Naomi Campbell has escaped serious punishment for her spazzy airport tantrum last week, possibly because the police know that no prison's puny metal bars can contain a force of nature that terrifying.

Instead, Naomi Campbell has walked away with nothing more than a caution - the slap on the wrist usually doled out to naughty schoolboys.

But a punishment is a punishment, and Naomi Campbell will no doubt learn some very important lessons on to become a better person from it. Or she'll try and genetically bind her DNA with that of a dilophosaurus so that the next time she spits at a policemen her acidic saliva will melt his eyes and leave him vulnerable enough for her to slash open his belly with her ferocious talons. Which is probably more likely.