Sleeper - HecklerSpray

Tom Cruise Weathers Tropic(al) Thunder to Walk Katie Holmes to Work. Or Something.

March 24th, 2009 By Ian Dransfield

It would appear that Katie Holmes didn’t manage to run away from Tom Cruise as fast as we would have hoped for the poor girl.

She did manage to escape to the other side of the US ‘to be in a Broadway show’, as the official story put it – we know that was just a cover, and we urged Katie to run for her Creeking life. But it would seem her cover of ‘I have a job over there’ didn’t hold water with hubby Tom Cruise, and the fat bald one from Tropic Thunder has re-stamped his authority on Katie Holmes.

We tried to save her, we really did, but for some people there’s just no way around it. She’s consigned herself to a lifetime of being lead around by a dwarf, as she allowed the Cruiser to fly all the way across the country just to walk her to work.

Why didn’t you run, Katie? Why?

Tom Cruise Causes Sleeper Puns to Take Over the Internet. We’re Not Happy.

August 19th, 2008 By Ian Dransfield

Tom Cruise is continuing his run of trying to make people think he’s less of a massive mental, religious freak.

First he stopped jumping around like a particularly stupid chimp, he stopped going on about Scientology in public – though he did see some of his private video collection released, much to the delight/terror (delete as appropriate) of the general public – and he’s seeing some rave reviews flying about for his small role in Tropic Thunder. So what next?

Well, it’s obvious isn’t it? Star in a superhero film, and get someone like Sam Raimi on board to produce. Which is, apparently, what’s being pushed for by Tom Cruise and Warner Bros, who own the rights to Sleeper – a short running comic book series from a few years back. Well, Raimi’s already on board, but you get the point.

And you can’t fault the man’s logic.

Man Wins Turner Prize For Dressing As Bear

March 25th, 2009 By C J Davies

It's Turner Prize time again.

And – while there's nothing worse than people who label anything slightly intellectual or artistic as 'pretentious' – we can't help but side with the naysayers on this one and shake our heads like that bewildered Grandma watching 2 Girls 1 Cup on YouTube.

Held in new 'city of culture' Liverpool – kind of like renaming Dachau 'smilesville' – Monday night's Turner Prize was the 23rd in a long line of such controversial get-togethers. Named after the painter J.M.V Turner – an arguable pioneer of the Impressionist aesthetic – the gong generally seems to be given to whatever a local panel of sixth-formers would think would offend their parents the most.

This year? It's been won by a man dressing as a bear.