Articles tagged with: Spice Girls
When London was announced as the host city for the 2012 Olympics, many concerns immediately started swirling around our heads. Chief of which was how ready the city would be. Frankly, we need to see a constructed swimming pool filled with water so the likes of Michael Phelps don’t have to race against each other in the sewage-infested River Thames. But that's not all. There's also the question of whether Boris Johnston will set himself on fire or not. But mainly we're worried about following China's $100 million opening ceremony. How can we Brits compete? Chas n’ Dave have now split up, which ballsed up Plan A, but there's always Plan B - giving The Spice Girls some work again.
Apart from hecklerspray’s snazzy new makeover which will no doubt implode into a catastrophic mess of bile and tears, there hasn’t been much to look forward to lately. Think about it, everyone has either read the spoilers online for Lost or had a moronic friend tell them what’s happened. The only things worth happening are events we have to all pray for. Such as Bono losing his voice and Jordan being abducted by aliens. Something we hadn’t banked on happening was former Spice Girl and professional twiglet Victoria Beckham quitting music. And she says it's forever!
We’ll tell you what we want, what we really really want. No, honestly, we’ll tell you want we want, what we really really want. And, it’s not a zigga zig ah – whatever that is.
Instead, it’s to eradicate all the reunion bands of the face of the earth. Because, let's face it, once was bad enough - a second helping of nostalgic pop is definitely too much to handle. We are pleased to say that one such band who reformed have decided to call it a day. Again. You can now safely go around your daily business quite happily knowing that The Spice Girls aren’t going to potentially gig in your city.
That's correct - following news that the Spice Girls are cutting their world tour short because they hate each other, Geri Halliwell has said that they'll never reform again. Ever.
First we'll hit you with the good news - the Spice Girls have cut their world tour short and split up.
And now for the bad news - the Spice Girls split means we're going to have to put up with five cack-handed Spice Girls solo careers again instead of one big group career that's easy to ignore.
Which we suppose means that we'll never hear from Geri Halliwell again. Maybe this is for the best after all.
The Spice Girls reunion has been rubbish - singles have tanked, albums have underperformed and nobody seems to care about their live show whatsoever.
But somehow, despite all that, the Spice Girls have managed to make £10 million from their string of concerts at the O2. That's £10 million each, by the way.
And if we were the Spice Girls' accountants, we'd recommend that they should be prudent with this new windfall because, treated sensibly, it could be enough for them to never work again. Basically, we want the Spice Girls to never work again.
The Spice Girls gave something rather special to their audience this week - no, Geri Halliwell didn't do the decent thing and cover herself up for once, but the Spice Girls all brought their children onstage.
During their performance of Mama at the O2 arena in London on Tuesday night, it's been reported that most of the Spice Girls brought their children onstage to say hello to the thousands of buyerless eBay touts who make up their audience these days. In the middle of the song Victoria Beckham, Mel B and Emma Bunton all brought their kids out on stage. In fact, the only Spice Girl mother not to introduce her child to the audience was Geri Halliwell, for fear that the effect of 20,000 people all derisively going "pffft" at the same time after hearing the name Bluebell Madonna would knock over a lighting rig or flip the stage upside down or something.
As if the Spice Girls reunion wasn't going badly enough already, now Emma Bunton has fallen over, knackered her ankle and has to hobble around on crutches.
It's been reported that Emma Bunton - also known as Infantile Spice by her young fans - stacked it onstage during a Spice Girls show in Las Vegas and now she's in a cast. But don't you worry, London-based Spice Girls fans - Emma Bunton has vowed that by the time the Spice Girls' world tour hits London she'll have recovered completely, even if she has to spend 13 hours chewing off her bad leg - cauterising the wound with a red-hot travel iron as she goes - and replacing it with one big penny farthing wheel, a bit like those dogs who go round hospitals have.
Yes, that's actually what Emma Bunton said.
No it isn't.
