Spider-Man 4 To Be Written By A Thundering Intellectual Fact: Spider-Man 3 was stupid - so stupid that if you put a hot iron in its hand and made a telephone noise it'd burn its own ear off. But don't think that Sam Raimi hasn't learnt his lesson. He's decided to make Spider-Man 4 intimidatingly cerebral in its complex exploration of themes like Oedipal desire, quantum immortality and the ethical ambiguity of human interpretations of good and evil. Well, that's what we assume, anyway. It's been announced that the script for Spider-Man 4 will be penned by Pulitzer Prize winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire. Great! We loved his play Rabbit Hole - especially the scene where, after wrestling with grief following the accidental death of her four-year-old son, the lead character dances the Twist with Kirsten Dunst, cooks some eggs and then pulls a funny face.

Spider-Man 4 & 5: Kirsten Dunst Checks Out? If the failings of Spider-Man 3 could be summed up in two words, they'd be 'Kirsten Dunst' - five words and it'd be 'Kirsten Dunst and everything else.' So imagine what the forthcoming Spider-Man 4 and Spider-Man 5 movies would be like without Kirsten Dust's anemic wailing and egg-based dance routines. You're imagining they'd be quite good, aren't you. Well, you're in luck, because Spider-Man director Sam Raimi is giving off the impression that Kirsten Dunst won't feature in either of the two new movies. Actually, we should be a bit more accurate - Sam Raimi implied that Kirsten Dunst's character Mary-Jane wouldn't be in the new Spider-Man movies. He also hinted that one of the new Spider-Man villains could be a vicious scaly reptilian humanoid, though, so if that doesn't warrant a callback for Kirsten Dunst then nothing will.

WEBTHUMP! The internet in digest form. But with less pornography, sadly. 5 - Busuu.com - it's like Facebook but you learn a new language doing it rather than get publicly ridiculed for the way you're beginning to resemble members of bad 1990s American jam bands. So it's better - Busuu 4 - It's a hamster that looks like a cake. And it looks delicious, which is probably counterproductive - ...

Spider-Man 4 Coming To Ruin Your 2011

There are sequels that nobody wants to see and then there are sequels that nobody wants to see - and Spider-Man 4 is one of those sequels.

Despite Tobey Maguire not really wanting to make Spider-Man 4, Sam Raimi not really wanting to make Spider-Man 4 and an entire planet of people who've had enough time and money stolen already not wanting to see Spider-Man 4, Producer Laura Ziskin has announced that Spider-Man 4 will be released in May 2011.

Awful news, we know. But on the plus side Spider-Man 4 can't be any worse than Spider-Man 3 - that is unless someone decides to give Spider-Man a crime-fighting Scrappy-Doo style son and they go into space together to save the world from global warming and... no, wait, then it'd still be better than Spider-Man 3. No omelette scenes, you see.