (The couple claims it never happened.) The woman also allegedly claimed that Lowe sexually harassed her and that Sheryl Lowe was an &#39;overly demanding&#39; and &#39;abusive&#39; employer, who made &#39;inappropriate comments of a sexual and racial nature&#39; to her.&quot;</p>
</blockquote>
<p>A million dollars for &#39;lying&#39; about a massage? That&#39;s pretty heavy-going. However, if the claims are true then it sounds as if a million dollars is a fair price &#8211; because we&#39;d imagine you&#39;d have to crack on to Rob Lowe pretty heavily for him to stop rubbing oil into his own nipples while staring at himself in a mirror and winking long enough to actually notice you.</p>
<p>As for the other ex-nanny and the ex-chef, Rob Lowe alleges that one had sex on his bed, stole medicine from his bathroom and broke some security cameras, while the other one swore a bit sometimes.</p>
<p>Actually, whether or not Rob Lowe has a valid case against any of these people here isn&#39;t the most important question. The most important question is what a two-bit TV actor like Rob Lowe needs all these servants for. He&#39;s not exactly A-list, is he?</p>
<p>On the other hand, maybe Rob Lowe does need some extra help around the house. Those dishes aren&#39;t going to wash themselves, are they? Not while he spends all day pouting into the back of a spoon and imagining how great it&#39;d be to kiss himself.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Which is how we imagine Rob Lowe spends all his free time.</p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20189708,00.html" target="_blank">Rob Lowe Sues Former Nanny, Claims She Had a Crush on Him &#8211; <em>People&nbsp;</em></a></p>
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		<title>Woody Allen Sues The Spandex Off American Apparel</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/woody-allen-sues-the-nipples-off-american-apparel/200813310.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/woody-allen-sues-the-nipples-off-american-apparel/200813310.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:30:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advert]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American Apparel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[billboards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrity lawsuit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[image]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Woody Allen]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.hecklerspray.com/woody-allen-sues-the-nipples-off-american-apparel/200813310.php</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Woody Allen hasn't endorsed any product since the Acme Adopted Stepdaughter That You're Allowed To Sleep With in 1992.

But you wouldn't know it to drive around America gawking out of your car window instead of concentrating on the road ahead of you. Because if you've been doing that, the moments directly before your gruesome death were probably spent looking at billboards of Woody Allen appearing to endorse American Apparel.

However, Woody Allen hasn't been endorsing American Apparel at all, which is why he's launched a $10 million lawsuit against the company. And he has every right to, because the billboards don't accurately representing him as an artist. No, they'd need to be 500% shitter and have Ewan McGregor in them to do that.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2008/04/anniehoofd.jpg" title="Woody Allen American Apparel Sues lawsuit advert billboards image"><img src="../wp-content/uploads/2008/04/anniehoofd.jpg" alt="Woody Allen American Apparel Sues lawsuit advert billboards image" width="155" height="146" /></a><strong>Woody Allen hasn&#39;t endorsed any product since the Acme Adopted Stepdaughter That You&#39;re Allowed To Sleep With in 1992.</strong></p>
<p>But you wouldn&#39;t know it to drive around America gawking out of your car window instead of concentrating on the road ahead of you. Because if you&#39;ve been doing that, the moments directly before your gruesome death were probably spent looking at billboards of Woody Allen appearing to endorse American Apparel.</p>
<p>However, Woody Allen hasn&#39;t been endorsing American Apparel at all, which is why he&#39;s launched a $10 million lawsuit against the company. And he has every right to, because the billboards don&#39;t accurately representing him as an artist. No, they&#39;d need to be 500% shitter and have<strong> Ewan McGregor</strong> in them to do that.</p>
<p><span id="more-13310"></span> It&#39;s a marvel that Woody Allen&#39;s image hasn&#39;t been used in adverts for clothing before. After all, nothing sells threads to the cool kids like perpetually dour 72-year-old Jewish men who marry girls they&#39;ve <a href="../woody-allen-lucky-mia-found-those-naked-pictures-of-soon-yi/20051488.php">raised as their own daughter since the age of eight</a>. Nothing.
</p>
<p>So it was only a matter of time before some clever young hotshot decided that the best marketing strategy around involved dressing Woody Allen up in a fake beard, making him look even more Jewish than he already is and plastering him all over billboards in New York and Los Angeles.</p>
<p>And the company that hotshot worked for was American Apparel &#8211; you know, the company that puts scantily-clad adverts featuring androgynous models onto websites in the hope that people will <strong>a)</strong> think that it&#39;s porn, <strong>b) </strong>click the advert to be taken to the porn site, <strong>c)</strong> not be instantly angered when they find out that the website sells T-shirts and not porn and <strong>d)</strong> be so impressed by the produce that they end up buying some spandex one-pieces. You know American Apparel, right?</p>
<p>Well, long story short, American Apparel didn&#39;t bother asking Woody Allen if it could use his image on the billboard adverts and now Woody Allen is summoning up all the fury his puny under-developed body can muster to sue American Apparel back where it came from. <em>Reuters</em> reports:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Woody Allen on Monday sued American Apparel Inc, claiming the U.S. clothing company used his image in advertising on billboards and the Internet without his consent&#8230; Allen, an Oscar-winning U.S. director known for his work in films such as &quot;Annie Hall&quot; and &quot;Crimes and Misdemeanors,&quot; said in the suit he was neither contacted by the company, nor compensated for the use of his image. &quot;Allen does not engage in the commercial endorsement of products or services in the United States,&quot; according to the lawsuit.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>It seems as if American Apparel hadn&#39;t thought to compensate Woody Allen at all for using his image in the billboard adverts. That was a big mistake for the company to make, because Woody Allen needs all the money he can get. God knows it&#39;s hard enough for him to finance his movies in his own country as it is. Perhaps the American Apparel lawsuit money will be enough for him to go back to New York and stop fouling up London all the time. If that&#39;s the case, we can only pray that he wins.</p>
<p>And maybe Woody Allen can even find inspiration in this lawsuit. It does have all the ingredients of a good movie after all, so all Woody Allen needs to do is remove all of those ingredients, replace them with several self-indulgent scenes of <strong>Scarlett Johansson</strong> looking off into the middle-distance, change the story completely until it&#39;s rubbish, dull, vastly unpopular, not as deep or as clever as it thinks it is and a waste of everyone&#39;s money and &#8211; bingo &#8211; there&#39;s his new movie.</p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/peopleNews/idUSN3143294520080401" target="_blank">Woody Allen sues American Apparel over ads &#8211; <em>Reuters&nbsp;</em></a></p>
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		<title>Look Out! Quincy&#8217;s On The Warpath!</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/look-out-quincys-on-the-warpath/200813295.php</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jack Klugman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NBC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Quincy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Judging by the amount of time it's on the telly over here, Quincy could probably buy himself a bejewelled sex unicorn with repeat royalties from his show.

Trouble is, though, Quincy says he can't even afford a bejewelled sex gerbil, which he's why he's suing NBC.

Hard-bitten, authority-disrespecting, super-sleuthing coroner Quincy - who was the star of a hard-hitting documentary series for seven years - claims that NBC has been gypping him out of money. Money that he wants. However, Quincy is now 85 years old and might not be thinking straight, because he's also claiming that Quincy wasn't a documentary and that his real name is Jack Klugman. Quincy's name isn't Jack Klugman! Quincy's name is Quincy! Quincy!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2008/03/quincy.jpg" title="Quincy Sues NBC Jack Klugman"><img src="../wp-content/uploads/2008/03/quincy.jpg" alt="Quincy Sues NBC Jack Klugman" width="150" height="150" /></a><strong>Judging by the amount of time it&#39;s on the telly over here, Quincy could probably buy himself a bejewelled sex unicorn with repeat royalties from his show.</strong></p>
<p>Trouble is, though, Quincy says he can&#39;t even afford a bejewelled sex gerbil, which he&#39;s why he&#39;s suing NBC.</p>
<p>Hard-bitten, authority-disrespecting, super-sleuthing coroner Quincy &#8211; who was the star of a hard-hitting documentary series for seven years &#8211; claims that NBC has been gypping him out of money. Money that he wants. However, Quincy is now 85 years old and might not be thinking straight, because he&#39;s also claiming that <em>Quincy</em> wasn&#39;t a documentary and that his real name is <strong>Jack Klugman</strong>. Quincy&#39;s name isn&#39;t Jack Klugman! Quincy&#39;s name is Quincy! <em>Quincy!</em></p>
<p><span id="more-13295"></span> Back in the late 1970s and early 1980s, the world of forensic medical examining was boring. People would die by accident and they&#39;d be buried in the ground within an hour. Then came Quincy, who revolutionised the profession forever on three fronts.</p>
<p>Instead of blithely accepting deaths as accidental, Quincy routinely <strong>a)</strong> discovered that most deaths were caused by murder, <strong>b)</strong> argued with his superiors who disagreed with him even though Quincy was always right with every single dead body he was ever given for seven years straight and <strong>c)</strong> showed mangled-up dead bodies to policemen until they threw up or fainted.</p>
<p>That&#39;s standard practise amongst coroners these days, but Quincy was a trend-setter. And when he allowed NBC to film him solving 148 cases in a row from 1976 to 1983, Quincy signed a contract that promised him 25% of net profits from the show. And here&#39;s the problem. Quincy, who&#39;s bizarrely started to believe that he&#39;s an 85-year-old actor called Jack Klugman who also starred in <em>12 Angry Men </em>and two episodes of <em>Diagnosis Murder</em>, claims that NBC owes him money.</p>
<p>The <em>New York Tim</em>es reports on Jack Klugman&#39;s quest for Quincy&#39;s millions:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Mr. Klugman said his 1976 contract with NBC entitled him and his company, Sweater Productions, to 25 percent of the net profits of &ldquo;Quincy,&rdquo; which ran from 1976 to 1983 and was rerun afterward. &ldquo;I recently heard that they made $250 million, and it&rsquo;s still on TV in Germany,&rdquo; said Mr. Klugman, 85. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want their money. I want my money. I worked my tail off. I got up at 4 in the morning and stayed at the studio. I did rewrite. I edited.&rdquo; He said that his copy of the contract was lost when his agent died and that NBC refused to provide a copy. According to the lawsuit, NBC provided Mr. Klugman with an accounting statement showing that the series lost $66 million through 2006.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>There&#39;s a bit of a difference between $250 million and $minus66 million, and perhaps this lawsuit will get to the bottom of it. After all, Quincy needs to stand up for his 1970s/1980s procedural colleagues here. If NBC has been screwing him out of money, then what about <strong>Columbo</strong>? Or the singing teapot from <em>Murder She Wrote</em>? Or <strong>Ironside</strong>! Won&#39;t somebody think of Ironside! His legs don&#39;t even work properly!</p>
<p>Actually we&#39;re leading you on a little here &#8211; in all honesty we don&#39;t think that Quincy needs to sue NBC at all. We&#39;ve seen the opening titles to <em>Quincy</em> and it&#39;s clear that he&#39;s easily rich enough to lounge around on big yachts with blonde bikini-clad temptresses. That&#39;s enough money for anyone, surely.</p>
<p>To prove our point, here are the opening titles to <em>Quinc</em><em>y</em> with some newly-uncovered lyrics, aka the best thing on the internet at the moment&#8230;</p>
<p><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cRltZc416m0&#038;hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cRltZc416m0&#038;hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object></p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/31/arts/television/31arts-KLUGMANSUESO_BRF.html?ref=arts" target="_blank">Klugman Sues Over &lsquo;Quincy&rsquo; &#8211; <em>New York Times&nbsp;</em></a></p>
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		<title>Lisa Marie Presley Sues For Not Being A Massive Lardarse</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/lisa-marie-presley-sues-for-not-being-a-massive-lardarse/200812912.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/lisa-marie-presley-sues-for-not-being-a-massive-lardarse/200812912.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Mar 2008 16:15:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Daily Mail]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lisa Marie Presley]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pregnant celebrities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Because she's pregnant, Lisa Marie Presley has very naturally bloated out to the size of, say, Luxembourg - but that doesn't mean she's very happy about it.

You see, Lisa Marie Presley was only forced into confirming the pregnancy because The Daily Mail ran some pictures of her looking so fat that you'd think she needed to be transported everywhere on a reinforced forklift truck.

But Lisa Marie Presley isn't fat, she's pregnant. And so wounded by the thought that a British newspaper would have the nerve to call her fat that she's suing The Daily Mail. Nobody knows what Lisa Marie Presley will spend her damages on if she's successful, but the smart money's on cake. Cake and biscuits. And pies. Oh, and sausages. Lots of delicious sausages.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2008/03/070814_lisamarie_vmed_6pwidec1.jpg" title="Lisa Marie Presley Sues Daily Mail Fat Pregnant"><img src="../wp-content/uploads/2008/03/070814_lisamarie_vmed_6pwidec1.jpg" alt="Lisa Marie Presley Sues Daily Mail Fat Pregnant" width="150" height="149" /></a><strong>Because she&#39;s pregnant, Lisa Marie Presley has very naturally bloated out to the size of, say, Luxembourg &#8211; but that doesn&#39;t mean she&#39;s very happy about it.</strong></p>
<p>You see, Lisa Marie Presley was only forced into confirming the pregnancy because <em>The Daily Mail</em> ran some pictures of her looking so fat that you&#39;d think she needed to be transported everywhere on a reinforced forklift truck.</p>
<p>But Lisa Marie Presley isn&#39;t fat, she&#39;s pregnant. And so wounded by the thought that a British newspaper would have the nerve to call her fat that she&#39;s suing <em>The Daily Mail</em>. Nobody knows what Lisa Marie Presley will spend her damages on if she&#39;s successful, but the smart money&#39;s on cake. Cake and biscuits. And pies. Oh, and sausages. Lots of delicious sausages.</p>
<p><span id="more-12912"></span> Here&#39;s a secret &#8211; last week we almost ran a story on those <em>Daily Mail </em>pictures of Lisa Marie Presley looking all fat. We chose not to because the whole story would have basically just been &#39;Ooh, look at the big fat wobbly lady! Ooh fatty fatty fatty! Ooh fatty fatty fatty! Want a sausage, do you, love? You gigantic fat chunky fatto!&#39; and because we were probably running a more important story about <a href="../lindsay-lohan-naked-deliberately-for-once/200812522.php">Lindsay Lohan&#39;s tits</a>  or something instead.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Anyway, it&#39;s just as well we didn&#39;t &#8211; because now Lisa Marie Presley is on the warpath. As she pointed out last week, <a href="../lisa-marie-presley-violently-pregnant/200812881.php#more-12881">Lisa Marie Presley only looks fat because she&#39;s pregnant</a>. And, as the law states, if you call a pregnant woman fat, she can sue you for it.</p>
<p>So that&#39;s what Lisa Marie Presley has done. And, as anyone who&#39;s ever accidentally sat on a bus seat that a pregnant lady had her eye on knows only too well, <em>The Daily Mail</em> is about to get in the ear something chronic. Reuters reports:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>&quot;My client is deeply upset and offended by this article, especially as it was widely published just as she and her family were meant to be celebrating her happy news,&quot; said lawyer Simon Smith, who will represent Presley at the High Court&#8230; Presley, 40, wrote last week that she had been forced to &quot;show my cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that I am in fact pregnant. &quot;Once they got a glimpse of my expanding physique a few days ago, they have been like a pack of coyotes circling their prey whilst eerily howling with delight,&quot; she wrote on her blog at MySpace.com.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><em>&quot;Eerily howling with delight&quot;</em>? Either someone&#39;s been taking one of those nonsense creative writing day courses or all those cakes have got jammed into Lisa Marie Presley&#39;s brain and stopped it working properly. Maybe someone needs to sit Lisa Marie Presley down and tell her that actually, yes, she has been putting on quite a lot of weight. And that&#39;s because <em>she&#39;s pregnant</em>. You don&#39;t magically stay the same weight when there&#39;s a human being growing inside you draining you of nutrients, do you.</p>
<p>Anyway, suing a right-wing newspaper just because it said you&#39;re fat when actually you <em>are</em> fat should be the least of Lisa Marie Presley&#39;s concerns at the moment. Because in a few months, Lisa Marie is going to have to give birth to her baby. And the last time a Presley that size tried to push something that big out of their body, they ended up snuffing it on the crapper.</p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://uk.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUKL1014603120080310" target="_blank">Lisa Marie Presley sues Daily Mail &#8211; <em>Reuters&nbsp;</em></a></p>
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		<title>Nicolas Cage Sues Kathleen Turner Over Dog-Stealing</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/nicolas-cage-sues-kathleen-turner-over-dog-stealing/200812391.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/nicolas-cage-sues-kathleen-turner-over-dog-stealing/200812391.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Feb 2008 18:00:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathleen Turner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Libel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nicolas Cage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stealing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[To people of a certain age with very specific brain malfunctions, Nicolas Cage and Kathleen Turner are the epitome of sex and grace. So it's a shame they're out to get each other.

Fed up with a passage in her autobiography claiming that he's not only a drink-driver but a brazen chihuahua-thief, Nicolas Cage has decided to sue Kathleen Turner for everything she's got - which at the last count totalled three boxes of Serial Mom VHS tapes, some elastic-waisted jeans and half a packet of Lockets.

Still, Kathleen Turner should count herself lucky that Nicolas Cage is only suing her - it's only common decency that's stopping him from jumping into his old bear suit and smacking her right in the face.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2008/02/nicolas-cage.jpg" title="Nicolas Cage Sues Kathleen Turner Book Dog Stealing Libel"><img src="../wp-content/uploads/2008/02/nicolas-cage.jpg" alt="Nicolas Cage Sues Kathleen Turner Book Dog Stealing Libel" width="157" height="145" /></a><strong>To people of a certain age with very specific brain malfunctions, Nicolas Cage and Kathleen Turner are the epitome of sex and grace. So it&#39;s a shame they&#39;re out to get each other.</strong></p>
<p>Fed up with a passage in her autobiography claiming that he&#39;s not only a drink-driver but a brazen chihuahua-thief, Nicolas Cage has decided to sue Kathleen Turner for everything she&#39;s got &#8211; which at the last count totalled three boxes of <em>Serial Mom</em> VHS tapes, some elastic-waisted jeans and half a packet of Lockets.</p>
<p>Still, Kathleen Turner should count herself lucky that Nicolas Cage is only suing her &#8211; it&#39;s only common decency that&#39;s stopping him from jumping into his old bear suit and smacking her right in the face.</p>
<p><span id="more-12391"></span> Thanks to <em>Ghost Rider</em> and <a href="../national-treasure-2-wigs-out-weekend-box-office/200711606.php"><em>National Treasure 2</em> topping the box office</a>, it&#39;s fair to say that Nicolas Cage is at the top of his game. That&#39;s strange in itself, especially given that the latter mainly involves Cage saying a lot of words he clearly doesn&#39;t understand and wishing he could just roll around the floor screaming <em>&quot;Not the bees! NOT THE BEES!&quot;</em> at the top of his voice again.</p>
<p>Anyway, as a bona fide star, Nicolas Cage needs to protect his reputation. Admittedly his reputation is that of a <a href="../razzies-betting-odds-sharon-stones-tits-worst-couple/20077024.php">terrible actor</a>  who <a href="../nicolas-cage-gives-baby-ridiculous-name/20051294.php">names his son after Superman</a>  and goes all <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=983_qqatdTQ" target="_blank">boogley-eyed when confronted with triplets</a>, but that&#39;s his reputation and he needs to defend it my any means he can.</p>
<p>And that means that when chainsaw-voiced actresses who used to be pretty but now look kind of old and dumpy saw that Nicolas Cage possibly stole a small dog 22 years ago, he&#39;ll sue them to high heaven. A shame, because that&#39;s pretty much what Kathleen Turner claims in her autobiography <em>Send Yourself Roses</em>.</p>
<p>Discussing when she worked with Nicolas Cage on the 1986<strong> Francis Ford Coppola</strong> movie <em>Peggy Sue Got Married</em>, Kathleen Turner wrote:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>&quot;Everything Francis (Ford Coppola) wanted him (Cage) to do, he went against to show that he wasn&#39;t under his uncle&#39;s wing. Which was ridiculous. Oh, that stupid voice of his and the fake teeth! Honestly, I cringe to think about it. He caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He&#39;d come across a Chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.&quot;</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>And, as far as Nicolas Cage is concerned, none of that happened, and so he&#39;s launched libel proceedings against Kathleen Turner in London&#39;s High Court. Why London? It could be because Nicolas Cage has a house in England and it&#39;s closer, or it could be because British libel laws are weighted flatly in favour of the plaintiff and it would have been much harder for him to win a similar case in America.</p>
<p>Either way, it&#39;s so rare for celebrities to sue each other that this could be one to keep an eye on. After all, imagine if <strong>Steve Guttenburg</strong> sued <strong>Ally Sheedy</strong> for something that happened during the production of <em>Short Circuit</em>. That&#39;s the magnitude of we&#39;re talking about here, people.</p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/entertainment/Nicolas+Cage-47999.html" target="_blank">Nicolas Cage To Sue Turner Over &#39;False&#39; Book Claims &#8211; <em>FemaleFirst&nbsp;</em></a></p>
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		<title>Tony Parker Wants $40m For Not Shagging That Model</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/tony-parker-wants-40m-for-not-shagging-that-model/200711561.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/tony-parker-wants-40m-for-not-shagging-that-model/200711561.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:30:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alexandra Paressant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Affair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eva Longoria]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[French]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[model]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tony Parker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X17]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker is denying that cheated on his wife with French model Alexandra Paressant so strongly that he's suing X17 for $40 million over it.

X17 is the picture agency that first published reports - along with text messages apparently proving it - that Tony Parker had slept with Alexandra Paressant after meeting her for the first time at his own wedding, partly because he was fed up about Eva Longoria yammering on about how sperm gives you acne all the time. But Tony Parker denies having sex with - or even ever meeting - this model so strenuously that he's after $40 million in damages.

Incidentally, if $40 million is the going rate for not having sex with models that you've never met, then we've estimated that we're owed roughly all the money in the whole wide world. Cash is fine. Or a cheque. Or food. Scraps of food. We're so hungry. Anyone?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="../wp-content/uploads/2007/12/spurs07parker.jpg" title="Tony parker Eva Longoria Sues X17 Affair French Model Alexandra Paressant"><img src="../wp-content/uploads/2007/12/spurs07parker.jpg" alt="Tony parker Eva Longoria Sues X17 Affair French Model Alexandra Paressant" width="150" height="150" /></a><strong>Eva Longoria&#39;s husband Tony Parker is denying that cheated on his wife with French model Alexandra Paressant so strongly that he&#39;s suing X17 for $40 million over it.</strong></p>
<p>X17 is the picture agency that first published reports &#8211; along with text messages apparently proving it &#8211; that Tony Parker had slept with Alexandra Paressant after meeting her for the first time at his own wedding, partly because he was fed up about Eva Longoria yammering on about how sperm gives you acne all the time. But Tony Parker denies having sex with &#8211; or even ever meeting &#8211; this model so strenuously that he&#39;s after $40 million in damages.</p>
<p>Incidentally, if $40 million is the going rate for not having sex with models that you&#39;ve never met, then we&#39;ve estimated that we&#39;re owed roughly all the money in the whole wide world. Cash is fine. Or a cheque. Or food. Scraps of food. We&#39;re so hungry. Anyone?</p>
<p><span id="more-11561"></span> When you&#39;re married to someone like Eva Longoria, as Tony Parker is, there&#39;s no need to cheat. With Eva Longoria you get to see that legendary cameltoe in its actual size instead of <a href="../eva-longoria-ob-seen-from-space/20062650.php">blown up so huge</a>  that the cosmonauts can see it, plus you get to experience that world-famous irritating narcissistic rasp all day, every day, non-stop, all the time until the day you die. Why would you even bother looking elsewhere?</p>
<p>Tony Parker knows that you definitely wouldn&#39;t, not at all, especially with French models that he&#39;s never even met before. But that didn&#39;t stop X17&#39;s website from publishing an interview with French model Alexandra Paressant where she claimed to have had a two-month affair with Tony Parker that started when <strong>Thierry Henry </strong>introduced the pair at Tony&#39;s wedding and ended when she discovered he was cheating on her with a third woman.</p>
<p>Alexandra Paressant also claimed that Eva Longoria doesn&#39;t like having sex in front of a mirror and thinks sperm gives you acne. Which it apparently does, as <a href="../eva-longorias-husband-not-boning-anyone-else-unless-he-is/200711434.php#comment-308204">a sperm expert told us</a>.</p>
<p>Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have already <a href="../eva-longorias-husband-not-boning-anyone-else-unless-he-is/200711434.php">denied these claims</a>  &#8211; about the affair, not the jizz-acne &#8211; but now Tony Parker has taken things one step further, by suing X17 for $40 million over it. In the lawsuit, Tony Parker claims he doesn&#39;t even know who Alexandra Paressant is:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>&quot;This is false. It never happened. And X17 had to know that the story was false, or, at the very least, it had to have entertained serious doubts about the credibility of its supposed source. No one from X17 attempted to contact Mr. Henry, who &#8230; would have told them in no uncertain terms that this woman was not at the wedding. If this woman exists, he has no way of knowing whether she is one of the many fans who have, from time to time, managed to obtain his cell phone number and called or left messages or who may have engaged him in conversation.&quot;</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>So Tony Parker must be fairly certain that he didn&#39;t have a two-month affair with a French model, in which case good for him. This blistering denial will only help to keep his marriage to Eva Longoria rock-solid, or at least as rock-solid as a marriage can be when your wife is a self-absorbed midget with a voice like a toy dog impersonating a machine gun.</p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jymjjzUbYlT4TUxhfit4dD4QcVAgD8TKTNV03" target="_blank">Parker Sues Web Site That Claimed Affair &#8211; <em>Associated Press&nbsp;</em></a></p>
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		<title>Bon Jovi Fan Sues, Surprisingly Not For Boredom</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/bon-jovi-fan-sues-surprisingly-not-for-boredom/200711408.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/bon-jovi-fan-sues-surprisingly-not-for-boredom/200711408.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Dec 2007 17:00:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>hecklerspray staff</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bon Jovi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paralysed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A Bon Jovi fan has launched a $14 million (Â£7 million) compensation claim after he was paralysed at a gig in Edmonton, Canada.

Initial rumours suggest that Dennis Schulz suffered a dislocated spinal cord when he was crushed by an overpowering force of mediocrity that had been building like a whirlwind, reaching its destructive crescendo somewhere between the second chorus of Bad Medicine and the opening chord of Always. Schulz reached a level of boredom that scientists refer to as â€˜The David Gray Effectâ€™, where mind and body becomes so aware of the dullness of the immediate moment that the spine gives up on you, and tries to flee the body.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="../bon-jovi-fan-sues-surprisingly-not-for-boredom/200711408.php" title="Bon Jovi fan sues paralysed"><img src="../wp-content/uploads/2007/12/bon-jovi-plane-crash-runway.jpg" alt="Bon Jovi fan sues paralysed" width="151" height="149" /></a><strong>A Bon Jovi fan has launched a $14 million (&pound;7 million) compensation claim after he was paralysed at a gig in Edmonton, Canada. </strong></p>
<p>Initial rumours suggest that <strong>Dennis Schulz</strong> suffered a dislocated spinal cord when he was crushed by an overpowering force of mediocrity that had been building like a whirlwind, reaching its destructive crescendo somewhere between the second chorus of <em>Bad Medicine</em> and the opening chord of <em>Always</em>. Schulz reached a level of boredom that scientists refer to as &lsquo;The David Gray Effect&rsquo;, where mind and body becomes so aware of the dullness of the immediate moment that the spine gives up on you, and tries to flee the body.</p>
<p><span id="more-11408"></span>However, further research into the matter revealed that this was not the case, and that the injuries was caused by Schulz getting caught up in a brawl. Initial reports suggest that the crowd became so overwhelmed with the mediocrity of the situation that, in what scientists call &lsquo;The Collective David Gray Effect&rsquo;, where the mind and body become all too aware of the collective dullness of the immediate moment, that the only effective therapy is to lash manically out at the bored soul standing nearest you.</p>
<p>However, further research into the matter reveal it is almost totally unclear as to what sparked the brawl.</p>
<p>Schulz has filed his lawsuit against four fans, staff, promoters and the venue in Edmonton, but not the band, who have got away with it scot-free. Guitarist <strong>Richie Sambora</strong>, 48, commented:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>&quot;Oh god, we&#39;re really, really sorry.&quot;</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/paralysed%20bon%20jovi%20fan%20sues%20for%20compensation_1053393" target="_blank">Paralysed Bon Jovi Fan Sues For Compensation &#8211; <em>Contactmusic</em></a><em> </em></p>
<p><strong>[story by Paul Sorrenti]&nbsp;</strong></p>
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		<title>Dennis Quaid Vs The Giant Drug Company</title>
		<link>http://www.hecklerspray.com/dennis-quaid-vs-the-giant-drug-company/200711208.php</link>
		<comments>http://www.hecklerspray.com/dennis-quaid-vs-the-giant-drug-company/200711208.php#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Dec 2007 13:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stuart Heritage</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Astronime Domini]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrities and babies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[celebrity lawsuit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dennis Quaid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Drug]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heparin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overdose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[twin]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Dennis Quaid's newborn baby twins are lucky to be alive - it wasn't so long ago that they were being injected with doses of blood-thinner 1,000 times larger than normal.

But although his new son and daughter survived the giant Heparin overdose - and are thought to be recovering well - Dennis Quaid is still thirsty for revenge. That's why Dennis Quaid and his wife Kimberly Buffington are suing Baxter Healthcare Corp, which manufactures Heparin, for Â£50,000 in a product liability lawsuit. It shows just how angry Dennis Quaid must be to pursue Baxter through legal paths, because in the past he's resolved any outstanding medical difficulties by shrinking himself down to a sub-atomic level and injecting himself up Martin Short's arse.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/dennis-quaid-vs-the-giant-drug-company/200711208.php" title="Dennis Quaid Sues Drug babies twin Heparin overdose lawsuit"><img src="http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/dennisquaid.jpg" alt="Dennis Quaid Sues Drug babies twin Heparin overdose lawsuit" width="150" height="150" /></a><strong>Dennis Quaid&#39;s newborn baby twins are lucky to be alive &#8211; it wasn&#39;t so long ago that they were being injected with doses of blood-thinner 1,000 times larger than normal.</strong></p>
<p>But although his new son and daughter survived the giant Heparin overdose &#8211; and are thought to be recovering well &#8211; Dennis Quaid is still thirsty for revenge. That&#39;s why Dennis Quaid and his wife <strong>Kimberly Buffington</strong> are suing Baxter Healthcare Corp, which manufactures Heparin, for &pound;50,000 in a product liability lawsuit. It shows just how angry Dennis Quaid must be to pursue Baxter through legal paths, because in the past he&#39;s resolved any outstanding medical difficulties by shrinking himself down to a sub-atomic level and injecting himself up <strong>Martin Short</strong>&#39;s arse.</p>
<p><span id="more-11208"></span> There are basically two things that parents never want to hear. One is <em>&quot;This is my new boyfriend. His name is Joshua but everyone calls him Devil Puke,&quot;</em> and the other is <em>&quot;Sorry, we appear to have accidentally given your newborn baby twins 1,000 times more of this anti-coagulant drug than we were supposed to. Whoops.&quot;</em></p>
<p>And although Dennis Quaid still has the first one to look forward to, he knows the stomach-dropping fear of the second only too well. Last month the lives of Dennis Quaid&#39;s baby twins were put in jeopardy when hospital workers at the Los Angeles Cedars-Sinai  Medical Centre inadvertently injected them with 10,000 units of blood-thinning drug Heparin instead of the usual 10.</p>
<p>Fortunately <a href="http://www.hecklerspray.com/dennis-quaids-babies-recovering-from-massive-overdose/200711001.php">Dennis Quaid&#39;s twins have recovered well</a>  from the almighty, near-fatal cock-up, but that doesn&#39;t mean that Dennis Quaid is going to forgive and forget. No, Dennis Quaid wants revenge, just like in that film of his, <em>Jaws 3-D</em>. But, you know, he wants it by suing a pharmaceutical company instead of exploding a big shark&#39;s mum with a hand grenade. For once. </p>
<p>So, long story short, Dennis Quaid has taken out a lawsuit against Baxter Healthcare Corp because he claims that different volumes of Heparin should be labelled more visibly, and the fact that they aren&#39;t is grounds for a product liability suit on the basis that he wants no other children to go through the same thing.</p>
<p>However, Baxter is claiming that the babies were only overdosed in the first place because hospital workers can&#39;t read numbers very well. Baxter spokeswoman <strong>Deborah Spak</strong> says:</p>
<blockquote><p><em>&quot;This is not a product issue. The issue here is about improper use of a product. While we strive to clearly differentiate our products and dosages, no amount of differentiation will replace the value of clinicians carefully reviewing and reading a drug name and dose before dispensing and administering it.&quot;</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>While it&#39;s not our place to speculate on legal matters that we clearly know nothing about &#8211; for once &#8211; the main thing is that Dennis Quaid&#39;s twins are OK. And the other main thing is that all of their future medical ailments will be cured by injecting a miniature Dennis Quaid into their arses and letting him fly around their guts getting slightly drunk, singing <strong>Sam Cooke</strong> songs and occasionally battling miniature evil nonspecific Europeans in a fight to the death above some stomach acid.</p>
<p><strong>Read more:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5imY_A4lwfpdsw20ZU8GmmeAwaNMgD8TB0P7G0" target="_blank">Dennis Quaid And Wife Sue Drug Maker &#8211; <em>Associated Press&nbsp;</em></a></p>
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