Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
Kaya Scodelario is a Brazilian-British bombshell actress who enjoys tweeting about farts in her spare time. That’s kind of a gross hobby, but we’ll give her a pass considering her status as a rising actress.
Her acting career began as a teenager on a then-brand new E4 series, Skins. Though initially an auxiliary character, Kaya’s charm as Effy Stonem quickly won fans over, and by season three she had usurped the throne as the face of the series and its most recognizable character.
Yes, she’s Gilly, the dim-witted wildling girl in Game of Thrones. The one that the fat guy from the Night Watch got to bang.
If you’re from England, you’ve probably seen Hannah Murray in the teen drama Skins as well. She plays the eccentric girl Cassie Ainsworth and won a BAFTA Audience Award for her role. Never seen Skins before? Shame. It’s got lots of teens hooking up with each other, drugs and bisexual lovin’.
Here’s an example where Hannah’s character hooks up with a girl and a guy after that. She has the best lines:
Relief, sweet relief as we can finally be quoted accurately on declaring the end of Skins and the start of summer, two things we love more than Michael Barrymore?s pool parties ? can we get a Roflcopter?
It's a slow start to the demise of the series as we know it ? yes guys, sorry to say it's going down shortly, after one final amazefuck of a series with members of each and every cast, probably at uni doing absolutely shit tons of work and writing dissertations on the representation of youth in the media, or not, you know.
Anyway, yeah, so Frankie is around hunting her mum like she's in a bloody day-glow version of The Hunger Games or something. She's wearing the same jacket she has been for about nine weeks and its filthy which makes us admire the attention to detail, it's these little grubby bits that really make the difference.
Here?s us getting all ready to talk to you about the Skins season finale and how that ending was a bit monumentally rubbish hanging off all the cliffs in the Lake District and it's only going to be bloody well on again next week isn't it?
We found that out through the cleverly titled, ?Next Week,? section at the end in case you were wondering what sort of powers we had.
On the whole we've noticed that Skins is peaking as the unusually fast pregnancy plot moves along.
?Fresh Meat is coming up in an hour,? are our most dreaded words, not because we?d rather crawl into an oven than watch anything where Jack Whitehall plays Jack Whitehall, but because they mean Skins is on for the next sixty minutes.
It's all right though, because, this is the penultimate episode so as well as wondering how you spent a good eight weeks watching this in absolute isolation, you can look forward to the days where people might consider letting you near them again without risk of you blurting out terms of endearment that involve the word, ?Delish.?
For now though we're all going to happily continue from where we left of which is exactly with; Oh hark, a vagrant!
Are you a fan of thoroughly and comprehensively unrealistic teen-dramas that pass themselves off as hard-hitting, issue-heavy dramadies, prone to firing its cast every 5 minutes? You’re probably stupid enough to like Skins then… which has just been killed.
No, not killed and prone to return with TV executives realising what a terrible mistake they’ve made.
Skins has been axed, cancelled, thrown into the bin, rubbished, pooh-poohed, left to rot… CANCELLED CANCELLED CANCELLED by E4 because, basically, no-one likes it anymore and it is obviously far too expensive to make. Besides, everyone’s watching Misfits these days.
It seems only apt that Skins comes on after Embarrassing Bodies (which we have just realised is on a different channel) as every single one of the ?young adults? that consistently get their kit off on this programme should be ashamed of their skin sacks which are here being used for little other than to hold their organs in nearly the right places.
They should be embarrassed that, no matter what age they are, every single one of them is wearing tight hugging day glow boxers and ill-fitting bras. And they never wear those for long. And have you seen their sodding jewellery?
Congratulations are due to Skins though who last night tackled a real subject or at least attempted to. Alo was sent down kicking and screaming for cherry picking in the My Little Pony field, which as we all know is just plain sick and good television it does make as Skins effortlessly rode it's way to one of the best episodes of the season so far.
Come on guys you know the Skins drill by now: Bristol, rich kids, drugs, drama, overwrought emotional turmoil, and sweat… buckets and buckets of filthy sweat dripping from practically every pore of every person.
And this week’s Skins hasn’t left us asking specific questions about it, rather, more of a pondering on an overarching issue. Basically, have you noticed that the entire world and all its inhabitants are based in Bristol? No matter how unlikely it is to find?Moroccan drug lords and Russian gangsters in Bristol, there they all are.
We’ve been to Bristol, and multicultural it ain’t.
Instead of listening to uplifting music we're continuing on the emotional, spiritual, and frankly suicidal journey that is Skins because somebody HAS TO and that somebody is us.
As the introductory voice over regales us with her warnings that ?Scenes may contain drug use, sex, and violence,? we curse ourselves NOT AGAIN and continue to brew up.
Spliced in between all this excess are some shots that compile an episode centred around the blonde ?bombshell? Minnie, except she's not really looking so fab these days because that's what happens when you're up the duff, preggers, cooking a bun, with child; you get angry and ugly so be warned children.
Well we genuinely thought Skins had ended so this review is a massive disappointment not only to you, but to us too. There can't be much left now right? We've already watched three whole hours and some finely placed Durex adverts. That's longer than a film. There is surely nothing left for them to do here since they murdered everyone last week?
It is Franky?s episode though and according to the E4 voice man, so that's exciting, eh? She was once a good character, you know when we fancied her and stuff, now not so much.
See, it’s all bad hair, slightly better bra. Then again the plunge always was a good style; it even makes little boys like Dakota Blue Richards look like real women.
