Posts tagged as:

singing

AARGH! Small Terrifying Child Sings Nicki Minaj In Puke Inducing Video!

by Mof Gimmers

Kids do the sweetest things don’t they? They vomit over their food, which they continue to eat; they poo in their pants; they waddle around like little drunks forming crystallised snot moustaches while demanding every single second of your increasingly worthless time. All together now – AAAAWWWWWWW However, some parents aren’t sated with such activities. [...]

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Susan Boyle Does Depeche Mode Cover, Which Will Irritate You No Doubt

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when we all laughed at Susan Boyle because she had a funny face? Then she started singing and everyone said in unison; ‘Wow, you can have a funny face AND sing! Who knew?!’ Remember? Then, when the initial shock of Boyle’s voice ebbed away, everyone went back to pointing and laughing at her. Remember [...]

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Gwyneth Paltrow Will Have An Affair On Chris Martin At Some Point

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine waking up every morning and seeing Coldplay’s Chris Martin lying there in his hemp pyjamas, gurgling while he dreams about drawing another slogan on his hand which will end world hunger. It’s little wonder then, that Gwyneth Paltrow has conducted an interview saying that she “respects and admires” people who have conducted extra-marital affairs. [...]

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Vladimir Putin Is Much, Much Better Than You [Videos]

by Mof Gimmers

You. You’re a massive wimp. Why? Because we’re all wimps when compared to the most immense man the world has ever seen! We are, of course, talking about walking deity, Vladimir Putin! There’s nothing that ol’ Pute can’t do. Seriously. If there was a sex-tape leaked starring him, it would be so impressive that our [...]

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Cher Lloyd Admires Tulisa’s Balls

by Kris Silver

Cher Lloyd, you remember her don’t you? She’s that one what didn’t win the X Factor and is still famous for some reason despite not having actually done anything to earn it. Well, she’s back in the news this week after accusing new X Factor judge Tulisa off of the N-Dubz of secretly being a [...]

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Gwyneth Paltrow Knows More About Music Than Coldplay

by Mof Gimmers

Chris Martin’s Coldplay are unquestionably successful. The amount of records they sell and the number of people who attend their shows around the world are often held up as proof of their quality. By that token, you could argue that dog muck is brilliant because millions of flies just can’t get enough of it. Or [...]

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Cee Lo Green Isn’t A Homophobe- Except When He’s Being Homophobic

by Michael Park

Here at hecklerspray, we know a good pie when we see one and our love of their consumption is legendary the world over. However, our combined level of the consumption of the humble steak and kidney can be rapidly outstripped by human food vacuum Cee Lo Green. You might remember Cee Lo from that piss awful [...]

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Grandmother Was A ‘C**t’. Says Gwyneth Paltrow.

by Amy Grindhouse

Gwyneth Paltrow is the love of our lives. She’s adored more than every single one of the people we drunkenly fumbled around with behind the bike sheds in heckler high school. More than the assorted people we’ve since collectively married in Las Vegas – none of whom we’ve bothered to divorce because we each yelled [...]

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Susan Boyle Replica Waxwork Gargoyle Constructed In Her Honour

by Matthew Laidlow

Susan Boyle may well be known partially for her angelic singing ability, but really, we’re more interested in her crazy antics. She’s like Michael Jackson, only without the crazed fans, dance moves and court appearances. And now, it is that time of year when your obese uncle visits because he’s eaten his own cupboards bare, [...]

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Gwyneth Paltrow Signs $900K Music Contract Making A Total Of Zero Musicans In Her House

by Mof Gimmers

Gwyneth Paltrow is about to become the latest actor who thinks that it is completely fine to totter toward the world of pop music and have a stab at turning it into a career, despite the fact that this road is littered with corpses of thesps who have failed miserably before her. And yes, we [...]

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