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Spice Girls

Spice Girls Fight Over Unreleased Material (Cut Your Ears Off As A Precaution)

by Mof Gimmers

Remember the Spice Girls? Of course you do! They had roughly three half decent pop songs, with the rest being derivative, throwaway trash. Each member had their own unique personality trait foisted upon them, which of course, slowly dissolved to reveal personalities often far uglier. There was Scary Spice, who became Vaguely Controlling, Eddie Murphy [...]

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Geri Halliwell! Set For Death Defying Feats Of Comebackery!

by Steve Charnock

Everyone’s sixth favourite Spice Girl, Jerry Halliwell is set for an AMAZING solo comeback. The singer, famous for her patriotically flag-based dresses and impressively jarring personality has SENSATIONALLY revealed that she’s started plans to record her FOURTH album. Red-Head Spice, as she was known in her ‘Spice’ Girls days, plans to release the follow-up to [...]

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The Spice Girls 3.0 Coming To Upset Your Ears

by Matthew Laidlow

In girl band land right now, there isn’t much to make you want to don your favourite purple dress and open-toed sandals. Girls Aloud are on a permanent break with Cheryl Cole thieving the limelight every time a gust of wind blows her over. There was the short lived Girls Can’t Catch who sang a [...]

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The Spice Girls To Disappointingly Open 2012 Olympics

by Matthew Laidlow

When London was announced as the host city for the 2012 Olympics, many concerns immediately started swirling around our heads. Chief of which was how ready the city would be. Frankly, we need to see a constructed swimming pool filled with water so the likes of Michael Phelps don’t have to race against each other [...]

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WEBTHUMP! Friday 29 May 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – A list of prequel ideas that are supposed to be rubbish but we would happily watch – Cracked 9 – And the award for worst woman in the entire world goes to… Mosnews 8 – Several reasons why you shouldn’t name a year in your futuristic movie – io9 7 – Two Spice [...]

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Victoria Beckham Quits Singing, Rejoice Now!

by Matthew Laidlow

Apart from hecklerspray’s snazzy new makeover which will no doubt implode into a catastrophic mess of bile and tears, there hasn’t been much to look forward to lately.

Think about it, everyone has either read the spoilers online for Lost or had a moronic friend tell them what’s happened.

The only things worth happening are events we have to all pray for. Such as Bono losing his voice and Jordan being abducted by aliens. Something we hadn’t banked on happening was former Spice Girl and professional twiglet Victoria Beckham quitting music. And she says it’s forever!

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There Is A God: Spice Girls To Stop Inflicting Their Whining On Us All

by Matthew Laidlow

We’ll tell you what we want, what we really really want. No, honestly, we’ll tell you want we want, what we really really want. And, it’s not a zigga zig ah – whatever that is.

Instead, it’s to eradicate all the reunion bands of the face of the earth. Because, let’s face it, once was bad enough – a second helping of nostalgic pop is definitely too much to handle. We are pleased to say that one such band who reformed have decided to call it a day. Again. You can now safely go around your daily business quite happily knowing that The Spice Girls aren’t going to potentially gig in your city.

That’s correct – following news that the Spice Girls are cutting their world tour short because they hate each other, Geri Halliwell has said that they’ll never reform again. Ever.

We’ll tell you what we want, what we really really want. No, honestly, we’ll tell you want we want, what we really really want. And, it’s not a zigga zig ah – whatever that is. Instead, it’s to eradicate all the reunion bands of the face of the earth. Because, let's face it, once was bad enough - a second helping of nostalgic pop is definitely too much to handle. We are pleased to say that one such band who reformed have decided to call it a day. Again. You can now safely go around your daily business quite happily knowing that The Spice Girls aren’t going to potentially gig in your city. That's correct - following news that the Spice Girls are cutting their world tour short because they hate each other, Geri Halliwell has said that they'll never reform again. Ever.
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Spice Girls Put Themselves Out Of Their Misery

by Stuart Heritage

First we’ll hit you with the good news – the Spice Girls have cut their world tour short and split up.

And now for the bad news – the Spice Girls split means we’re going to have to put up with five cack-handed Spice Girls solo careers again instead of one big group career that’s easy to ignore.

Which we suppose means that we’ll never hear from Geri Halliwell again. Maybe this is for the best after all.

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The Spice Girls Get Bewilderingly Rich

by Stuart Heritage

The Spice Girls reunion has been rubbish – singles have tanked, albums have underperformed nobody seems to care about their live show whatsoever.

But somehow, despite all that, the Spice Girls have managed to make £10 million from their string of concerts at the O2. That’s £10 million each, by the way.

And if we were the Spice Girls’ accountants, we’d recommend that they should be prudent with this new windfall because, treated sensibly, it could be enough for them to never work again. Basically we want the Spice Girls to never work again.

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Spice Girls Drag Their Kids Onstage

by Stuart Heritage

The Spice Girls gave something rather special to their audience this week – no, Geri Halliwell didn’t do the decent thing and cover herself up for once, but the Spice Girls all brought their children onstage.

During their performance of Mama at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday night, it’s been reported that most of the Spice Girls brought their children onstage to say hello to the thousands of buyerless eBay touts who make up their audience these days. In the middle of the song Victoria Beckham, Mel B and Emma Bunton all brought their kids out on stage. In fact, the only Spice Girl mother not to introduce her child to the audience was Geri Halliwell, for fear that the effect of 20,000 people all derisively going “pffft” at the same time after hearing the name Bluebell Madonna would knock over a lighting rig or flip the stage upside down or something.

The Spice Girls gave something rather special to their audience this week - no, Geri Halliwell didn't do the decent thing and cover herself up for once, but the Spice Girls all brought their children onstage. During their performance of Mama at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday night, it's been reported that most of the Spice Girls brought their children onstage to say hello to the thousands of buyerless eBay touts who make up their audience these days. In the middle of the song Victoria Beckham, Mel B and Emma Bunton all brought their kids out on stage. In fact, the only Spice Girl mother not to introduce her child to the audience was Geri Halliwell, for fear that the effect of 20,000 people all derisively going "pffft" at the same time after hearing the name Bluebell Madonna would knock over a lighting rig or flip the stage upside down or something.
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