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Doug Stanhope DVD review – Before Turning The Gun On Himself

August 6th, 2012 By hecklerspray staff

Doug Stanhope needs a new word – laughter doesn’t quite cover the reaction to Doug’s material. It’s a mish mash of laughing, and cringing at something you know deep in your gut you should be offended by.

Don’t get us wrong, Doug is no Bernard Manning – he knows exactly what he’s doing, and there’s no malice behind his words (with some exceptions, usually when discussing celebrity rehab shrinks). He uses the word faggot freely, yet is renowned for his support of the homosexual lifestyle (fucking without breeding, in his opinion, is the perfect solution to an overpopulated world).

Even then, some of his material is so dark, that you feel a shudder run through you each time you laugh. Are you laughing because he’s funny, or because he’s touched on something so abhorrent, that if you don’t laugh your mind will melt through your eyes?

Soap Spoilers! Murder! MRI Scans! Nits!

August 5th, 2012 By Joanna Bolouri

Hello Soap Fans! Have a good weekend? Did you spend hours licking that signed poster of Harold Bishop, while everyone else actually left their bedrooms and?socialised? Thought so, LOSERS!! Still, you’re our losers and we know how important this kak is to you, so let’s take a look at what’s happening in Soapland this week, you lonely, lonely people.

Eastenders first as usual, where Ben confesses to Ian that his statement to the police about Phil ?was a load of old crap but it’s OK because everyone hates Phil anyway and he’s doing the world a favour by keeping his screen time to a minimum.

After seeing that someone has kicked the smile right off Phil’s face in prison, Ian?decides to grass Ben up to that police woman Marsden who has never actually gathered a shred of evidence on her own. Ben gets arrested, thinks Heather has grassed him up and apparently has a ‘terrible fight’ with Heather, which we all know is code for ‘stabs her until she is dead.‘ ?This has been a long time coming and we cannot wait.

A Little Story About Interviewing Andy Parsons, Being Gruntled And Failing Technology

December 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Here at hecklerspray, we like to interview people. It gives us the opportunity to show celebrities that we have the temerity to be more intelligent than they think we are and, of course, it gives us a chance to show you readers that we have the gall to be rude to someone’s face.

There’s no hiding behind a computer screen here.

And so, we got the chance to interview Andy Parsons – you’ll know him as the bloke with the baldy heid from Mock The Week won’t you? Well. We ballsed up.

Jimmy Carr Provokes Offence Article (Includes People You Like More Than Jimmy Carr)

November 25th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

You know how people sit around talking? They sit around and talk about all manner of things. Sometimes they know what they’re talking about. Sometimes not. Sometimes, people say really appalling things that would make someone sound like a monster, if taken out of context. Some people are just dull.

Well, comedians are no different. Not that they care. They’re hired to make people laugh in any way possible. Some tread an offensive line. Some are right-on. Some are aware that they’ll never make anyone laugh as hard as someone accidentally doing a particularly angry fart in a public place.

And so, Jimmy Carr has come forward to talk about his joke about people with Down Syndrome.

Russell Howard Breaks His Fingers Which Is Genuinely Good News

November 16th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Russell Howard must have a terrible time with the ladies, what with him constantly displaying a wandering eye. Have you noticed how it mooches around his skull like a beetle tied to a six inch nail?

Aside from his funny eye and the fact that he’s about as funny as finding a shallow grave, Russell has had a slice of bad news while, ironically, filming his woeful ‘Good News’ show.

Basically, he was taken to hospital last night after breaking fingers. We were hoping that the mafia did it, but sadly, he was horsing around on a chair, rather than cowering under the threat of extermination.

People Irritated That Frankie Boyle Is So Good At Trolling Them With Josie Long Rape Jape

October 24th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember when you lot liked Frankie Boyle? Remember when you watched Mock The Week and thought it was ‘alright’? Remember when you realised how awful it was? Remember when Boyle turned into a poor man’s Jerry Sadowitz/post-modern Roy Chubby Brown?

Of course you do. You’re still supremely sore about it. You’re irked and wounded because someone you once liked has gone so very, very shit.

And worse still, you’re irritated because Boyle is so very good at winding you up. That’s exactly what he’s doing right now, by wishing a raping on comedians Josie Long and Richard Herring. God, he’s a twitter outrage dream isn’t he?

Interviewing Jon Richardson Because He’s Now A Team Captain On 8 Out Of 10 Cats

August 7th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

A new series of 8 Out Of 10 Cats starts on Channel 4 tonight and there’s a new team captain on the show. And that new team captain is Jon Richardson who you might recognise as a stand-up comedian or Him Off That Radio Show.

He’s the cheeriest manic depressive you’ll ever meet (worryingly so – he seems like he could go postal at any minute) and we wanted to pick at his worried brains to see what was going on in there.

And so, we caught up with him for a chat about being miserable, it being illegal to have a million pounds in the bank and the fact that he’d like to be sacked from 8 Out Of 10 Cats as quickly as possible.

Jennifer Aniston: Queen Of Anti-News

May 20th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

The fun thing about celebrities is that they’re always allegedly doing stuff. They’re allegedly always snorting lines of good quality drugs, reportedly getting hammered and punching their wives or allegedly having an affair with a woman on twitter and knocking up quick superinjunctions.

However, when it comes to Jennifer Aniston, she’s always allegedly doing absolutely nothing. She just stands there, like a hatstand, crying about her dead dog.

And now, the latest thing Aniston isn’t doing is dating some no-mark called Justin Theroux. Her representative is going around quashing the rumours and denying the chance of any sort of romantic link, meaning that they’re the busy person in Hollywood for simply saying “Nope, nothing to see here” all the time.

Jennifer Aniston’s Dog Is Now Completely Dead

May 17th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

In news that will rock with world, as we saw when Michael Jackson decided to have too much Propofol, it brings us absolutely no pleasure to tell you that Norman, Jennifer Aniston’s Welsh corgi-terrier mix, has died at the age of 15. He is survived by around half-a-dozen other Welsh corgi-terrier mixes from the same litter.

The dog, said to be behind the split of Aniston and Brad Pitt, accompanied the actress on location and everywhere else, and was noted for his penchant for bitches and suffered from an alcohol problem for many years.

In recent years, Norman has had complications in his constitution thank to his hell-raising and the onset of old age.

Jennifer Aniston To Get Naked In New Film Thanks To Waning Fame

May 13th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

When fame starts to desert you and the good scripts stop landing on the desk of your agent, if you’re a glamorous Hollywood lady, there’s only one thing left to do – and that’s to unleash your gym-honed breasts on an unsuspecting public.

And after years and years of doing tasteful/tame nude photoshoots and having the most erect nipples in sitcom history, Jennifer Aniston is doing exactly that in new comedy flick, Horrible Bosses.

Not only that, but she’s going to fellate some fruit as well, just so you onanists can really pound the meat if 42 year old women are your thing.