Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
They always said 2012 would be the year of the Apocalypse. I just presumed that it would be signified by horses running rampant through streets and towering infernos burning everything to the ground. I didn’t think that it would end like this. But it has. People, I don’t mean to alarm, but currently the two biggest producers of porn in the world aren’t filming anything.
Eamonn Holmes is a man famed for the legendary status of his gargantuan gob.
Not only is it capable of producing more crap than his backside on a day-to-day basis, but when it isn't spewing verbal sewage it's being stuffed with all manner of deep-fried goodies.
Well, let's hope Eamonn has deep-fried his foot after he managed to, once again, get it firmly lodged between his gums during an interview on This Morning.
Cheryl Cole is not only planning a divorce, but an STI check too, as she is worried that her husband Ashley’s penis may have infested her vagina with the fanny bacteria of Brooke Healy, according to The Star.
Brooke, a model, recently claimed that the marauding Chelsea left back managed to slip one into her empty net, having told her that he doesn’t like having a goalie involved, as they ruin the feeling he gets as his ball ripples round the back of the net.
It should be said that it's never been confirmed that Ashley Cole has just the one ball.
