Oh look at you, all pleased for Beyonce and Jay-Z for growing a lickle baby waby inside her. It’s amazing isn’t it? She’ll go from Best Woman In The World to Shoving Stupid Pictures Of Her Spawn All Over Her Stupid Facebook in one felled swoop.
Of course, if you’ve been gawping at her, you will have noticed that she has been showing something of a baby bump off. This is so we can all coo about her pregnancy glow, right?
Well, rumour has it that, while she is indeed waiting on a baby, she’s not pregnant at all! NOT PREGNANT AT ALL. So what’s the muttering?
How was your bank holiday weekend? Chances are, it wasn’t nearly as eventful as Solange ‘Beyonce’s Sister’ Knowles… unless of course, you’re always having policemen stab your giant banana with a switchblade.
Of course, in America, it is tradition to carry a humongous banana with you when you’ve found out you’re going to be an auntie (Beyonce is having a baby. Haven’t you heard? Expect a horrible ‘motherhood’ LP in the near future).
However, Miami police (the same ones that fished Sean Kingston’s nearly-dead body out of the water not too long ago) haven’t heard of this tradition and promptly tried to stab the banana, thinking it was some dreadful Godzilla thing about to rampage through the city.
4 - Here’s Stephen Colbert talking about things called Stephen Colbert – Comedycentral
3 – Solange Knowles falls over, Twitters relentlessly about it -Popsugar
2 - Want to be depressed? Then here’s a list of best-selling albums globally last year – Prefixmag
1 - You won’t thank us for posting this. In fact you might start actively hating us. But only once you’ve finished clawing at yourself and, trust us, you’ll be clawing at yourself for a LONG TIME after watching this – Best Week Ever
Oh look at you, all pleased for Beyonce and Jay-Z for growing a lickle baby waby inside her. It’s amazing isn’t it? She’ll go from Best Woman In The World to Shoving Stupid Pictures Of Her Spawn All Over Her Stupid Facebook in one felled swoop.
