Articles tagged with: Slap
Kelly Osbourne Slaps All Those Who Claim Her Beau Knows Little About Earth Science
If you don't have at least a couple of hours to spare - never bring up the topic of earthquakes around Kelly Osbourne's boyfriend. If you do, he'll likely tell you all about how they are a sudden release of energy from deep within the earth, and how they're caused by plate tectonics. Then, if your experience is anything like ours, the topic of plate tectonics will send him on a Pangea tangent, and he'll tell you about how the continents are all drifting back together at incredibly slow speeds, and they're all gonna collide one day causing brand new mountain ranges to pop up all along former coast lines. Oh, also he'll say something about praying you're not alive when that time comes. He even used a laser pointer and a colour-coded slide show. A real pill, we tell ya. One writer didn't know earthquakes were the secret passion of Kelly Osbourne's newest flame. We're not sure what boyfriend's name is, and we really can't be bothered to check. Let's just call him Big Gay Bruce. Anyway - one author recently said something about Big Gay Bruce not knowing how an earthquake happens. This, apparently, led to a slap-happy assault on the author by Osbourne herself - with hands flying everywhere! Except not in the plural!
If you don't have at least a couple of hours to spare - never bring up the topic of earthquakes around Kelly Osbourne's boyfriend. If you do, he'll likely tell you all about how they are a sudden release of energy from deep within the earth, and how they're caused by plate tectonics. Then, if your experience is anything like ours, the topic of plate tectonics will send him on a Pangea tangent, and he'll tell you about how the continents are all drifting back together at incredibly slow speeds, and they're all gonna collide one day causing brand new mountain ranges to pop up all along former coast lines. Oh, also he'll say something about praying you're not alive when that time comes. He even used a laser pointer and a colour-coded slide show. A real pill, we tell ya. One writer didn't know earthquakes were the secret passion of Kelly Osbourne's newest flame. We're not sure what boyfriend's name is, and we really can't be bothered to check. Let's just call him Big Gay Bruce. Anyway - one author recently said something about Big Gay Bruce not knowing how an earthquake happens. This, apparently, led to a slap-happy assault on the author by Osbourne herself - with hands flying everywhere! Except not in the plural!
