If The Empire Strikes Back had culminated with Luke Skywalker suing in a court of law to get his hand back, then that movie would have been more of a legal drama than a sci-fi fantasy. That’s just something we’ve been thinking about.

The jury could have been made up of those blue guys that play the flute and maybe a cute banana with eyeballs that roll back in his head when he’s hungry or scared. Now picture that banana on a lunch pale. Money. That’s money right there.

We’re 90% sure that’s going to be the premise for the upcoming live action Star Wars TV series. Luke finally gets his hand back in the second season and from then on he stores it safely in a split-open tauntaun. We just ruined the season-one cliff-hanger finale for you. A thousand apologies.

A cliff-hanger we won’t ruin for you is that George Lucas is currently suing some guy for making Storm-trooper armour and selling it without permission – and that guy ends up being George’s father.

Sorry. 1,000 apologies.

In the Star Wars universe, the Evil Emperor pays heed to no man. Except for maybe the Green Goblin. We heard the two of them may be dating, and with a nag like that it’s safe to assume the Emp-a-demp-a-ding-dong is paying heed all over the place. Other than that though, he pays heed to no man! He does as he will, sculpting the law to suit his evil purposes! Raising up armies and then cloning them, and then cloning the clones of them as many times as he wants to because nobody can ever stop him!

In this universe, however, things work differently. For instance, our clones here are only retarded sheep with no ability to fire lasers. Another difference is that to obtain legal ramifications on Earth we often have to endure a lengthy court process. George Lucas is learning this now. Again.

He sued Andrew Ainsworth in California a few years ago and won millions. You see Ainsworth was hired onto the original Star Wars movie to make the Stormtrooper armour. He felt it his due to continue using the molds for personal profit once the shoot was over. He also apparently thought it his due to be able to hide from California law in England, and not pay Lucas a dime. CNN fills in the details:

“Lucasfilm claims violation of copyright and trademarks by prop designer Andrew Ainsworth, who sculpted the Stormtrooper helmets for the first “Star Wars” movie in 1977. London-based Ainsworth sells replicas of the helmets and armour, which he says are made from the original molds, on his Web site for up to £1,000 ($2,000; €1,300). Lucasfilm won a $20 million (€25 million) judgement against Ainsworth in a California court in 2006, and is seeking to have it enforced in Britain.”

Ainsworth isn’t paying. He says the copyright is his.

Now you may be thinking to yourself that surely Ainsworth can’t be all that bad. You may also be thinking that the man should be allowed to enjoy the benefits of still having an original mold after all these years, and that this whole lawsuit is ridiculous. If so, perhaps you will change your mind then, when we tell you so far he’s sold to Iran, North Korea, and the raping bully from the Kite Runner.

Now you see the danger. We must keep such technology out of the hands of the nefarious.

There’s no telling what could happen should we fail.

Read More:

Brit Designer Being Sued By George Lucas Over Star Wars’ Helmets – Mirror.UK