sleep - HecklerSpray

Awesome Or Off-Putting: This Man (In Everybody’s Dream)

October 26th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

As paranormal events go, this one really stands out. It stands out, perhaps, because we’ve never heard of anything quite like it. There are no UFOs to speak of, nobody’s claimed a terrifying ape-man encounter deep in the woods, and as far as we can tell nobody’s gotten ghost-hickeys.

Ask our Aunt Sally about the hickeys.

Today’s topic is a man who has appeared in everybody’s dream.

Keith Richards Wants David Blaine To Get Some Sleep

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

David Blaine is at a crossroads – after all, how do you top standing on a pole and standing near some ice and sitting around in a box for a while?

Which is why, for his next big trick, David Blaine has decided to stay awake for 13 days.

Trouble is, though, Keith Richards doesn't want David Blaine to do that. Keith Richards, speaking from experience, says that there are unknown dangers involved with staying awake for days, like falling face-first into a JVC speaker and smashing up your nose after nine days. Similarly, Keith Richards has warned David Blaine against climbing up tiny coconut trees that most children would be able to scale safely without falling and snorting the ashes of dead relatives.

DMX Legally Not Raped By Some Woman

March 31st, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

hecklerspray was horribly stuck once in the middle of a swirling gaggle of wing-flapping Canadian geese. It was terrible – all the squawking, all the honking, all the pinching us with feathers – terrible we tell you!

When they finally flew away we were stranded two states to the south from where we were when it started with only a tattered Italian motorcycle jacket and some wing-shaped facial bruises. Our subliminal self-defence mechanism has helped us block out a lot of what happened – but three weeks later we laid a freaking egg. We're just saying.

Because of this experience we can kind of but not really relate to how DMX must have felt after some woman raped him while he was only trying to sleep with a window-breeze regulating the temperature of his exposed man-parts. We can't totally relate, mind you, because a judge never summarily called our account fictitious and then awarded all those geese something like a million and a half dollars.

But aside from that we know exactly what the man's going through.