Articles tagged with: Sues
Suge Knight may have allegedly hung Vanilla Ice by his ankles off a 20-storey building once, but don't ever mess with his earrings. Because, seriously, if Suge Knight ever comes round your house and suddenly loses one of his earrings, you're very possibly going to get sued. Of course, it'll help if the loss of the earring is directly preceded by an armed stranger bursting into your house and shooting Suge Knight in the leg, but mainly it's about the earring thing. So you wouldn't want to be Kanye West, because he's the man who Suge Knight is suing for the earring loss and the shooting. And Suge Knight means business, too - once he's done suing Kanye West he's going to punch Busta Rhymes in the face for losing one of his anklets and then twist one of Diddy's nipples as hard as he can until Diddy promises give back his missing cockring.
We've got nothing but sympathy for Ashley Dupre - after all, who hasn't performed sexual acts on a high-ranking politician for cash these days? And if a scandal about you being a massive whore with a slightly gross-looking New York governor isn't bad enough, the inevitable follow-up story about the way you took your clothes off for a teen-exploiting series of softcore videos is just utterly degrading. That's why we're fully behind Ashley Alexandra's decision to sue Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for $10 million because he quickly released a 2003 video of her flashing her breasts in the wake of the scandal as a money-making enterprise. She's completely correct - if she didn't chase Joe Francis for cash, then what kind of filthy prostitute would Ashley Dupre be? A shit one, that's what.
Rob Lowe will do just about anything to make people forget that he used to be an alcoholic who'd film himself shagging young girls.
So far these efforts have included an advert for the California tourist board and the TV show Brothers And Sisters, but neither worked - because a) he's not really very recognisable these days and b) it's Brothers And Sisters, for God's sake. Who'd watch that?
So instead Rob Lowe has tried a different tactic - he's suing all of his employees. And rightly so, because we know we'd rather go down in history as the man who sued people for having sex on our bed, finding us attractive and swearing at them for being the bloke from Brothers And Sisters.
Woody Allen hasn't endorsed any product since the Acme Adopted Stepdaughter That You're Allowed To Sleep With in 1992.
But you wouldn't know it to drive around America gawking out of your car window instead of concentrating on the road ahead of you. Because if you've been doing that, the moments directly before your gruesome death were probably spent looking at billboards of Woody Allen appearing to endorse American Apparel.
However, Woody Allen hasn't been endorsing American Apparel at all, which is why he's launched a $10 million lawsuit against the company. And he has every right to, because the billboards don't accurately representing him as an artist. No, they'd need to be 500% shitter and have Ewan McGregor in them to do that.
Judging by the amount of time it's on the telly over here, Quincy could probably buy himself a bejewelled sex unicorn with repeat royalties from his show.
Trouble is, though, Quincy says he can't even afford a bejewelled sex gerbil, which he's why he's suing NBC.
Hard-bitten, authority-disrespecting, super-sleuthing coroner Quincy - who was the star of a hard-hitting documentary series for seven years - claims that NBC has been gypping him out of money. Money that he wants. However, Quincy is now 85 years old and might not be thinking straight, because he's also claiming that Quincy wasn't a documentary and that his real name is Jack Klugman. Quincy's name isn't Jack Klugman! Quincy's name is Quincy! Quincy!
Because she's pregnant, Lisa Marie Presley has very naturally bloated out to the size of, say, Luxembourg - but that doesn't mean she's very happy about it.
You see, Lisa Marie Presley was only forced into confirming the pregnancy because The Daily Mail ran some pictures of her looking so fat that you'd think she needed to be transported everywhere on a reinforced forklift truck.
But Lisa Marie Presley isn't fat, she's pregnant. And so wounded by the thought that a British newspaper would have the nerve to call her fat that she's suing The Daily Mail. Nobody knows what Lisa Marie Presley will spend her damages on if she's successful, but the smart money's on cake. Cake and biscuits. And pies. Oh, and sausages. Lots of delicious sausages.
To people of a certain age with very specific brain malfunctions, Nicolas Cage and Kathleen Turner are the epitome of sex and grace. So it's a shame they're out to get each other.
Fed up with a passage in her autobiography claiming that he's not only a drink-driver but a brazen chihuahua-thief, Nicolas Cage has decided to sue Kathleen Turner for everything she's got - which at the last count totalled three boxes of Serial Mom VHS tapes, some elastic-waisted jeans and half a packet of Lockets.
Still, Kathleen Turner should count herself lucky that Nicolas Cage is only suing her - it's only common decency that's stopping him from jumping into his old bear suit and smacking her right in the face.
Eva Longoria's husband Tony Parker is denying that cheated on his wife with French model Alexandra Paressant so strongly that he's suing X17 for $40 million over it.
X17 is the picture agency that first published reports - along with text messages apparently proving it - that Tony Parker had slept with Alexandra Paressant after meeting her for the first time at his own wedding, partly because he was fed up about Eva Longoria yammering on about how sperm gives you acne all the time. But Tony Parker denies having sex with - or even ever meeting - this model so strenuously that he's after $40 million in damages.
Incidentally, if $40 million is the going rate for not having sex with models that you've never met, then we've estimated that we're owed roughly all the money in the whole wide world. Cash is fine. Or a cheque. Or food. Scraps of food. We're so hungry. Anyone?
