space - HecklerSpray

S Club 7 To Reconvene, Hecklerspray’s DIY 90s Pop Reunion Template Article

March 22nd, 2012 By Sophie Hall

So that’s Blue, Steps, Spice Girls, Take That, No Doubt, 911 (Really?), Soundgarden (Jesus…), ‘Space’ (WHAT) and Babylon Zoo all reunited and back in our hearts once again. For the good of music.

The dream team are back. (Not ‘the Dream Team’ though. Just the idiom.) What an incredibly unexpected blast from the past! What a lovable foray back into 90s kitsch! What a beautifully orchestrated look into the disenfranchised work ethic of the average mid-30s misogynist. Soundgarden. Brilliant.

In case you haven’t realised yet – we don’t know how – maybe you were tired – maybe you woke up in a bunk-bed – maybe you were too busy thinking, “Crikey, it’s great about Space, isn’t it?” Hey. Whatever it was that you ‘had’ to do that made you not walk full pelt into the conclusion – that we are lying. That’s it. We’re liars. We do not think that every band that hit prominence in the late 90s, thus reinforcing the painstakingly dull ebb of a nation’s continued thrusting urgency for cheesy nostalgia, or an excuse to lift Lee Ryan’s restraining order on woodland creatures, vulnerable women and sci-fi is necessarily a good idea. Oh, and we also lied about Babylon Zoo. Sucks to be you right now.

Ashton Kutcher To Be Sent Into Space (Where He’ll Probably Get Killed By Alien)

March 20th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

He’s littered film, blighted television, ruined Demi Moore’s life and now Ashton Kutcher is ready to spoil the impossible, empty beauty of space by flying there in a special space-plane. What a berk.

The Two and a Half Men star has officially signed up to go into space with Virgin Galactic’s billionaire founder, Richard Branson.

It is thought that Branson secretly plans to eject Kutcher into the deep, dark void and watch him explode among the hanging orbs, waiting for Alien to come and stick its tail straight through his massive neck. Stephen Hawking will watch from a circling ‘spectator drone’.

Awesome or Off-Putting: The Lost Cosmonauts

October 24th, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Back in the sixties the USSR did a pretty good job of shrouding their space program in secrecy. In fact – as we understand it they even made their cosmonauts mop their way up the flight ramp so the press would just think they were janitors. That’s very subversive.

Really though – they did keep it pretty well hidden. And when a bunch of orbiting, thick accented human beings died in at least 3 separate incidents the world at large didn’t even know about it.

Awesome Or Off-Putting: The Wow! Signal – Sent By Aliens? (W/ Video)

April 6th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, myths, ancient artifacts, religion, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Well don’t tell Jodie Foster, but she needn’t have made that one movie where she made love to her dead alien father on an other-planet beach. That’s because the premise of that movie – Contact we think it was called – was about how the world would react if it ever received contact from another planet.

Problem is that film was made 20 years after the fact.

Steven Seagal! Under Siege 3! In Space! Almost Definitely!

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Die Hard 4, Rocky Balboa and the new Indiana Jones were really all just warm-ups for one almighty action comeback movie – Under Siege 3.

Yeah, you heard. Buoyed up by the recent success of his peers, Steven Seagal has decided that he’s going to follow suit and make Under Siege 3. And there’ll be none of this ‘acknowledging the aging process’ malarkey, either – if Steven Seagal gets his way, then Under Siege 3 will be set in outer space where he’ll get to kung-fu a bunch of evil aliens.

So that’s Under Siege 3, coming soon to a theatre near you. Provided that the theatre nearest you happens to be the theatre playing inside Steven Seagal’s wonky and somewhat deluded brain.

SLACKERJACK: Gravitee

August 5th, 2008 By Ian Dransfield

Golf games tend to be great fun, when they’re done right at least.

But they can be a bit boring and samey – even the cutesy titles like Everybody’s Golf have far too many identikit competitors these days. So it’s nice to find a golfing game to wile away the minutes that offers something different – golf in space.

Gravitee plays a very simple but strikingly addictive game, seeing the player attempting to swing a ball around the gravitational pulls of numerous planets to land it through a ring. It’s great, and it involves some physicsy/mathsy type stuff too, which is nice.