S&M - HecklerSpray

Rihanna Causes Expected Controversy By Killing A Rapist

June 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Will someone have a word with Rihanna please? She’s been really good fun to have around, making a buncha delightfully dumb pop records and generally being pleasing on the eye. The perfect modern pop star in many respects.

However, she’s in danger of becoming very, very tiring very, very quickly because she’s now set her sights on constantly trying to shock us all. It all reeks of trying too hard, which is strange because she’s already done the hard work and really doesn’t need to. It feels like she’s pushing the wrong envelope.

And her latest video is causing more tiring outrage and, instead of being a hoot, she’s going to have to defend herself after she killed a rapist in a promo video for her latest single, Man Down.

Parent Group Angry At Britney Spears And Rihanna For Making Them Aroused

May 25th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Anyone who saw Rihanna and Britney Spears’ performance of ‘S&M’ on the Billboard awards will surely agree that it was one of the most tedious examples of sexuality ever aired on television. Both singers vaguely gyrated in their bondage-lite gear while going through the motions.

It was roughly as sexy as a sock drawer. Sock fetishes need not apply to that analogy, although we do welcome readers to laugh at the world ‘anal’ in ‘analogy’ because we’re incredibly childish.

However, despite making millions limp, there’s a group of parents (aka ‘scumbags’) who are apoplectic with angry arousal at the whole thing. They’re furious that they should feel a twitch in their pants, despite not morally agreeing with what they saw on the stage.

Rihanna And Britney Spears Rubbish Kiss Deemed To Offensive For America

May 24th, 2011 By Matthew Laidlow

we're not American, though plenty of people think we are. Notably, Americans. If you hadn’t noticed, America is very different to the UK. Our portion sizes are smaller, we don't pointlessly wander around with firearms and we have a healthcare system that kind of works.

Despite being a nation that loves a good war, America doesn't approve of naked flesh being shown on TV. From what we gather, American parents want their children to believe in the magic of Mickey Mouse and the tooth fairy until they turn forty.

Once again, American networks recoiled in horror as Rihanna and Britney Spears ? two performers known for not being overly liberal, decided to have a friendly kiss at the country music awards, otherwise known as the Billboard Music Award Show.

Rihanna Wants To Spank Britney Spears

April 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Rihanna is no longer a mere popstar. By design, she’s become pop-culture’s newest Bettie Page. By flirting with a sado-mas0chistic image and talking about spanking all the time, she’s become the poster girl for those too shy to actually ever try it out in the bedroom themselves.

As such, this has seen spectacular idiots equating consensual slap and tickle with its safe words and boundaries to Chris Brown being dead-on for banjoing her in the face with his incredibly bony knuckles.

But let us not think about Chris Brown and his long, thin member. Instead, fill your mind with the thought of Rihanna spanking Britney Spears’ wobbly posterior.

Rihanna, Unsurprisingly, Likes S&M (But Probably Because She Was Abused)

March 30th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember when Rihanna had the dogshit knocked out of her by Chris Brown? That was bad wasn’t it? Well, prepare yourself for loads of people saying she asked for it because she likes S&M because, obviously, the two equate.

That’s right masturbators! You can now plant a kinky image in your mind the next time you’re feverishly blistering your palms around your member or whacking a fap to sonic boom levels!

The Bajan belter has stated, quite explicitly, that she likes to be tied up and spanked in the bedroom. And while many enjoy a bit more slap than tickle, it appears that Rihanna only likes it because she was abused as a child, which isn’t great if you’re one of those people who likes being hogtied, but had a perfectly normal childhood. Brace yourself for people being overly concerned about you now.

Rihanna And Ciara Get Nasty And Not In A Good Way

February 28th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray, nothing makes us happier than when celebs go fucking mental on Twitter. Yes, whether they’re assassinating each other using 140 character covered light-sabers, verbally battering mere mortals or just secretly swapping ‘cock shots’ with embarrassingly unattractive, money hungry?strangers, we love nothing more than some good old unabashed Twitter beefing.

Recently masturbaters favourite Rihanna and slightly less bouncy but you probably still would, R&B singer Ciara, got involved in a some Twitter rage over Ri Ri’s brutal disrespecting of Ciara at some awards show party.

And you thought this Libyan revolt was important news?

David LaChapelle Throws A Baby-Clothed Hissy Over Latest Rihanna Video

February 16th, 2011 By Michael Park

It seems that intellectual property is the new black and acting like a litigious dick every time someone uses one of your ideas and runs with it. For example, we could sue the entire world for ripping off our idea that Justin Bieber is a travesty and is therefore something to be held up as a hate-figure. But we don’t! It’s a good idea!

Why shouldn’t you, the general public, be able to use our intellectual “Bieber is a Sodwallet” property as your own? It’s a free country.

Of course, it looks like America isn’t. David LaChapelle, a photographer, is suing pop star and domestic abuse victim?Rihanna over the content of her S&M video (more on that video, here). You know… the sexy one that been banned in loads of countries ’cause it’s so totally extreme and stuff. His idea, unfortunately.

Rihanna ‘S&M’ Video: DECODED

August 5th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

So, Rihanna is back with a new single called S&M, which is set to rock Middle England to its frail little core and frighten America’s Bible Belt so much they’ll no doubt be firing rounds of confused shots into the sky already.

Fact is, Ri is pushing her luck with a tale of “chains and whips” exciting her, which will invariably see pen-pushing hacks worrying about the sanctity of our children’s minds. Not that they aren’t all watching endless hours of filth online anyway.

However, the gun is prematurely jumping here. That’s because this video doesn’t deal with sexual themes at all, rather, it showcases Rihanna’s fondness for food and thereby gives young women a positive role-model to aspire to.

It’s okay to have your cake and swallow it down in one.