Professional headcase Tom Cruise has admitted to being terrified of the melodic word with his fear coming to a very public fore while filming his new waste of time “Rock Of Ages”.
Tom Cruise is well renowned throughout the world, both as an actor, a producer and as someone who doesn’t know when a franchise is dead (See: Mission: Impossible) but his ability to sing has never been called into question. Even in 1983 “classic” Risky Business, Tom used Bob Seger as a voice double during his trouserless performance of Old Time Rock n’ Roll.
Let’s be fair to Tom though, singing is a terrifying experience. One need only spend five minutes in the company of a Glee Survivor to know that not only are their vocal chords destroyed, their careers are all-but ruined by incessant autotune abuse. DARE to say no to singing.
Read More >>>
People dying is a terrible thing, it’s almost as bad as when annoying songs get stuck in your head, but what’s even worse and more inconceivable than either of those things is when you have fake songs about dead people stuck in your head.
Readers of the ‘Spray, tonight we are disgraced to tell you that we find ourselves in this very situation. Currently we are dancing round the bedsit singing “Ga-da-fi is d-ead,” to the theme of the Conga, any second now the crew from Insidious 2 will be round to start filming.
One day no new music videos will have been posted on all the pretentious sites, and NME Video, that we patrol to inform you what the beautiful people are doing and you’ll just be left utterly heart-broken and convulsing on the floor while singing the jingle from the Match.com advert, because let’s face it you go there every night like the filthy love-hound you are. Until this day comes though we can this week offer you some of the finest dirge on the web and Rihanna, who is so non-dirge that she forgave Chris Brown—according to our sources; the Metro.
Read More >>>
With future lucrative reunion tours now very much an option, yesterday saw everyone making the pun of ‘it’s the end of REM as we know it’, as Michael Stipe & Co decided to call it a day. Most of you had kinda forgotten all about them hadn’t you?
Well, after 31 years of making music, the band have amicably called it a day.
In that time, REM have had some monstrous hits and cult classics. Everybody Hurts and Shiny Happy People are probably the big two you’ll remember most, but there’s more to this group than these two singles. And so, we plot their history in 15 songs.
Read More >>>
As we probably used to mention ages ago when this feature was just a small child struggling to find its feet, we like to cover all sorts of music.
Most of the time it will be quite accessible, but then we may crank it up a notch to leave you with a horrible taste in your mouth. You know, like when slurping down some two month old milk complete with that yummy lumpy flavouring.
After the last few weeks of giving you nice and pleasant stuff to download and share it’s about time to offer something that will hopefully make you laugh. Or if you’re Mary Whitehouse, send us verbal abuse for us to ignore.
Kunt And The Gang offer an alternative view of love songs. Well that’s what we think anyway. Whatever the case, they still amuse us.
Read More >>>
The internet, eh? Sometimes it can be really annoying.
Like that time Lindsay Lohan accepted our MySpace 'friend request.' How was hecklerspray supposed to know that 'friend request' didn't mean 'please stand outside my house shouting inappropriate sexual slurs before being dragged off by the police in a haze of tear-gas and rubber bullets'? And don't even get us started on that time the internet promised us a load of money from Nigeria.
Pain is only relevant, however, if shared by a celebrity. Any fool knows that. Which is why hecklerspray is particularly enamoured with Kelly Clarkson - she hates the internet too, and she's going to tell you all about it. Well, actually, we are. In a vaguely sarcastic manner. Before linking to the story itself. Come on, you know the score by now.
Read More >>>
Bob Marley movies are a lot like buses – you wait hours for one then two come at once, plus if you go on one late at night a creepy drunk man will sit next to you and try to stroke your knee.
We've forgotten what our point was now – something about Bob Marley trying to stroke our knee, we think.
No, it's all coming back now – there are two Bob Marley movies on the way, except that they're coming out so close together that an almighty scrap has kicked off about who gets to use Bob Marley's songs. Honestly, they should just flip for it – winner gets Redemption Song, loser gets Craven Choke Puppy. Simple.
Read More >>>
By christ, Guitar Hero has taken over our lives in a bad way – to the extent that our left hand is now nothing more than a withered arthritic stump.
But something worries us – the next Guitar Hero expansion pack is going to be about Aerosmith alone. And, obviously, the trouble with that is that Aerosmith are a giant sack of donkey bums. By copping out this badly, Neversoft had better pull its finger out and make sure that Guitar Hero 4 is full of songs that don't make us want to lose the will to live. Songs like these.
You might not agree with some of these choices – and you definitely won't agree with all of them – so feel free to leave any other suggestions you have in the comment box. Meanwhile, here's our massively subjective list of songs that deserve to be included in Guitar Hero 4…
Read More >>>
‘From suffering comes creativity’, so goes the old adage, and when applying it to Sir Paul McCartney’s career, it shows us that he hasn’t experienced an ounce of suffering in three decades.
Like us, you were probably hoping that McCartney's bitter, painful, hilarious divorce may have depressed him back to former glories, but Macca has declared that this is definitely not the case.
Read More >>>
