And just when we thought Alex Reid’s career couldn’t sink any lower… he announces that he’s due to tour the country and strip off in front of hundreds of people night after night.

Fresh from getting engaged to, and talking about wanting babies with, fellow former Celebrity Big Brother alumna Chantelle Houghton, Alex has announced that he’s due to star in the play, yes someone’s actually cast him in a play, Wildboyz.

And people say that theatre is too high-brow.

Other stars of the show, about a group of lads who decide to become strippers, you know, like in that film with Robert Carlisle, will include Danny Young, who played Warren in Corrie, Marcus Patrick a.k.a. Ben Davies from Hollyoaks and Dale Howard, from… erm… Big Brother.

This has Olivier Award written all over it.

Wildboyz is due to grace the towns of Stevenage, Bradford, Leicester, Skegness, Colchester, Plymouth, Newcastle and Margate. And while there are no immediate plans for a West End run we here at hecklerspray are certain that Messrs Reid, Patrick, Young and Howard will be treading the boards at the Victoria, Apollo or Gielgud in no time.

Whether the theatre will be open that day or not will be another matter.

The show has been described, by the people who have been paid to lie about how good it is, as:

A hysterical tease from the beginning to its spectacular climax, lifting the lid on the world of celebrity, with audience participation, guaranteeing not a dry seat in the house.

Not a dry seat? Are the audience all going to void the bowels with shame after being subjected to Alex Reid’s acting talent?

That’s REALLY selling it to us.

One thing remains certain at least, even with pictures like the one below floating around, there’s not much of a chance of Alex or the rest of the Wildboyz being signed by Katie Price.

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Lindsay Lohan is set to strip off in her upcoming film.

That’s right, according to MTV UK, Lindsay Lohan is going to take all of her clothes off. She is going to get completely naked – can you imagine that??

Of course you can. Everybody can. At just the mention of her name your mind’s eye was no doubt engulfed with images of her inflated bosoms hovering around you.

She might as well just put her tits on NASDAQ. The shares would surely rocket faster than her movie career has, or her music career , for that matter.

Her list of sex-related shenanigans stretches further than her labia does during a knickerless stride out of a car door. Recently, we’ve had the sex tape rumours, less recently we had the Marylin Monroe effigies, and a whole host of other tit-related articles.

One magazine claims she will pocket $75,000 for the role in the new film – the character being a sex-mad waitress. Fair play to her we suppose – she's sticking to what she knows.

According to parallel universe theory, the world we live in is just one alongside an infinite number of other worlds. And there are no doubt worlds much fairer and kinder than our one, where she probably actually ended up a sex-mad waitress, a billion times over, and each of them a more successful attempt at a career than this one.

Read More – Lindsay Lohan Strips For Film – MTV UK