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Stephen King

Sometimes a book is so seminal that any talk of a sequel is shot down in a series of fan-based derogatory comments about the author wanting to suck on someone’s nipples or wanking at the altar of capitalist pigs.

As Enid Blyton could testify to if she were here today. Sometimes they work, and sometimes they are the worst thing since bread came brown.

Well Stephen King, him what wrote all those famous horror books, has unveiled a chapter of his upcoming sequel to The Shining. As we all know, The Shining is the one with the little boy who has powers, not the one with the girl who loses her loaf when she gets her first period. Or the one with the killer car.

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Stephen King and Twilight author Stephenie Meyer have got two gigantic thing in common.

Number one: their books get turned into awful, awful films. Number two, both Stephen King and Stephenie Meyer write books for 14-year-olds. True, Stephen King writes books for 14-year-old boys who smell of BO and secretly want to machinegun their school, while Stephenie Meyer writes books for 14-year-old girls who can’t spell and wet themselves every time they think of Robert Pattinson. But it’s true.

So you’d think that Stephen King and Stephenie Meyer would get along, wouldn’t you? Wrong – Stephen King hates Stephenie Meyer rotten.

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