Stuart - HecklerSpray

Apprentice Week 9: Spunking Cash Up The Wall

August 5th, 2012 By Kris Silver

If there's one thing this nation needs more of, its smug gits in business attire spunking away money that isn't theirs whilst being rewarded with lavish amounts of champagne and opportunities to stab those who have irked them squarely between the shoulders.

Yes, that's right, it's week 9 of The Apprentice!

This week everyone's favourite job applicants have the task of buying 10 rare items with a budget of ?1500. Whoever spent the least won the task. Simples. There were obviously fines for failing to procure all the items or for not turning up to the boardroom on time, just in case anyone fancied playing fast and loose with the rules.

The Apprentice Week 3: A Baguette Of Boredom

August 5th, 2012 By Kris Silver

In the first 2 weeks of the Apprentice we saw the candidates tackle Bangers and Beaches. This week our intrepid job-seekers took on another couple of words starting with the letter b, namely baking and boredom.

Lord Sugar told his gaggle of personality deficient buzzword soundboards that they had to go about, ?turning flour into serious dough.?

What followed was an hour of television that was less interesting and engaging than waiting in line at Greggs.

Big Brother Betting Odds – Stu’s Gone, Mikey’s Still Favourite

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

Stuart finally got his “wish” this weekend and became the ninth person to be evicted from the ever dwindling Big Brother house.

The soon to be front cover model of every Heat magazine for the rest of eternity received a mixed reaction from the crowd, shrill screams of affection from the moist army of girls in the audience and begrudging boos from the boys. However, special mention has to go to Stu for his ill-advised yet hilarious attempt at crowd surfing: jump, crowd parts in confusion and hit the floor. Textbook.

Housemates fought in the battle of the century for this week’s much coveted and strategically invaluable Head of House(tm) title. Well, they stood still for around 20 minutes painted as various famous statues until it came down to Mo and Rex. Rex took the title by being the best at being still for the longest amount of time; after all he can do literally anything he sets his mind to.

So with Rex as the new head of house how does that shape the dynamics for the other housemates, will his ever changing sociopathic tendencies shine though even more, will he finally argue at Nicole long enough about NOTHING to push her before she jumps and will Mikey obey his new ginger master? As always, Paddy Power have their say on the matter.

Big Brother Betting Odds – Stu Out Tonight, Mikey Still on to Win?

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

So it’s between Stuart and Rachel tonight – hardly a heavyweight contest, is it? It should only go one way.

Stu should be climbing the steps before the night is out and here’s hoping Rex will be thoroughly confused by the whole thing.

Rachel‘s tears over the dead goldfish – and Nicole‘s laughter at her reaction showed them both up for what they are.

Okay, so tears over a dead goldfish do seem slightly over the top – but Nicole’s smug ‘she’s crying over the goldfish’, snigger, snigger signposted the bitch for what she is.

Stuart wants to go, of course, He’ll be pleased as punch if he walks tonight. But the house will have to realise that Rachel is a real contender this time around.

So, with time slowly running out – who do Paddy Power think is still in the frame for the title this year?

Big Brother Betting Odds – Has Rachel Hurt Her Chances?

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

Big Brother has got all sporty – and suddenly Stuart has woken up from his slumber. Rachel however has become all sulky and could be preparing for her final day.

But she looks odds on to be wrong – and it will be beefcake Stuart who athletically tackles those steps to freedom tomorrow, finally leaving the house and getting what he wants so badly.

It’s not just the Olympics that could be worth a flutter though, and our pals at Paddy Power have all the betting odds you would ever need for Big Brother.

Big Brother Betting Odds – Stuart’s Trying to be Fun, But Will He be Able to Stay?

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

Water, water everywhere – and Mikey’s splashing it about. Thank you Mikey for livening up the house with your small-yellow-duck spraying antics. Some excitement at last.

And thank you too Mikey for winding up Rex – someone had to but only the bald, blind, slightly mental Scot had the balls. Or the duck and the jug.

And, excuse me, why is everyone getting so het up about a little bit of water? For God’s sake Kat, lighten up you sad little odd-bod. You fell asleep, deal with it. Rex – you fell asleep too: DEAL WITH IT YOU IDIOT.

Rex got quite riled: “You’re starting to annoy people with your little duck and your jug,” he yelled. Well Rex, you’re starting to annoy me with your mouth and your clingy blonde.

But in the midst of all these watering downs and ill-feeling, at least we can rely on Paddy Power to keep us up to speed on the latest Big Brother betting odds.

Big Brother Betting Odds – Stuart to Go, Mikey to Win?

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

The housemates have spoken and it’s Stuart and Rachel up for eviction this week – let’s hope Stuart at least tries to rise to the challenge this time around.

Last week he couldn’t really be bothered – but then Dale was easy meat, it was obvious he was going from the word go.

But Rachel is a completely different opponent. She is likely to raise her game while Stuart struggles to find his.

See if Stuart can raise his game, or if the bookies think Rachel is too far ahead in public opinion by checking Paddy Power.

Big Brother Betting Odds – Newly Baldy Mikey to Win?

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

So after last week’s yawn fest, when Dale and Stuart fought out the most boring eviction ever, let’s hope some spice returns to the Big Brother house.

It was a bold move by Big Brother yesterday, who asked for the housemates to fill a jar with hair. And it was an even bolder Mikey who decided that he would go skinhead to get the task motoring.

Darnell joined him and now, here we are, with two rather strange-looking slapheads in the house, waiting for the nominations today.

We now have ten housemates left. So let’s take a look at who’s in the running for the title in 2008, with betting odds, as ever, provided by Paddy Power.

Big Brother Betting Odds – Eviction Day, Bye Bye Dale… Surely?

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

After another night of boredom, Dale and Stuart face the public with only one outcome looking possible… Bye Dale, your time in the Big Brother house is up.

They have yawned their way through the week only getting animated when nature called, yet it does seem slightly unreal that next week there will be no Dale – or, as an outside bet, no Stuart.

But with the odds changing regularly, who are we to say that Stu will remain an outside bet? To be perfectly sure, you’d have to check Paddy Power. But, to be honest, Stu will most likely remain an outside bet.

Big Brother Betting Odds – Dale Out? Most Likely, Yes

March 25th, 2009 By hecklerspray staff

No change then. Dale and Stuart are just as boring as they were yesterday – and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that…

Thank God for Rex and Nicole. At least their arguments are keeping things interesting while the dullest eviction ever is played out.

While we’re waiting to see which of the beefcakes go – the one with the stupidity and the hat, or the one with the stupidity and the shaved nipples – why not have a look at the latest eviction odds on Paddy Power.