Articles tagged with: Slash
We have news to make you skip to work this morning! You big girls. No more Guns N' Roses! EVER! Thousands of men who very wrongly believe that having long, wispy hair somehow means people don't notice their aggressive male pattern baldness are today breathing deep, sad sighs. Which could explain that odd smell of cabbage and bad beer we noticed when we left our house this morning. Yes, Axl Rose has declared that there is no way the original Guns N' Roses will get back together. Where the hell was this Axl Rose 20 years ago, eh?
It's a commonly accepted semi-fact that Slash learned to play guitar after a welding accident left him stuck to his uncle's six string for almost two and a half years. It was middle school, and he just wanted classmates to think he was carrying the thing around because he wanted to. After a while, not only could he play the instrument, but he could also write with it, eat with it, and use it to point his dinky in the general direction of the urinal. His uncle hated that the most. That's how Slash got so tough. His son, though, apparently has no means of becoming such a hardened brute. After all - he can't even handle 80 or so snakes, so his dad had to kick them all out of the house.
We'd have loved to be a fly on the wall at the Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce ruling - and not just so we could puke on everyone's food and make them ill.
No, in short we'd like to have been a fly on the wall at the Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills divorce ruling because it sounds like Heather Mills went properly berserk.
Although it's common knowledge that Heather Mills tipped a bunch of water over Paul McCartney's lawyer's head in court, it's now been claimed that Heather Mills also started slashing her fingers across her throat at Fiona Shackleton in court. And, as all schoolchildren know, that's literally the worst threat you can give. Fiona Shackleton is lucky that Heather Mills didn't mean business, or she's be fishing her pencil case from on top of the woodwork block by now.
