Hello, and welcome to another hecklerspray. What’s that? Sorry, but we couldn’t quite hear you.
It’s probably because we’re blasting Electric Youth, track 7 of Debbie Gibson‘s critically acclaimed second album, also entitled Electric Youth. We realise most people might think it’s entirely too loud, but loud is the only way to listen to such an incredible talent.
Allow us, if you will, to reach past our 8.5×11 full-colour glossy autographed copy of a Debbie Gibson 2003 head shot, past our recently acquired eBay-sandwich bag full of Debbie Gibson hair and soap scrapings, and past the finely stitched velveteen pillow delicately covered in rose petals and lip-shaped chap stick smudges, to turn down the volume. That’s for Debbie. The pillow is for Debbie.
What’s that? You didn’t know any of us Deb-heads still existed? You may be surprised to know, then, that there are enough of us to almost literally fill the convention room of the Renaissance Inn down in Oklahoma City. One such fan even stalked her recently – followed her all the way to her hotel room. She did not appreciate this at all.
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Hello, and welcome to another hecklerspray. What's that? Sorry, but we couldn't quite hear you.
It's probably because we're blasting Electric Youth, track 7 of Debbie Gibson's critically acclaimed second album, also entitled Electric Youth. We realise most people might think it's entirely too loud, but loud is the only way to listen to such an incredible talent.
Allow us, if you will, to reach past our 8.5x11 full-colour glossy autographed copy of a Debbie Gibson 2003 head shot, past our recently acquired eBay-sandwich bag full of Debbie Gibson hair and soap scrapings, and past the finely stitched velveteen pillow delicately covered in rose petals and lip-shaped chap stick smudges, to turn down the volume. That's for Debbie. The pillow is for Debbie.
What's that? You didn't know any of us Deb-heads still existed? You may be surprised to know, then, that there are enough of us to almost literally fill the convention room of the Renaissance Inn down in Oklahoma City. One such fan even stalked her recently - followed her all the way to her hotel room. She did not appreciate this at all.
We're starting to get the impression that Jessica Alba is running out of ways to keep her pregnancy sexy.
That's not to say that she didn't do a good job initially – in the early stages Jessica Alba all but demanded that everyone in the vicinity had to gawp at her massive new boobs for hours on end. But then that was followed by a confusing mid-section where Jessica Alba revealed that she kept chucking her boyfriend out. That's a sort of fiery thing to do, and fiery can sometimes be a little bit sexy, so we all went along with it.
And now? Now Jessica Alba has announced that, um, she's only going to talk Spanish to her new baby. Which is… well, it's crap, let's not beat around the bush.
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How will 2007 be remembered, do you think?
The year that Tony Blair stepped down after a ten-year tenure as Prime Minister? The year in which California wildfires prompted a mass evacuation? The year of the monks and their Burmese protests?
Possibly, yes. But it seems that for some of you, 2007 will go down as the year that Hecklerspray made a boo-boo by including one too many syllables in the first line of a winning celebrity haiku. Yeah, yeah – we made a mistake. Sorry 'bout that.
Oh. And if, say, anyone was so enraged by an error in a bit-of-fun weekly poetry contest as to label the writer 'a pallid excuse for a human being', might we direct you to this. Or this. Maybe, y'know, take some notes or something.
Anyway. On with the show. This week we're looking at bespectacled director-type Woody Allen. But first, let's have a quick peek at last week's winner.
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How will 2007 be remembered, do you think?
The year that Tony Blair stepped down after a ten-year tenure as Prime Minister? The year in which California wildfires prompted a mass evacuation? The year of the monks and their Burmese protests?
Possibly, yes. But it seems that for some of you, 2007 will go down as the year that Hecklerspray made a boo-boo by including one too many syllables in the first line of a winning celebrity haiku. Yeah, yeah - we made a mistake. Sorry 'bout that.
Oh. And if, say, anyone was so enraged by an error in a bit-of-fun weekly poetry contest as to label the writer 'a pallid excuse for a human being', might we direct you to this. Or this. Maybe, y'know, take some notes or something.
Anyway. On with the show. This week we're looking at bespectacled director-type Woody Allen. But first, let's have a quick peek at last week's winner.