Articles tagged with: singer
Since their reunion last year, the planet has been clamouring for Led Zeppelin to keep it going and take a tour around the world. And Led Zeppelin listen to their fans, which is why - at long last - the Led Zeppelin world tour has finally been announced. Imagine that - Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones and John Bonham, all together again at last to smash through their hits for millions of fans around the planet. Except for John Bonham and Robert Plant, anyway - one's dead and one can't really be bothered. But nevertheless, the two other members of Led Zeppelin are going on tour anyway, and they're hiring a stand-in singer to take Robert Plant's place. By our calculations, this means that in terms of quality the Plantless Led Zeppelin tour will fall somewhere between their Live Aid set with Phil Collins and that weird Olympic thing that Jimmy Page did with Leona Lewis. Talk about a win-win!
Natalie Cole is lucky because she never has to catch a cold again. It’s because her immune system is now naturally fortified with boat loads of Hepatitis C. This is excellent for her on several different levels. She’ll no longer have to spend hundreds of dollars on oranges every winter – that’s nice for her. She can put that saved money right into studio-time. Also, no more nights stuck awake because her chest is sticky with Vapo-rub, and she can take all those old, crusty lozenges out of her sock drawer. Like we said, Cole is lucky on many levels – not the least of which… What’s that? Hepetitis C is some sort of ailment? It has lousy side effects and doesn’t calm any winter-time stuffed-up misery? We’ve got it all wrong? Well don’t we just feel ridiculous.
OK everyone, you can put the nature vs nurture debate to bed now - the newly-discovered illegitimate half-sister of Lindsay Lohan proves that it's definitely nature.
Why? Because even though 13-year-old Ashley Kaufmann - the girl apparently sired by Michael Lohan during a month-long affair - was raised in a completely separate environment to Lindsay Lohan and Ali Lohan, she's still labouring under the mistaken belief that she's going to be a huge pop star.
According to reports, Ashley Kaufmann is busy trying to crack the music industry and has already made a number of approaches to record companies. Poor Ashley Kaufmann - we wonder if she's realised that she's genetically predestined to end up face down in a pile of drugs midway through an emotionally hollow Dionysian pansexual orgy yet.
