Denise Richards is a bit of a card, isn’t she? She’s been beaten, humiliated, stunned, stalked and shattered by the ongoing revelations about ex-husband Charlie “He’s Actually An Estevez” Sheen but admits that, despite their nasty break-up and custody battle – she’d marry the tiresome bell-end all over again.
It is thought that Richards has become so terrified of slipping into obscurity that she has actually considered taking on a completely fictional split-personality; just like her ex-husband.
When asked what this second identity might be, a source close to the star merely shrugged his shoulders and asked who she was. He had never heard of her. All the more reason to do get working on Denise Richards 2: Attack of Denise Richards.
Read More >>>
Cuh! When we’re rude to people, everyone berates us and says we’re shallow and lonely. While that may be true, we don’t see people having a go at Elizabeth Taylor who treated marriage like bubblegum, hung around with Michael Jackson and, even in death, kept everyone waiting at her funeral.
We suppose that everyone thinks that this is all very funny, prompting people to roll their eyes and hoot in unison about how wacky she was!
It’s not funny. It’s downright rude. People are trying to grieve properly and she’s there, even in ghost form, pissing people around.
Read More >>>
One of the most gigantic movie stars of all-time, Elizabeth Taylor, has died in Los Angeles at the age of 79 despite looking much, much older. Taylor lived her whole life in the spotlight, of course, looking like she’d been shot with Homer Simpson’s make-up gun in later years.
Of course, we’re rather sad that the Oscar-winning actress has finally shuffled off her mortal coil after a long history of bad health and heart problems, but like all sneering pricks, we’re prone to making crass jokes instead of confronting our grief about someone we’ve never met.
It goes without saying that the movie buffs will be saddened by this news and fondly remember some of her finer roles, leaving the huge public outpourings of grief to the Michael Jackson fans. You just watch.
Read More >>>
Hollywood is stupid and filled with stupid people. Basically, actors strive to hone their art all their lives to deliver realistic and devastating portrayals of real people… real people they’ve not had to deal with for many years… and shed their personality to morph into someone else.
And for what? Well, aside from the millions they get paid, it seems to be all in the name of getting your name written on the floor. How magical!
The latest thesp to get their name situated in a place where dogs can shit on it is Gwyneth Paltrow who now has her name on a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Read More >>>
What children need when coming into this world is stability, warmth, and most importantly, a great big butt to spill out of when the doctor comes a’callin’.
After all, the the more exit room the less likely the baby is to realise that that’s exactly what a fart must feel like. In a world where children’s fart sympathy is starting to cause so much unrest, we really can’t stress big-birthing-butt importance enough.
Speaking of which – a Kardashian is stuffed with child, and we don’t mean their mother again! Read More >>>
When Hecklerspray finally leaves this mortal realm it’ll probably be in a hail of gunfire as we bravely rescue babies from poor people who can’t afford them anyway.
Strange they could afford all those bullets though.
Still, don’t call us heroes. It’s not anything you wouldn’t do if put in the same situation. Unless of course you wouldn’t – in which case we’d be totally fine with the ‘hero’ tag. In fact, you can even build us a monument.
Get us one better than George Harrison‘s though, won’t you? We couldn’t bear to see our sweet memory trampled so callously under-foot.
Read More >>>
Without the Munchkins, The Wizard Of Oz would have been totally different – a story about a young girl in a strange magical land instead of a story about a young girl in a strange magical land where a bunch of midgets do a dance at the end.
And, finally, the Munchkins have got their recognition – 68 years after The Wizard Of Oz was released, the Munchkins have finally got a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Just one star, mind you, between 124 Munchkins – or, if you only want to dismiss the 117 Munchkins that died, one star between seven. Of course, the Munchkins weren't just given a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame for The Wizard Of Oz, it was also because of their profound influence on cinema. If it weren't for the Munchkins, you see, then the makers of Little Man would have never written a scene where a midget tries to put his penis into his adopted mother's mouth. On behalf of Planet Earth, Munchkins, we thank you.
Read More >>>
Without the Munchkins, The Wizard Of Oz would have been totally different - a story about a young girl in a strange magical land instead of a story about a young girl in a strange magical land where a bunch of midgets do a dance at the end.
And, finally, the Munchkins have got their recognition - 68 years after The Wizard Of Oz was released, the Munchkins have finally got a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Just one star, mind you, between 124 Munchkins - or, if you only want to dismiss the 117 Munchkins that died, one star between seven. Of course, the Munchkins weren't just given a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame for The Wizard Of Oz, it was also because of their profound influence on cinema. If it weren't for the Munchkins, you see, then the makers of Little Man would have never written a scene where a midget tries to put his penis into his adopted mother's mouth. On behalf of Planet Earth, Munchkins, we thank you.
