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slave

You remember Boris Johnson, don’t you? He’s the blonde, mop-headed fool that bumbles his way through life from one gaffe to the next. He’s the Mayor of London too. You know, the one that had to be dragged, kicking and screaming, back from holiday during the riots. He’s a big pal of David Cameron. A lot of people vote for him because they think he’s hilarious. Are you following us here?

Good ol’ Boris knows what the important things are though. Whether it’s getting rid of those frightful bendy buses that interrupt everyone’s chauffeur-driven commute or apologising to stars who have suffered racial abuse at the hands of some lobster-skinned British git-bag that probably makes up most of ol’ Boris’ core vote.

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Jay-Z Turns Beyonce From A Bitch Into A WifeySinging businessman Jay-Z has finally made an honest woman of his hitherto ho-beau Beyonce Knowles.

According to People.Com, the couple held a private wedding ceremony at Jay-Z's New York apartment yesterday evening, to which only close friends and family were invited.

They didn’t even have the common decency to invite the press. How are we to trust them? What are they so afraid of us seeing? Would we have found out the service was being funded by Jay-Z’s links to nineteenth century slave trade profiteering?

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