There was another Celebrity Big Brother double eviction on Friday night, with Sisqo and Stephen Baldwin getting the chop.
Frankly we’re heartbroken. We had high hopes that Stephen Baldwin would end up winning Celebrity Big Brother. He was Celebrity Big Brother‘s Jedward. He could have gone on to release a cover of Ice Ice Baby with Vanilla Ice had he won. But no, you people made sure that would never happen. You idiots.
Still, this is the final week of Celebrity Big Brother and, like it or not, someone’s got to win. Let’s find out who it’ll be…
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Oh thank God for that. This time last week it looked as if Celebrity Big Brother had got its mojo back.
It hadn’t, of course. Now it’s clear that the closest thing to a celebrity in the Celebrity Big Brother this year is a woman who was on Coronation Street for a short amount of time a year ago, the audience has fallen away again, with people only tuning in out of a mixture of snow-induced tedium and profound self-loathing.
However, Celebrity Big Brother is still going – with Heidi Fleiss, Katia Ivanova and Lady Sovereign first up for eviction – so we’d better see how all the housemates are doing, right? Hooray for everything…
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Celebrity Big Brother is here again, for the very last time. Oh, at least try to look excited, would you?
Because when it’s gone, it’s gone for good. And where will you get to see barely-famous Z-listers debasing themselves in a series of horrific ways for a comparatively meagre amount of cash when it’s over? What? Hotel Babylon? Oh.
But anyway, as is our wont, we’ll be dipping in and out of Celebrity Big Brother over the next few weeks to keep you up to date about whatever dreary self-promoting nonsense the housemates happen to be getting up to. But before that, let’s look at this year’s collection of Celebrity Big Brother subnormals, shall we?
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