Articles tagged with: Sperm
In what can only be described as another attempt to gain some publicity and prove she’s still relevant to society, Jodie Marsh has decided to become a lesbian. No, we don’t really care either. But wait! The craziness of Jodie Marsh gets even, er… better. The woman shaved her lover's initials into her scalp. Now the whole world knows how much of a loved-up dyke she is! But, really, is that the best you can do, Jodie? Sculpting the letters into her pubes would have caused us to maybe bat our eyelids for a few seconds at least. But without a man around, who will open her jars of mustard or change her lightbulbs? No-one, that’s who. Girls can’t do those sorts of things. Nor can they get themselves pregnant. That’s why Jodie is calling upon all bloke/perverts to masturbate furiously into a baked bean tin and send the results to her in the post.
Ready for another round of Charlie Sheen Vs Denise Richards: Who's The Most Confusingly Mental? You are? Well that's just great, because you're just in time - Denise Richards has gone on TV to promote her forthcoming reality TV show Denise Richards: It's Complicated. And something else, too... what was it again? Oh yes, that's it - to angrily lay into Charlie Sheen yet again, this time to deny writing an email requesting a sperm donation from Sheen and to bitterly invoke the memory of her dead mother an uncomfortable number of times, all with a terrifying "don't mess with me, world" glint in her eye. Don't believe us? Lucky the video's after the jump then, huh?
When someone offers you something for free, there’s usually a catch.
But not always. Just last week a Chinese businessman said we could inherit $10,000,000 if we gave him some bank details. We did and now we’re just waiting to see the cheque arrive in the post. And some people thought we were stupid.
Now a new offer has caught our eye, which couldn’t be better for the thousands of single and horny blokes out there. If you’ve missed out on tickets to this year's festivals like T In The Park, V and Glastonbury, you can still get a chance to go. All you have to do is wank! Yes simply place your man sap in a jar, send it off and you could be experiencing the joys of festivals around Europe. Sorry ladies, it’s a no go for you. But why not try and water some mayonnaise down and pass it off as your own reproductive bodily fluid anyway?
Tell any man that his daughter was created with the sperm of a dead religious leader and they'll probably get angry - look at Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise's lawyer is on the warpath after Tom Cruise: An Unauthorised Biography by Andrew Morton was published, a book that makes all sorts of wild claims about Tom Cruise's Scientology beliefs while alluding to claims that Tom Cruise's daughter Suri was sired with dead Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard's sperm.
Plainly ridiculous, we know. Everyone knows that Tom Cruise has dried Hubbard's sperm out and uses it as a creepy pesto seasoning.
