No need to bother with giant news conglomerates reporting on AIDS-ravished nations, terrorism, genocide, and so forth. Obviously, we all agree that it’s more important to know about festering disease growing on the skin famous persons, like the cancerous patch of skin recently removed from the face of CNN’s Anderson Cooper.

We are happy to report that preliminary reports suggest both Cooper and cancer are doing fine and resting peacefully. We hear that Will Smith and his wife Jada have already been to visit the cancerous patch and say it looks just like its father.  

Looking for a bonanza of entertainment, are you? Then do a Google image search for impetigo. Go ahead and do it now. We’ll wait. Ah, there’s that lovely sound of violent retching we were waiting for. The foamy white ones are our favourites, too.

Sure, we all get to have the thrill of infectious skin disease image searching, but guess who’s out there with real-life infectious skin disease. Amy Winehouse, that’s who. She’s got impetigo on her face. So, yes, there is legitimately, clinically something wrong with her face that doesn’t have to do with the brutal thwomping of drugs and alcohol, or eyeliner wings that look like they’re desperately trying to get her face to take flight. Who knew?