Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Product placement has become the bane of moviegoers lives. Nowadays you’re never sure if what you’re seeing is the choice of the director, or of the producer or the marketing girl named Joan who’s managed to wangle a deal with Motorola to make sure that the movie star’s mobile phone is provided by the company.
Sadly, that’s how our world is nowadays. We’re supercapitalist in every way, even if it means compromising the quality of movies. And James Bond is no different.
Scientology hasn’t really taken off around the world. That’s because, despite having a foot in the world of entertainment, it really lacks any semblance of humour. Effectively, Scientologists are humour vacuums.
Have you seen they way they’re absolutely unhappy to talk about their religion? Surely you gotta face some persecution to be a proper religious person, right? It’s all about getting called an idiot and seeking strength from your god… or in the case on Scientology followers, A.L.F. or whatever it is they pray to/obtain people’s PIN numbers for.
Of course, anyone who mocks them incurs immediate wrath. So you can imagine that they’re not too thrilled with the off-hand way in which South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone dealt with them. As a result, one former member of the cult (don’t worry about the ‘cult’ tag – we think Christianity is a stupid cult too) says that the church sent someone to spy on them.
Ridiculously dressed designer, John Galliano, has been found guilty of racist and anti-Semitic behaviour by a Paris court today, which means you can’t go around shouting your mouth off about Jews. Okay?
Johnny G was facing charges of “casting public insults based on origin, religious affiliation, race or ethnicity” by French authorities and was ordered to court today to pay a total fine of 17,500 euros.
However, he won’t be getting sexually assaulted in the prison showers.
What’s the fashion world’s problem with Jews? Seriously. John Galliano recently went nutso about our Jewish cousins, and now, people are accusing the ghost of Coco Chanel of being a massive Jew hater.
See, there’s this book out which points at the fashion legend while mouthing the words “Nazi sympathiser”.
In fact, it’s suggested that she wasn’t so much sympathetic, but actually a proper Nazi, collaborating with them during World War II as a spy code-named “Westminster.” So that means, by our reckoning, that if you have Chanel anything, you may as well go and defecate in a Synagogue during Shabbat.
You know what movie we’d love to see? A movie starring the pointless one from Hancock and the pointless one from Lions For Lambs.
And guess what? That movie is being made. According to reports, Charlize Theron and Tom Cruise are set to team up for an adaptation of French movie The Tourist, with a script written by Oscar-winning writer Julian Fellowes.
Without knowing too much about The Tourist, it’s safe to say that Tom Cruise is still after that Oscar. It seems clear to us that Tom is only making the movie to glean Oscar-winning tips from Fellowes and Theron, and then put them to use in his next movie – which we’re expecting to be about a dirty-faced, slightly disfigured woman played by Tom Cruise who talks in lots of half sentences over himself all the time.
It’s a wonder Angelina Jolie still has time for movies these days, what with her off saving the world, donating to charity and stealing all the kids from Africa.
But apparently she of the lips fame does have time – not only time, but she also has the inclination to take roles that were initially meant for one Tom Cruise. Not content with stealing all the babies from the birthplace of humanity, it would seem that Angelina Jolie also wants to steal roles from Scientologists.
At least, that’s what it looks like on current evidence.
The long-touted but never actually made Edwin A. Salt is reportedly the film that Jolie will be taking the lead role in, with the title receiving a change as we would all expect. Edwina A. Salt doesn’t sound that good, mind, so hopefully they’ll put more thought into it than we have.
