Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Carrie Fisher is an American actress best known for playing Princess Laya in Star Wars. Her final appearance in the franchise was Star Wars: The Last Jedi. What a way to end an amazing career.
Known for her drug usage, toilet humor, and history of mental illness, she will all be remembered in our hearts as the bikini slave girl. Hundreds of millions of male virgins mourned their loss of their first true love that would never come to be.
When thinking about Felicity Jones, laziness is not a word that easily comes to mind. The young, attractive celebrity has more work than any Hollywood star has a right to claim.
From Ron Howard’s Inferno to J.A. Bayona’s A Monster Calls, her popularity continues to grow among numerous appreciative fans. In 2016, she was selected to play the lead role of Jyn Erso in Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, which was the second highest grossing film in 2016.
Mere hours ago I posted part 2 of a series of GIFs representing how I’ve been handling the shit show that is 2016. When I posted that blog this morning I figured: there are only four days left to this shit year, what other major pop culture/global tragedies could even happen?
To that, 2016 said: Ha! Screw you, bitch, I’m taking Princess Leia. Which it then did. I am incredibly, INCREDIBLY sad to report that at the young age of 60, the iconic Carrie Fisher has passed away.
Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley is an English actress known for her role as Rey in the Star Wars sequel trilogy. She was really good in the films and has a bright future ahead. Which is why we need to see her nude. Now. Immediately.
Like many others, we don’t think she has an amazingly feminine body. It’s certainly not super curvy and the Instagram crowd has blasted her for being too thin (lol). Not that she cares, really. She’s more famous than you. Richer. And prettier.
The first month of 2015 has almost come to an end, and so far it’s been moderately eventful (emphasis on moderate). In the world of celebrity, it’s hard to predict what the?big stories and scandals of the year are going to be, but there are always a few things we know are going to happen that we can look forward to.
Here’s a countdown of 10 pop culturally relevant?things you can potentially get?jazzed about in 2015, because it’s always nice to have something to look forward to, even if it is Kim Kardashian’s?book of selifes.
So Benedict Cumberbatch is maybe going to be in the new Star Wars movie, which means I might actually have to go see it. Right now there are only rumors, and I’m inclined not to believe them only because it would be weird to cast the villain from Star Trek in a Star Wars movie. (Probably no more weird than the franchises having the same director though, so… yeah.)?
But does anyone actually want more Star Wars movies to happen? From what I read in Simon Pegg’s book, plus pretty much all the reviews, the new ones were not that great or well-received.
Today, I fell madly in?love with Patton Oswalt. He has long been one of my favorite comedians, and his sincere and touching words following Monday’s bombing in Boston?had him on my mind.?Then, just a few hours ago, he?posted?a video outtake from his upcoming appearance on Parks and Recreation … and he made my life complete. It’s magic from start to finish.
In the video, Patton plays a character?attempting to block a city council vote by?filibuster, and he does so by outlining,?in remarkable detail, his vision for a Star Wars sequel.?It’s?eight-plus minutes of?perfect, fast-paced nerd-speak … part college lecturer, part complete lunatic … showcasing an insane, encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars, Avengers, and X-Men.
America used to be an optimistic place. We were certain that things would get better if we only put in the effort. Though Y2K was looming and the country would soon be ruled by the runt of the litter in George Bush Sr’s chimpanzee pen, there was a sense that everything was gonna be alright. Plus, new Star Wars movies were on the horizon. Remember the first three Star Wars? Those were awesome.?
How wrong we were to trust in the positive nature of humanity.
Society has a fascination with old people doing stuff that they shouldn’t. It’s a silly obsession, which makes the talk of Harrison Ford possibly returning to star in future Star Wars movies silly. It, by all means, shouldn’t happen.
Comedy gold is created when you take a woman whose limbs are made of dust and medical miracles, and fill her mouth with jokes about the vagina. The greatest comic of all time features an aged Batman coming out of retirement to taunt death and then get the crap knocked out of him. And theatres are filled when an action star returns to make sure that the grudge against his own joints is settled.
On Monday, for a mere $4.05 billion, Disney purchased the hearts and souls of millions of rabid middle-aged nerds with the promise of?more Star Wars movies. Three more in fact … a whole new trilogy?… which means nearly a decade of?speculation and?squeamish anticipation,?followed by?eventual disappointment, confusion, and regret.
