Articles tagged with: Spencer Pratt
Heidi and Spencer Pratt Threaten to Launch Their Own Reality Show
Heidi Pratt and her husband with a flesh-coloured beard, Spencer Pratt, are making the world's least threatening threat. The couple - full of their usual annoying shenanigans and fakery - are pitching the world's least watchable reality show. Not content with blighting the world three minutes at a time to a Natasha Bedingfield soundtrack, the gruesome twosome now think it would be a larf to have a reality show entirely their own.
Heidi Pratt and her husband with a flesh-coloured beard, Spencer Pratt, are making the world's least threatening threat. The couple - full of their usual annoying shenanigans and fakery - are pitching the world's least watchable reality show. Not content with blighting the world three minutes at a time to a Natasha Bedingfield soundtrack, the gruesome twosome now think it would be a larf to have a reality show entirely their own.
Stephanie Pratt Arrested For Being A Booze-Soaked Nob
We should be thanking Stephanie Pratt. In these troubled times, it's always nice to have a bit of consistency. And that's what she's provided. Forget about financial ruin or war or ecological destruction - so long as, somewhere in the world, someone from The Hills is acting like an overprivileged nob, then we know that everything is exactly as it should be. And if that means that Stephanie Pratt has to get arrested on suspicion of DUI, then that's what has to happen. Honestly, Stephanie Pratt deserves a medal. Or a jail sentence. Probably just the jail sentence, actually. Medals are quite expensive.
We should be thanking Stephanie Pratt. In these troubled times, it's always nice to have a bit of consistency. And that's what she's provided. Forget about financial ruin or war or ecological destruction - so long as, somewhere in the world, someone from The Hills is acting like an overprivileged nob, then we know that everything is exactly as it should be. And if that means that Stephanie Pratt has to get arrested on suspicion of DUI, then that's what has to happen. Honestly, Stephanie Pratt deserves a medal. Or a jail sentence. Probably just the jail sentence, actually. Medals are quite expensive.
I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here (USA): The Final!
During the First World War, soldiers would often endure days of warfare in the most atrocious conditions imaginable, and emerge from it all having gained or lost just a few yards for their team. Which is a hideously overblown and offensively inappropriate metaphor for this year's I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, the show that last night ended its interminable run on NBC. Who has covered themselves in glory? Who has covered themselves in shame? Who has apparently covered themselves from head-to-toe in the offcuts from a leather warehouse? (Hint: it's not Holly, it's not Torrie, and it's Janice). Find out after the jump.
During the First World War, soldiers would often endure days of warfare in the most atrocious conditions imaginable, and emerge from it all having gained or lost just a few yards for their team. Which is a hideously overblown and offensively inappropriate metaphor for this year's I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, the show that last night ended its interminable run on NBC. Who has covered themselves in glory? Who has covered themselves in shame? Who has apparently covered themselves from head-to-toe in the offcuts from a leather warehouse? (Hint: it's not Holly, it's not Torrie, and it's Janice). Find out after the jump.
Heidi Montag Threatens World With Nudey Playboy Shoot
Want to become famous? OK, here's how you do it. 1) Be completely awful. 2) Spend a few hours in a dark room until you vomit. Honestly, it works. Thanks to her being awful on The Hills and then vomiting a bit on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, Heidi Montag has never been so famous. And now she's finally achieved fame, it's time for her to use that fame for something important and philanthropic and world-changing. Heidi Montag is going to pose naked for Playboy. What? It could be worse. She could be doing something that involves her voice.
Want to become famous? OK, here's how you do it. 1) Be completely awful. 2) Spend a few hours in a dark room until you vomit. Honestly, it works. Thanks to her being awful on The Hills and then vomiting a bit on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, Heidi Montag has never been so famous. And now she's finally achieved fame, it's time for her to use that fame for something important and philanthropic and world-changing. Heidi Montag is going to pose naked for Playboy. What? It could be worse. She could be doing something that involves her voice.
I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here (USA): Week Two Begins
Yes, we had to check that, too. But it's true: it is only Week Two and not, as we had thought, Year Eighty-Nine. But a week can be a long time in the jungle. Especially a jungle where pubey-bearded manchild Spencer Pratt spends 19 hours out of every day arguing with mahogany-faced leatherwoman Janice Dickinson. The big story during the past week has been Speidi's will-they/won't-they shenanigans. Sadly, the issue in question is not "Will they or won't they go crazy and kill each other using a machete, a coconut and a pint of the world's most painfully toxic snake venom?", but the rather more mundane "Will they be allowed to re-enter the camp and inflict their self-love on us for the rest of the show, or will they be sent back to Beverley Hills with their suitcases, label-free shampoos and a terrible case of the world's most painfully toxic jungle fever?". Shame.
Yes, we had to check that, too. But it's true: it is only Week Two and not, as we had thought, Year Eighty-Nine. But a week can be a long time in the jungle. Especially a jungle where pubey-bearded manchild Spencer Pratt spends 19 hours out of every day arguing with mahogany-faced leatherwoman Janice Dickinson. The big story during the past week has been Speidi's will-they/won't-they shenanigans. Sadly, the issue in question is not "Will they or won't they go crazy and kill each other using a machete, a coconut and a pint of the world's most painfully toxic snake venom?", but the rather more mundane "Will they be allowed to re-enter the camp and inflict their self-love on us for the rest of the show, or will they be sent back to Beverley Hills with their suitcases, label-free shampoos and a terrible case of the world's most painfully toxic jungle fever?". Shame.
Heidi Montag Hospitalised, Spencer Pratt’s Grotty Beard A Suspect
Heidi Montag is as hard as nails. She is. True, she might look like a scrawny, pointless waste of skin, but she's hard. How hard is Heidi Montag? Hard enough to appear on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Hard enough to leave after a few days because it was too difficult. Hard enough to return again almost immediately because she couldn't stand being out of the limelight for even a millisecond. Hard enough to wind up going to hospital because she didn't like being made to only eating beans for a day. Again, Heidi Montag is hardore.
Heidi Montag is as hard as nails. She is. True, she might look like a scrawny, pointless waste of skin, but she's hard. How hard is Heidi Montag? Hard enough to appear on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Hard enough to leave after a few days because it was too difficult. Hard enough to return again almost immediately because she couldn't stand being out of the limelight for even a millisecond. Hard enough to wind up going to hospital because she didn't like being made to only eating beans for a day. Again, Heidi Montag is hardore.
I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here (USA): The Boys
The Americans, having nicked IASGMOOH from us, have failed to understand what makes the thing watchable: instead of cheeky Ant and Dec, they’ve got Myleene Klass hosting. A woman who donates sap, rather than blood.
Desperate as we are to witness talentless unknowns humiliate themselves on the telly, we genuinely can’t wait for the news season of America’s Got Talent. That doesn’t start until June 23rd, but NBC love us so much they’ve provided a little bit of televisual methadone, pending the arrival of the heroin shipment.
After the jump, we introduce you to one half of the stale celebrity idiots. Today: the boys.
Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt Get Married, Are Happy. Ugh.
Young love is beautiful isn't it? Unless it's between Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt - then it's weird and a bit incest-looking. Oh, we're kidding. Slightly. The love between Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from The Hills can't be denied, because they've just got married. And they've definitely got married because they love each other, and not because it's another feeble excuse to put their grizzled faces and dead, dead eyes on the front of more magazines. You may remember that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt already got married once last year. Why the new wedding? Because God hates you, that's why.
Young love is beautiful isn't it? Unless it's between Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt - then it's weird and a bit incest-looking. Oh, we're kidding. Slightly. The love between Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from The Hills can't be denied, because they've just got married. And they've definitely got married because they love each other, and not because it's another feeble excuse to put their grizzled faces and dead, dead eyes on the front of more magazines. You may remember that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt already got married once last year. Why the new wedding? Because God hates you, that's why.
