The soon to be front cover model of every Heat magazine for the rest of eternity received a mixed reaction from the crowd, shrill screams of affection from the moist army of girls in the audience and begrudging boos from the boys. However, special mention has to go to Stu for his ill-advised yet hilarious attempt at crowd surfing: jump, crowd parts in confusion and hit the floor. Textbook.

Housemates fought in the battle of the century for this week’s much coveted and strategically invaluable Head of House(tm) title. Well, they stood still for around 20 minutes painted as various famous statues until it came down to Mo and Rex. Rex took the title by being the best at being still for the longest amount of time; after all he can do literally anything he sets his mind to.

So with Rex as the new head of house how does that shape the dynamics for the other housemates, will his ever changing sociopathic tendencies shine though even more, will he finally argue at Nicole long enough about NOTHING to push her before she jumps and will Mikey obey his new ginger master? As always, Paddy Power have their say on the matter.

Mikey is still the nation’s favourite food smeared all over their face, outspoken, Scottish blind chap. He even managed to top the nob in cup-gate incident this week by revealing to the assembled housemates that he once accepted a top award for the radio station he works at with, yes you’ve guessed it… his nob out. Still he is blind didn’t you know, so if you don’t bet on him you are against blind people… you sicken me. Big Brother Betting Odds – 2-1.

Darnell is increasingly paranoid as time goes by in the house. His confidence is still shockingly shaken post Sara-11, where she decided that Stu is more her type than bubble-butted reformed bad boy, D-Dog. His natural charm is still flowing though mainly due to the fact that he is the most twitchy and crazy housemate for a good few years. Big Brother Betting Odds – 5-2.

Rachel’s spirits have risen after she survived this week’s eviction and got a little party to celebrate where she ate a lot of marmite sandwiches. In a very clumsy analogy, Rachel is increasingly the marmite housemate; you either love her or hate her. Either way she is still in and still being bullied on all fronts, but at least she is still one of the favourites. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-2.

Kat has managed to lower the public’s view of her silly voiced charm and excitable mushroom face this week after numerous dull tantrums and going on about cookies once again, yes Kat we can tell from looking at you that you ruddy LOVE cookies. Well done, have a cookie, actually best not. There is a credit-munch on at the moment you know. Big Brother Betting Odds – 6-1.

Lisa, the self styled Amazonian mental is still well liked in the house, well she confuses people so much with her constant life lessons, boasting and plain insanity that they forget to nominate her each week. Plus better not say much about her otherwise Mario might jump on my head then escape down a handy nearby green pipe. A cert for the final week. Big Brother Betting Odds – 7-1.

Rex, where to even begin? Rex’s Machiavellian plan seems to be coming to fruition this week after being crowned head of house for the first time, thereby becoming immune from this week’s nominations and hence surviving until the final week. Remember Nasty Nick? He wasn’t actually nasty, let’s face it: Mugabe ain’t got nothing on Rex. His constant bickering with ‘love of his life’ posho Nicole will soon come to a head when his transformation to the dark side will be complete, and he will on national television electrocute Nicole with finger lightening after she disobeys her master. Big Brother Betting Odds – 20-1.

Sara, lovely Aussie Sara. The excitable Aussie beaut (see what I did there) is still an outsider as far as winning is concerned, probably by alienating all the female viewers by trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to cosy up to best Dad in the world Stu and rejecting loveable Darnell. Big Brother Betting Odds – 40-1.

Mohamed has been the victim of his own gluttony again this week thereby almost guaranteeing himself to be nominated, plus he has developed an inappropriate crush on Sara which he cringingly works on every time they are left alone for more than 3 seconds. Big Brother Betting Odds – 50-1.

And finally, Nicole the spoilt, trophy ‘wife’ of despotic dictator Rex has managed to be so pointless and annoying she has found herself in a situation where Paddy Power has given her lower odds than an if Abu Hamza were to enter the house, so unlucky. Big Brother Betting Odds – 200-1.

So how will Rex’s first full day as head of house go? Will the levels of paranoia keep on rising and will Mikey tell us another nob related story, come back tomorrow and find out. In the meantime, check with Paddy Power for up to the minute odds on the sods in the house.

Story By Ben Morrison – sorry about the lateness!

Stu should be climbing the steps before the night is out and here’s hoping Rex will be thoroughly confused by the whole thing.

Rachel’s tears over the dead goldfish – and Nicole’s laughter at her reaction showed them both up for what they are.

Okay, so tears over a dead goldfish do seem slightly over the top – but Nicole’s smug ’she’s crying over the goldfish’, snigger, snigger signposted the bitch for what she is.

Stuart wants to go, of course, He’ll be pleased as punch if he walks tonight. But the house will have to realise that Rachel is a real contender this time around.

So, with time slowly running out – who do Paddy Power think is still in the frame for the title this year?

Mikey looks set to win. The canny Scot is too clever to be beaten. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel is still second, and her performance over the dead goldfish may have solidified her status and even have her pushing Mikey for Paddy Power’s top spot. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Third favourite Darnell is losing it slightly – and all because he go a knock back from Aussie chick Sara. It’s been fun to watch the lad suffer, then come out fighting. Big Brother Betting odds – 7-2

Kat, Kat, Kat – constantly chasing her tail. How boring after ten minutes. But she will outstay most and be there for the final day, as will Lisa. Big Brother betting odds – Kat (4-1), Lisa (8-1)

Nasty bastard Rex is fast being found out by the rest of the housemates. If he doesn’t go next week I shall be shocked to the core. Big Brother betting odds – 18-1

Stuart, it look’s like you’re off tonight, son – at least you’ll be happy. Big Brother betting odds – Stu 20-1

It will be interesting to see how Sara reacts if Stu goes tonight. She has invested a lot of time getting the hunk interested in him. Will she try to ‘use’ Darnell again as her love interest? Big Brother betting odds – Sara (25-1)

Mohamed – sorry son, you’ve got no chance. Big Brother betting odds – 40-1

Nicole – waste of space. Big Brother betting odds – 100-1

Next week: with another housemate out, how will the dynamic have been affected? And though it’s likely to be Stuart going, what will happen if the public have a change of heart and kick out Rachel? Keep your eyes on Paddy Power for the most recent updates.

Story By Richard Hughes

But she looks odds on to be wrong – and it will be beefcake Stuart who athletically tackles those steps to freedom tomorrow, finally leaving the house and getting what he wants so badly.

It’s not just the Olympics that could be worth a flutter though, and our pals at Paddy Power have all the betting odds you would ever need for Big Brother.

Olympic Stu has been itching to get out for weeks now – no doubt hoping to get his teeth into that modelling contract or TV offer bound to be on its way. Big Brother betting odds – 1-6

So Rachel will likely survive and justify her second favourite status – much to the shock of Rex, who thinks she’s a waste of space and that she will go. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

Mikey has finally sussed bully Rex and told man-woman Lisa exactly what he thinks of the conceited peacock. It’s just a shame, Mikey, that you didn’t use your head-of-house megaphone to let everyone else know what a prick he is.

Okay, they should have been able to work it out for themselves by now – but sometimes you need a nudge from a blind guy to see the wood for the trees, don’t ya?

The bald Scot continues to annoy the rest of the housemates this week, while upping the ante in the betting stakes. He remains favourite to win the whole thing – and who would bet against that right now. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel is still second, her strength coming from Rex’s bullying and the fact that people like Lisa think she’s playing a game when quite obviously, she’s just being nice. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Third favourite now, however, is Darnell, who has leapfrogged the bubbling Kat. The skinhead albino rapper, who is being pawed by Aussie flirt Sara, may be picking up the sympathy vote, while his entertainment value is higher than most, too. Fair play. Anyone else chuckle at his slouchy Neanderthal walk – or is it just me? Big Brother Betting odds – 7-2

Kat’s hissy-fits have seen her drop down the odds table – she’s still way ahead of Lisa, but that pair are almost certain to make the last day because they won’t get enough nominations in one week to be up for eviction until then. Big Brother betting odds – Kat (4-1), Lisa (8-1)

Rex must go before he becomes a dictator-like figure – surely the housemates will follow Mikey’s lead and see sense before the final week? The public have and he has been slipping down the odds for weeks now. But what if his evil scheme works? Then you could make a few quid out of the devil. Big Brother betting odds – 18-1

Stuart is still an outside bet, despite the likelihood of him walking this week – and his mate Sara, who seems intent on breaking poor Darnell’s heart and bagging herself a bit of Stu instead, isn’t out of the running either. Big Brother betting odds – Stu (20-1), Sara (25-1)

But, the rest of the field look to have cooked their goose. Mohamed and Nicole are dead housemates walking, and it’s only a matter of time before they are sent on that long walk up the stairs. At least Mo will get a decent feed then. Big Brother betting odds – Mo (40-1), Nicole (100-1).

Tomorrow: it’s eviction day – will it be the expected outcome of hunk-o-Stu giving Davina that all-important one-to-one interview, or will public opinion swing in favour of ousting Rachel because she… hmm… is a bit too nice? Either way, Paddy Power have all your betting needs.

Story By Richard Hughes

And thank you too Mikey for winding up Rex – someone had to but only the bald, blind, slightly mental Scot had the balls. Or the duck and the jug.

And, excuse me, why is everyone getting so het up about a little bit of water? For God’s sake Kat, lighten up you sad little odd-bod. You fell asleep, deal with it. Rex – you fell asleep too: DEAL WITH IT YOU IDIOT.

Rex got quite riled: “You’re starting to annoy people with your little duck and your jug,” he yelled. Well Rex, you’re starting to annoy me with your mouth and your clingy blonde.

But in the midst of all these watering downs and ill-feeling, at least we can rely on Paddy Power to keep us up to speed on the latest Big Brother betting odds.

There are some really fragile egos in that house and it comes to something when a small splash of water from a blind guy with a small yellow duck which has a tiny hole in it – which you could quite easily evade because, hey, rocket scientists: he’s blind – starts a group argument and then a Big Brother cold war.

But Stuart started to wake up a little yesterday – about time too. Up for for the chop this week, after he was disappointed not to leave last Friday when Dale was voted out, Stu began to stir things up, winding up half of the housemates while encouraging the others to get shirty.

Good on ya, that’s the Stu we want. But can he fight off the challenge of Rachel? Big Brother betting odds – 1-10

Rachel has continued to just be herself, sitting on some fences, every now and then having an opinion about something and generally confusing the housemates by being both genuine and nice. They may not trust her in the house but she’s still favourite to stay in this week’s eviction. Big Brother betting odds – 5-1

Yesterday we looked at the favourites to win, with Mikey, Rachel and Kat way out in front. There seems to be little chance according to Paddy Power that anyone else will walk away with the title this time around. But wait – don’t write off Sara just yet.

Her flirting is becoming more obvious and she is certainly playing off Darnell against Stu – and the Aussie chick is becoming more interesting. She is getting close to Darnell while wanting Stuart – her little looks told us all the story. The flirt to worry the faves? Big Brother betting odds – 25-1

Rex, BB’s big arse, is unlikely to garner enough to support to win it because, quite simply, he’s a wanker. But if you fancy a cheeky punt on the ginger whinger, then you could make a few quid if a miracle happens. Just don’t go anywhere near him with that holy duck water. Big Brother betting odds – 28-1

Then there are the ‘don’t waste your money’ duo – Nicole (yawn, bloody yawn), the blonde airhead waste-of-space, and Mo, who just doesn’t appeal to anyone, even himself I should imagine.

Nicole, as Mikey quite rightly pointed out yesterday, didn’t even audition for BB – so why should she even be in there? And Mo. Fat Mo, Lazy Mo, Tiresome Mo, Slow Mo… Go Mo. Big brother betting odds… Nicole an impossible 100-1 – Mo to go? No, then it’s 40-1 for you

Tomorrow: the eviction race… is it a race? Anyway – the eviction ‘thing’ hots up as we get towards D-Day for either Rachel or Stuart. Will the pretty boy manage to pull something out of the bag, or will the fact that the public actually like Rachel make it impossible for him to stay? Check with Paddy Power for regular updates on each housemates’ odds.

Story By Richard Hughes.

Last week he couldn’t really be bothered – but then Dale was easy meat, it was obvious he was going from the word go.

But Rachel is a completely different opponent. She is likely to raise her game while Stuart struggles to find his.

See if Stuart can raise his game, or if the bookies think Rachel is too far ahead in public opinion by checking Paddy Power.

Rachel, bullied by Rex for the last month, will get the public’s sympathy vote. She has been battered and bruised by a succession of barbed comments which have been flung in her direction by the callous chef.

So, though Stuart is likely to get his support from his teeny fans, Rachel may have a chance of saving her Big Brother skin by playing on her sympathy vote this week.

Amazing, despite her nomination, Rachel is still second favourite with Paddy Power to win the whole thing. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Still out front to win is Mikey – the new bald Mikey who managed to burst that Kat bubble yesterday, upsetting her and making her cry. Ah, shame… Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Cookie monster Kat, of course, remains third favourite to win, but her tears won’t have helped. The sympathy thing won’t work for her like it does for Rachel. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

The Bald Eagle, American Darnell, is still in the race though, with his on-off love thing with Sara keeping his story interesting. And he gave Kat the benefit of his wise words yesterday, when the tears started flowing. Big Brother betting odds – 4-1

Lisa, keeping mum, is continuing her games of stealth – she’ll be there in the final week – Big Brother betting odds – 12/1

The rest of the housemates are all outside bets, with nothing short of a miracle likely to help any of them win the competition.

Stuart to go then, with Rachel stronger than they all believe in that house. Imagine Rex’s face when Stu’s name is called up… the chef will be cooking up a storm then!

Tomorrow: will Stuart have altered his game plan accordingly? Will his odds look favourable at all, or is he consigned to Big Brother history? And will anyone in the house realise how much everyone outside actually likes Rachel? Who knows. Paddy Power are good at guessing, though.

Story By RIchard Hughes.

It was a bold move by Big Brother yesterday, who asked for the housemates to fill a jar with hair. And it was an even bolder Mikey who decided that he would go skinhead to get the task motoring.

Darnell joined him and now, here we are, with two rather strange-looking slapheads in the house, waiting for the nominations today.

We now have ten housemates left. So let’s take a look at who’s in the running for the title in 2008, with betting odds, as ever, provided by Paddy Power.

Mikey – Everyone’s favourite, Mikey is a strong bet for the title this year. The freshly-mown skinhead has been consistently number one in Paddy Power’s stakes and this is unlikely to change soon. The sympathy goes a long way it seems, for the blind Scot. Big Brother betting odds – 2-1

Rachel ­– Rex’s bullying may be cringe-worthy to watch, but it seems Rachel is benefiting from it in a strange way. While the chef keeps plugging away, the homely Welsh maid is climbing the odds table. Next thing you know she’ll be a winner, leaving Rex’s face a picture to behold. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1

Kat – Come on Kat, time to change your game plan. There must be a nasty piece of work in there somewhere. Let’s see it, you’re dropping down the charts and something needs to be done. From Ewok to Gremlin. That’d do it. Big Brother betting odds – 7-2

Darnell – Scalped like Mikey, Darnell only has eyes for Sara, and their flirting is profiting both of them. A love story is always good for the participants, as long as they want it to be. And Darnell, of course, gets the ‘I’ve never had a girlfriend’ sympathy vibe, too. Big Brother betting odds – 4-1

Stuart – Last week he was Mr Duller-than-Dull and he still survived. Thing is, the poor blighter wants to go. Even a love story wouldn’t liven this housemate up. Shame on him for even bothering to go to the auditions. Big Brother betting odds – 8-1

Lisa – Mummy of the house Lisa is playing a stealthy game at the moment. She shrunk into the shadows when her fella Mario was kicked out – and now just pops up making herself look good occasionally. An outside bet perhaps. Big Brother betting odds – 12-1

Sara – Aussie flirt Sara’s been playing with Darnell. But even that won’t better her chances. Destined for the boot, I’m afraid. Maybe even this week. Big Brother betting odds – 25-1

Rex – He’s a bully and a prick. Nuff said. Big Brother betting odds – 28-1

Mohamed – I notice he didn’t shave his locks off for the good of the house. Mo, Mo, Mo – you have no chance of winning. Why not just walk, eh? Big Brother betting odds – 50-1

Nicole – Dump Rex you blond bint. Yawn. Next… Big Brother betting odds – 100-1

Tomorrow: will the odds have swung in favour of any other housemate? Will Nicole make herself the public’s favourite by smacking Rex in his smug chops? Probably not, but we can dream. In the meantime, don’t forget to check Paddy Power for up-to-the-minute odds on the housemates.

Story By Richard Hughes.

They have yawned their way through the week only getting animated when nature called, yet it does seem slightly unreal that next week there will be no Dale – or, as an outside bet, no Stuart.

But with the odds changing regularly, who are we to say that Stu will remain an outside bet? To be perfectly sure, you’d have to check Paddy Power. But, to be honest, Stu will most likely remain an outside bet.

Dale has been there since day one and despite his yawn… yawn… lack of drive this week, he had been central to the show previously. This was especially true during his love-games with single mum Jen, who got booted out sharpish on Stuart’s arrival.

Now he’s wasted what is probably going to be his final week keeping the sofas warm and occasionally summoning up the energy to actually talk. Big Brother betting odds 1-25

Stuart was introduced to the show some time after it began, cruising into the BB compound on a bike to steal the girls’ hearts and crushing Dale’s hopes of being the beefiest hunk in there. Though in the end there were no stolen hearts.

One of the hunks must go – and Paddy Power reckon it’s Dale, seeing as Stu’s odds look a bit like this: Big Brother betting odds – 8-1.

So, who to win? If Dale goes, there will be ten housemates left. And here is our quick-glance guide on how they are likely to fair.

Darnell, currently in with a bloody good shout, may have upped his chances with his Sara antics. Big Brother betting odds ­- 7-2.

Mikey, the public’s favourite, may blindly walk away with title number nine. Big Brother betting odds 9-4.

Kat, despite being shrill and amazingly annoying, she does seem to have the public behind her. Big Brother betting odds – 10-3.

Rex, who has treated his girlfriend Nicole to his more distasteful traits since her late arrival in the house, may have cooked his goose with the fans. Big Brother betting odds – 12-1.

Rachel, the target of Rex’s bullying, got a lovely message from mum this week and cried… Bless! Big Brother betting odds – 5-1.

Lisa, mummy of the house, will make the final day before leaving first. Big Brother betting odds – 14-1.

Mo, the afro kid with the big belly has chomped his way through this BB. Will go before the final day. Big Brother betting odds – 40-1.

Sara, the Aussie target of Darnell’s affections, may be an outside bet for the title. Especially if the flirtation with D continues. Big Brother betting odds – 20-1.

Nicole… yawn… did you put her in just to wind Rex up, BB? Big Brother betting odds – 66-1.

Put them all up next Friday BB, let’s get rid of some more dead wood. Don’t forget that the odds are likely to have taken a big hit after tonight’s eviction and the weekend’s antics could change everything a great deal more – check with Paddy Power to see where things are headed.

Story By Richard Hughes

Thank God for Rex and Nicole. At least their arguments are keeping things interesting while the dullest eviction ever is played out.

While we’re waiting to see which of the beefcakes go – the one with the stupidity and the hat, or the one with the stupidity and the shaved nipples – why not have a look at the latest eviction odds on Paddy Power.

Dale is odds-on big style to go, of course. He will leave the house to the sound of tumbleweeds rolling across the Big Brother compound we should imagine. Since Jennifer left Dale has become the most pointless housemate in history; no wonder he is such a big favourite to go. Slap a quid on and you’ll win five pence. Wow, that’s a bet and a half – as pointless as Dale himself. Big Brother betting odds – 1-20

Stuart, the second most pointless housemate, is the best of this bad bunch – can two be a bunch? Eye candy for the ladies and probably some of the boys, at least Stuart’s yawns are slightly comedic. Has there been a clip this week when Stuart has been yawning? It’s sure to help his odds.

After making it clear to everyone that he wanted to be up for eviction and garnering their votes, while tactically voting himself into position too, Stuart is now in for a shock: the chances of him going are almost zilch. At 7-1, you could make a pretty penny if a miracle did happen and he was sent on the long walk up those BB stairs. But it ain’t going to happen. Seriously, it ain’t. Big Brother betting odds – 7-1

Let’s hope Rex and Nicole’s arguments continue to keep the interest going until this eviction is done and dusted. But, hang on, she was threatening to walk out last night – right there, live on E4, she said she wanted to go.

Don’t do it. Don’t go. Don’t leave us with another pining housemate. “If you go I’ll go,” said Rex. Yeah right.

We don’t believe that for a minute.

Tomorrow: we will see if she has walked and whether he has followed – and we’ll get to have another look at the fascinating lives of Dale and Stuart. That’s as long as they haven’t slipped into comas, of course.

Mind you, that might make them interesting. Kill your boredom with a look at the latest eviction odds at Paddy Power.

Story By Richard Hughes

To be honest, we couldn’t give a toss here which one goes – both of them are boring the pants off us. Watching sulky Stuart lounge about and yawn every now and again is about as interesting as picking at the fluff on a jumper, while Dale’s spontaneous bursts of laughter are about as interesting as a sponge floating on top of the washing-up water.

Even so, these boring idiots can be put to good use by making you some money at Paddy Power, with the latest Big Brother eviction odds.

Dale – The other day Dale found Mikey stuffing a pig’s trotter down his trousers to form a camel toe the funniest thing ever. No Dale, it wasn’t the funniest thing ever, and you rolling around on the sofa repeating the phrase ‘camel toe’ like a child chanting: ‘He said poo! He said poo!’ over and over again just made us feel slightly sad, even embarrassed for you. Big Brother betting odds – 1-14

Stuart – How did Stuart get away with voting tactically? Can someone tell us this? Since when have housemates been able to vote for their friends so that they aren’t risking their up-for-nomination-status? Never, at least as far as we can recall. His ‘valid reasons’ didn’t actually have the vital ‘valid’ aspect to them.

If he had been forced to give proper reasons, maybe he would have had to become nasty Stu to get nominated. Hinting all week for people to vote for him, then he wanders into the diary room and twists Big Brother around his little finger. Next thing you know, he’s up for nomination without hurting anyone’s feelings. The boring twit. Big Brother betting odds – 13-2

This has to bee the worst week for nominations so far. The housemates from hell failed a task they were never likely to pass and therefore lost their right to nominate, while Rex’s sultry squeeze – annoying airhead Nicole – was never even allowed to take part.

And talking of Nicole, how boring is she? Like a sloth at a slumber party, she’s making one hell of an impression.

While we’re waiting for the worst eviction ever to be over with, let’s take a look at the two top runners to win this year’s competition.

Mikey – The young Scot managed the comedy moment of the week by pouring mushed-up Brussels over his head after aborting the sprout-eating task, which only he made a fist of, remains the favourite to win the show. Big Brother betting odds – 11-4.

Kat – Oh she of the annoying squeaky voice is still second favourite. Big Brother betting odds – 3-1.

Tomorrow: we get to see if Stu and Dale have affected their chances of being booted out of the house when we look at more eviction odds! But in the meantime you can keep an eye on affairs over at Paddy Power.

Story by Richard Hughes.

While Mikey has turned into a human sprout machine – after first refusing to take part in the task, he then decided the best way to chomp his way through 100 sprouts by chewing them up and turning the into some kind of sprout soup. Disgusting!

So Mikey remains favourite to win this BB, which Kat and Darnell his biggest rivals. But what of the others? How do they fair in the Paddy Power stakes?

Dale: Dale is Mr Smugly Genuine – so will glide through to the final week, but then crash and burn for being far too irritatingly nice. Never trust a nice guy, especially if they have designer stubble they fashion with a pair of scissors. Big Brother betting odds – 11-1.

Stuart: Poor old Darnell. Stuart has stolen his bird and broken his precious heart. Pass me the bowl of sprouts and the biggest sick bag you can find please. Stuart and Sara are BB’s latest love match, and it’s Darnell who suffers this time, relegated to sleeping on the sofa to avoid having to put up with their smooching in the bedroom. Big Brother Betting odds – 11-1.

Sara: As if Sara was going to chose Darnell over slick Stu. The Aussie man-trap has made her decision and it’s the hunk she’s wants. Darnell was devastated and stormed out of the bedroom liked a spoiled little boy, leaving Stu to savour the moment by frolicking under the sheets with the wide mouthed slapper. Her maneuvers may have hit her in the title stakes – not that she was ever a real threat to the big guns Kat and Darnell anyway – and she may have just given Darnell a bit of a boost in sympathy market. Keep your money in your pockets. Big Brother betting odds – 22-1.

Rachel: Is Rachel playing a game or not? Her decision to give everyone else their letters, rather keep her own, showed she is willing to do things without looking for kudos from the housemates. However, the viewing public may have picked up on her weepy diary room antics and taken her for the cynical game-playing bitch she might be, but after being bullied by Rex she may have picked up some sympathy votes. Big Brother Betting odds – 5-1.

Mohamed: At 50-1 it seems Mohamed has cooked his goose. There seems to be little interest in BB’s human dustbin anymore. He is as unlikely a winner as Prince Charles is a pole dancer. He may make it to the last day before getting the boot though. Big Brother Betting odds – 50-1.

Tomorrow: It’s nominations time. But you can quench your betting thirst before that by heading over to Paddy Power and checking out the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Story by Richard Hughes.

Instead, the Big Brother housemates who will all be holding their sphincters in as tightly as possible at about 10:30 tonight are Kat, Darnell, Dale, Stuart, Mohamed, Luke, Rex and Rachel. One of them has to go. We know. Just one. Life sucks, doesn’t it?

So here are the Big Brother betting odds for the eviction of Luke, Dale, Rachel, Rex and Stuart for you to work backwards with, courtesy of Paddy Power…

Luke – Luke was one of the Big Brother housemates to be nominated for eviction before all this football nonsense came along and made us have to write about four times as many housemates as we wanted to. Will the Big Brother viewers remain loyal to the housemates’ original choices? Probably not. Are we past the point of caring at the moment? Yup. Current Big Brother betting odds – 1/6

Dale – Dale is overwhelming the favourite to be evicted from Big Brother tonight because, well, because he’s a staggering tossbasket. He was a useless Big Brother head of house, he’s clearly a bit too in love with himself and he definitely deserves to be evicted tonight, if only for the heartbreaking look on his face when he realises that Jennifer isn’t there and that she doesn’t love him any more. That’d be television gold almost on the level of Tonightly, the brand new top-notch, very funny show that immediately follows the Big Brother eviction on Channel 4 tonight. Ahem. Current Big Brother betting odds – 12/1

Rachel – As perfectly obvious as it is that Rachel is lovely and the victim of needless bullying in the Big Brother house, there’s a part of us that half-expects her to be evicted tonight. Two reasons for this: 1) there’s a slowly-growing backlash building against Happy House, of which Rachel is a chief member, and 2) people are mostly idiots. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Rex – Rex, despite building a smidge of a following round these parts, absolutely threw it all away this week when, after watching the Big Brother intro tapes, he rounded on Rachel and made her cry. Rex says Rachel is a fake and a phony, but it’s better to be a fake than a braying, arrogant twunt. Right everyone? Everyone? We’re the only ones who care about this, aren’t we? Fiddlesticks. Current Big Brother betting odds – 8/1

Stuart – And then there’s Stuart, who was head of the Big Brother house this week until his cockheaded idea to discuss nominations by cackhandedly assigning each housemate a football team backfired. That’s one more thing to cry about, isn’t it Stuart, along with the way that nobody loves you and you miss your daughter and boo hoo hoo hoo hoo mer mer mer. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Next week: More Big Brother betting odds. What did you expect? But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

Probably the most exciting thing to happen on Big Brother is the fact that the heavenly housemates have been watching the hell housemates’ Big Brother intro videos. So basically it’s taken over 50 days for them to work out what we’ve all known from day one – that they’re all a bunch of stinking ninnies.

So who’ll win Big Brother this year? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Stuart, Rachel, Mikey and Rex, with help from Paddy Power…

Stuart - This is a big week for Stuart – he’s head of the Big Brother house! That means, um, that means… oh alright, that doesn’t actually mean anything at all, judging by Darnell and Dale’s stints as Big Brother house-heads. But at least it means that Stuart gets to act out his little alpha male power fantasy for a couple of days. And you know what that means – sensitive ‘boo hoo I miss the daughter I chose to neglect for two months of minor TV fame’ Stuart gets to take a back seat to the arrogant, strutting, only-interested-in-himself wanker that Stuart’s been cack-handedly trying to suppress since day one of Big Brother. Still, on the bright side, Stuart’s bound to infuriate so many people as head of the Big Brother house that he’s a dead cert for next week’s nominations. And you know what to do if that happens, right kids? Current Big Brother betting odds – 20/1

Rachel - Seriously, is Rachel being edited unfairly or something? Right from the start of Big Brother, a huge swathe of the housemates have violently taken against Rachel, but for the life of us we haven’t been able to work out why. True, she does talk a lot – actually that’s an understatement, Rachel never cocking shuts up – but she does appear to get on with everyone, at least. And yet people genuinely dislike her. The thought of the Big Brother bullies breaking Rachel’s spirit actually worries us quite a lot, you know – partly because she’s sort of adorably puppyish all the time, and partly because we’ve been looking forward to breaking Rachel’s spirit after she’s been evicted. Those bloody Big Brother housemates get all the fun! Damn them all! Current Big Brother betting odds – 14/1

Mikey – Mikey is walking, breathing proof that you can take away a Scotsman’s eyesight but nothing you can ever do will take away his inbuilt predilection for whining all the time about everything in a pointlessly annoying voice. And the British public – or at least the minuscule speck of it that still watches Big Brother – seems to be slowly cottoning on to what a mingey old wanker Mikey actually is, judging by the way his betting odds have dropped off in the last few weeks. The Big Brother housemates are still caught up in the whole ‘trying not to look like bastard by nominating the disabled guy’ thing, so Mikey’s going to be safe inside the Big Brother house for a good while yet. But if Mikey actually wins Big Brother we’ll do whatever the nonvisual alternative to eating a hat is. Listening to a hat? If Mikey wins Big Brother we’ll listen to a hat. Then he’ll be sorry. Current Big Brother betting odds – 11/1

Rex – Calling the remaining Big Brother housemates a bad bunch would be a horrible insult to bad bunches. The remaining Big Brother housemates are a cripplingly shit bunch of woefully dull titfaces who couldn’t be even slightly entertaining if you dressed them all up as clowns and paid a crocodile to chase them around. So, with that lengthy proviso out of the way, we can say that we’re starting to see Rex as a dark horse to win Big Brother. Of late he’s started to emerge as the malevolent leader of the Big Brother house – he speaks a lot of sense, but he’s completely unable to stop himself from lobbing insults at the rest of the housemates just for the hell of it. Not only is it the closest thing to entertainment at the moment, but we’re starting to think that Rex would make a semi-decent hecklerspray writer too. We’d beat him up after about an hour because he’s obviously a terrible cunt, but hey. Current Big Brother betting odds – 6/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Dale, Darnell, Luke and Kat. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

The latest fate to befall the Big Brother housemates trapped in hell is that they have to peel a great big pile of onions if they want to nominate anyone this week. Obviously this task was designed to make the housemates smell funny and cry, which is ironic because – thanks to the way we crap ourselves and weep every time we have to watch Big Brother – we know exactly how they feel.

Who’ll win Big Brother? Here are the Big Brother betting odds for Lisa, Rachel, Stuart, Rex and Mikey, with help from Paddy Power…

Lisa – Lisa has been inside the Big Brother house without Mario for over a week now, and she’s reacted in the way that all women do when they’ve been separated from their slightly controlling partner – by dressing up in a bin bag and shrieking “Spray me bum! Spray me bum!” to a man with a water pistol like she’s at the very worst kind of hen party on Earth. That alone would be enough to want Lisa overboard, but what really got our goat about her last week was the way that she comforted Belinda after she spazzed out about riding a bicycle for a short amount of time. If you didn’t see it, it was like a masterclass in passive-aggressive behaviour – “Yeah, I know how you feel, I felt exactly the same… when I ran all those marathons,” she cooed. Isn’t being offensively condescending a breach of Big Brother rules? Or is it Davina McCall’s job. Anyway, out please. Current Big Brother betting odds – 33/1

Rachel – At this rate, Rachel is going to go down in history as the Big Brother housemate who’s got the furthest without ever expressing an opinion about anything. This perpetual fence-sitting means that Rachel is the centre of calm constantly permeating from the core of the Big Brother house, but we do worry that one day someone is going to put two sandwiches in front of Rachel, tell her that she can only eat one and sit back while her skull actually explodes from all the indecision. Anyway, this week in the Big Brother house, Rachel… oh who are we kidding, Rachel didn’t do anything. It’s Rachel, for god’s sake. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Stuart – Being in the hell side of the Big Brother house, as he was last week, had a bit of a weird effect on Stuart. For one thing it meant that he’s starting to look slightly less orange, and for another it turned him into a great big blubbering girl of the highest order. Fair enough, Stuart was crying because he missed his daughter, but applying to appear in a three month-long reality TV show where you’re cut off from society completely probably isn’t the smartest move for someone who loves their five-year-old daughter. Also, bursting into tears because you entered Big Brother to prove to the world that you’re basically a good person? What kind of needy clueless wanker does that? Please get Stuart out. Get him out, throw him in a car and drive the car into a pit. Please. Current Big Brother betting odds – 18/1

Rex – We received something horrific last week. Something so unsettling that the feeling of queasiness has only just subsided. It was, and this is giving us the creeps just thinking about it, a comment in support of Rex. The man has fans, people. Time to retreat to the bunker until the threat of infection has passed, we think. Actually, we’re being a little bit hard on Rex – right now he seems to be the only Big Brother housemate aware that Big Brother is a game, and his constant haranguing of everyone else in the house is a glorious reminder of that. Don’t get us wrong – we don’t like Rex – but given the chance of watching him argue with people for the sake of it or watching Mohamed argue with people because he’s the worst kind of professional victim, we’d have to go with Rex. Current Big Brother betting odds – 14/1

Mikey – Since he’s blind, it’s only natural that Mikey’s other senses have been heightened to compensate. Not any of his obvious senses, mind you – he can’t hear or smell better than anyone else – but he can act like a ferocious dick more effectively than the rest of his Big Brother housemates put together. Being a dick is a sense, right? Anyway, now that Mario isn’t around to coddle him into outer space, Mikey has filled the time by whining relentlessly about everything – the shopping list, the amount of sleep he gets, anything else that happens to ambiently pass through his head. First Pete and now Mikey – we’re starting to suspect that Big Brother is on some sort of secret ‘all disabled people are bastards’ campaign. Current Big Brother betting odds – 11/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds to win for Dale, Darnell, Luke and Kat. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

This week, you see, is Big Brother’s Heaven and Hell week, where the Big Brother housemates will be divided up and made to experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Well, OK, maybe not the lowest of lows – they’re hardly likely to be forced to watch Big Brother, are they?

Here are the Big Brother betting odds to win for Stuart, Rex, Lisa, Rachel and Mikey, with help from Paddy Power…

Stuart – Remember when Jennifer was evicted from Big Brother? It seems so long ago, doesn’t it? Anyway, that moment effectively scuppered Stuart’s chances of winning Big Brother because, without an interested female to giggle and flirt and be all like “Ooh, aren’t I such a very pretty man?” with, the poor man’s entered into a crisis of confidence so overpowering that it’d finish off most mere mortals for good. One minute he wants to walk from Big Brother, the next he’s whining in the Diary Room about how everyone probably hates him. To be fair he’s right, but we just wish he’d shut up about it, the stupid orange tit. Current Big Brother betting odds – 33/1

Rex – After surviving his Big Brother eviction against Jennifer, Rex has slowly started to worm his way back into the affections of his fellow Big Brother housemates the only way he knows how – cake. It’s a genius move, really – it’s literally the one thing that sets Rex apart from anyone else. Who would you nominate for eviction, the wanker who bakes you cakes or the wanker who doesn’t? That’s why Rex has got it made. It’s also why Rex doesn’t really have to do anything else in the Big Brother house, like talk or smile or even be partially interesting for just once in his rubbish ginger life. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Lisa – Goodness, talk about a leap. Ever since Big Brother began, Lisa has consistently been schlepping around the bottom of the pile when it comes to Big Brother betting odds. But now that she’s been unshackled from Mario, we’re actually talking about Lisa on a Tuesday. That’s brilliant – imagine what massive feats she can achieve without Mario around! All that time where she doesn’t have to sit around listening to all his endless passive-aggressive trash-talking can be spent doing things that’ll make her even more popular! Like, um, anything that doesn’t involve her shaving her arms in the bath. Because, actually, that almost made us throw up. Current Big Brother betting odds – 25/1

Rachel – Unlike many of this year’s Big Brother inmates, who are mainly all deathly-dull and arseholes, Rachel is deathly dull and lovely, which explains her constant position at the head of Big Brother’s second division. People seem to dislike Rachel, but we don’t know why – she literally doesn’t do enough to deserve hatred; or any emotion, for that matter. All she seems to do is wander around the house, flip-flopping between one well-mannered catch-all opinion and another, offending nobody and being nice. It’s boring, yes, but evicting Rachel would be like killing Bambi. Current Big Brother betting odds – 16/1

Mikey – Mikey! The man who was originally the favourite to win Big Brother is now nowhere near the top of the Big Brother betting odds. This is a first, people – a disabled person who might not win Big Brother. Wow, he must really be a bastard. However, don’t be surprised if Mikey takes another sudden lurch towards the top three in the weeks to come – now he hasn’t got Mario constantly smothering him with condescension all the time, perhaps Mikey can flourish and show the world what he’s really made of. Which, if recent days are any example, mostly involves feeling his way around the Big Brother house with a carrot. Weird. Current Big Brother betting odds – 10/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Dale, Darnell, Luke and Kat. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.

We didn’t see either of those two coming – we wouldn’t have predicted Jennifer’s eviction despite her gigantic unpopularity, and even though the arrival of the three new housemates had been widely reported for ages all over the place, we just didn’t expect that either. What major surprise is next? Will Mario say something that’s kind of dickish? Who knows?

We’ll be discussing the new Big Brother housemates over the course of this week’s betting odds, so we’d better get going – here are the Big Brother betting odds for Rebecca, Lisa, Maysoon, Mohamed and Stuart, with help from Paddy Power…

Rebecca – Rebecca apparently considers herself to be an ‘exhibitionist’, which is a polite way of saying that she gets her tits out and shrieks a lot. But over the last week in the Big Brother house, Rebecca has tipped over from ‘exhibitionist’ to ‘flat-out shitbag’. She’s smashed stuff, she’s chopped up people’s clothes and she’s screamed abuse at anyone who’s happened to stumble into her line of sight – all in the slightly moronic belief that it’s entertaining. And it’s clearly worked, which is why Big Brother housemates and viewers alike are desperate to evict Rebecca at the first possible opportunity. Her inevitable eviction will be bittersweet, though – true, we won’t have to listen to her deafening squawking for an hour every day, but she’ll almost definitely have her norks out in Nuts within a fortnight. Yeesh. Current Big Brother betting odds – 80/1

Lisa – Why are Lisa’s Big Brother betting odds always so terrible? We honestly can’t understand it – more than anyone, Lisa is like the Big Brother mother figure this year, and nobody seems to dislike her. And yet for some reason she doesn’t stand a hope in hell of winning Big Brother. Why is this? Is it because we as a society are systematically rejecting matriarchs as a sort of subconscious response to the current economic climate? Or is it because she’s got giant hands and actually shaves her own face? Yeah, it’s probably that. Current Big Brother betting odds – 66/1

Maysoon – Disappointed. We were promised that one of the new Big Brother girls would be the star of a famous advert. We were absolutely certain that she’d be the little dead kid from the ‘If you hit me at 40mph’ road safety adverts, but no. Instead we got Maysoon, an exhausted-looking girl who’s apparently been in a Lynx advert. We don’t think we’ve seen that particular advert because we’re sure if we’d seen Maysoon we’d have sat bolt upright and declared “Goodness! What’s an unusually tired-looking girl like that doing in a commercial for schoolboy deodorant?” Anyway, everyone hates Maysoon because, in her Big Brother intro tape, she only talked about how pretty she was, which is a) not very clever and b) not very true. Current Big Brother betting odds – 50/1

Mohamed – When Big Brother housemates survive evictions, it tends to affect their self-confidence. Bolstered by the knowledge that people actually like them, they develop a kind of cocky bulletproof swagger. Not Mohamed though. Since he was saved from Big Brother eviction a week and a bit ago, Mohamed has slowly retreated into his shell, to the point where he literally hasn’t done a single thing of any worth for a day or two now. He might have his eye on new Australian Angelina Jolie Big Brother housemate, so it’ll be fun watching him get spectacularly shot to pieces, but other than that it looks as though Mohamed is settling in for a long stint at the head-down factory. Which should be fun. Current Big Brother betting odds – 40/1

Stuart – Forget threatening to kill fellow Big Brother housemates or spitting in their faces, if there’s one thing that Big Brother should remove housemates for it should be quoting John Lennon songs in a hamfisted effort to get into a girl’s knickers. It’s been scientifically proven that anyone who didn’t growl “Oh fuck off you bright orange dickwipe” when Stuart sighed “All you need is love: John Lennon” to Jennifer last week no longer qualifies as human. Stuart is clearly a prize bellend and he deserves some sort of superficial temporary mutilation for that alone, but we’re willing to forgive him if he starts to exclusively express himself via the medium of John Lennon song titles. And we might even vote for him if he manages to interrupt a conversation with an oversincere, pseudo-profound “Woman is the nigger of the world: John Lennon.” Current Big Brother betting odds – 33/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother betting odds for Dale, Sara, Belinda, Mario and Rachel. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to Paddy Power to see the full list of Big Brother betting odds.