Martha Stewart is an eerie, eerie woman. She’s got that whole, dead-eyed perfect wife thing going on… apart from, y’know, that whole Going To Prison thing. And yet, Americans lap up her brand of perfect homeliness, even though she’s quite obviously a hollow husk of a human.
And so, in a bid to prove that she is indeed a human being, her dog decided to make her bleed real human blood.
How? It didn’t didn’t decide to gently let some blood from her arm and present it to the world’s press in a neat test tube, but rather, it headbutted her so hard that she probably had a moment where she assumed that the animal kingdom was finally turning on us, ready to overthrow our sorry arses.
