Articles tagged with: Star Trek
When you invite William Shatner to your wedding, you only give yourself two possible outcomes. The first outcome involves him trying to convince the big, white cake he really is a lawyer - and that he absolutely understands all the legal jargon and everything - for the complete duration of your first dance. The second possible outcome involves him crashing a life-size mock-up of the Starship Enterprise through the beautiful gazebo your grandfather lovingly finished building for you the day before his last heart attack. We heard that last one he actually did to Leonard Nemoy. Seriously - there were tractor beam parts all over the roof, gutters, guest cars and lawn. This is why, we assume, Bill Shatner was not invited to Helmsman Sulu's big gay history-book wedding. Shatner doesn't understand this though, and he seems kinda pissed about his lack of an invite.
They are the babes we'd all like to boldly go with – the hottest women to ever appear in Star Trek. But compiling a list of the sexiest ever was never going to be easy. With all its different incarnations and the sheer volume of life-forms Captain Kirk alone has sullied, it's certainly a tough job. But Hecklerspray has never been one to shirk a challenge and is prepared to risk the wrath of Trekkies across the world by compiling a list of lovelies that are the envy of the galaxy. And we are pretty happy with the results. Put it this way, we'd certainly love to get our hands on their tricorders. However, we are sure you will have your own suggestions. As always, please let us know of any glaring omissions – not that you need any encouragement, you pedantic, miserable bastards. And before you ask, we have not included the upcoming Star Trek film, which is due to be released next year. So the names Zoe Saldana and Jennifer Morrison have not been added to the list this time, but would certainly come into contention next time if we decided to do this list again. Anyway, set your phasers to stun and enjoy.
The forthcoming JJ Abrams-helmed Star Trek movie is one of the most breathlessly-anticipated movies for a long time, especially by people waiting to see if it can out-bad the one about Captain Kirk wanking around with some whales.
And the latest Star Trek-related news suggests that it might just be able to, thanks to another piece of wayward casting. It's been announced that, as well as the bloke from Heroes, one of Harold and Kumar and Simon Pegg, Star Trek will also star Winona Ryder as Spock's Vulcan mother. What Winona Ryder will actually do in Star Trek remains to be seen, although it's probably safe to say that there's going to be a subplot where Spock experiences all sorts of emotionally-conflicting erotic thoughts about his own mother. Well, he is part-human, after all.
William Shatner brings a sparkle of class to whatever he touches, whether it's TV work, movies or inexplicable covers of Elton John songs sung between three different William Shatners - but the new Star Trek movie won't see any of that.
And that's because William Shatner won't be in the new Star Trek movie. Although he was rumoured to have a cameo in the movie alongside Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner has revealed that meetings with the new Star Trek director JJ Abrams were unsuccessful and the movie will go ahead sans Shatner. And now William Shatner can't stop bitching about the Star Trek snub. But can you blame him? After all, we'd be bitter if our derided egomaniacal role in a TV show that hasn't been made for almost 40 years wasn't reprised in a movie that's set several years before the TV show we starred in 40 years ago, too. Or something. Oh look, we've confused ourselves now.
