Articles tagged with: singing
Kerry Katona Wants To Howl Again
She's been filmed giving birth and having her boobs hacked open, but now Kerry Katona is planning something even more horrifying. We've saved this post until late in the day because we're genuinely worried that, if you read it in the morning, it'd be too much to bear and you'd end up fatally attacking yourself in the face with the nearest piece of office equipment. So, now that we can only ruin a small part of the rest of your day, here goes. Kerry Katona wants to relaunch her singing career. We know, it makes us want to cry too.
She's been filmed giving birth and having her boobs hacked open, but now Kerry Katona is planning something even more horrifying. We've saved this post until late in the day because we're genuinely worried that, if you read it in the morning, it'd be too much to bear and you'd end up fatally attacking yourself in the face with the nearest piece of office equipment. So, now that we can only ruin a small part of the rest of your day, here goes. Kerry Katona wants to relaunch her singing career. We know, it makes us want to cry too.
Victoria Beckham To Never Ever Sing Ever Again
Fans of Victoria Beckham's 2002 number 6 smash hit A Mind Of Its Own, if you exist, prepare yourselves for the worst. You're never going to see Victoria Beckham perform that live again. Or any of her other two solo singles. Or any songs by any other human in the history of music. Victoria Beckham, you see, has formally retired from music. It's not really a surprise - money-grabbing Spice Girls reunion tours aside, Victoria Beckham has only used her voice to babble on relentlessly about herself in an infuriating hairdresser monotone for the past five years ago. But at least Victoria Beckham has made it official, leaving her free to concentrate on her arduous day job. We'll get back to you when we know what that actually is.
Fans of Victoria Beckham's 2002 number 6 smash hit A Mind Of Its Own, if you exist, prepare yourselves for the worst. You're never going to see Victoria Beckham perform that live again. Or any of her other two solo singles. Or any songs by any other human in the history of music. Victoria Beckham, you see, has formally retired from music. It's not really a surprise - money-grabbing Spice Girls reunion tours aside, Victoria Beckham has only used her voice to babble on relentlessly about herself in an infuriating hairdresser monotone for the past five years ago. But at least Victoria Beckham has made it official, leaving her free to concentrate on her arduous day job. We'll get back to you when we know what that actually is.
Geri Halliwell Generously Sings Girl Out Of Coma
We did it so that we could administer first aid in a moments notice should we ever be lucky enough to stumble upon somebody who was almost dead. We never did - but we did learn how to cook duck with those things. One of the ducks actually came back to life. It was headless and plucked, but it waddled just the same. That's what our record was for. Nobody had ever previously resuscitated a headless duck. We think it's on page three of that Guinness book.
Geri Halliwell, apparently, is going through that same phase, just a couple of years after us. But instead of zapping people/ducks with thousands of electrical volts, she sings to them back to health. One girl recently emerged from a coma because of it, while no ducks responded at all.
Hecklerspray broke a world record once. It was three years ago when we were going through a phase of carrying a fully functional Defibrillator everywhere we went. When our arms got tired, we'd just drag it.
We did it so that we could administer first aid in a moments notice should we ever be lucky enough to stumble upon somebody who was almost dead. We never did - but we did learn how to cook duck with those things. One of the ducks actually came back to life. It was headless and plucked, but it waddled just the same. That's what our record was for. Nobody had ever previously resuscitated a headless duck. We think it's on page three of that Guinness book.
Geri Halliwell, apparently, is going through that same phase, just a couple of years after us. But instead of zapping people/ducks with thousands of electrical volts, she sings to them back to health. One girl recently emerged from a coma because of it, while no ducks responded at all.
