Four left. That’s all. There are only four American Idol contestants left this year. It’ll all be over soon.

Thank heaven for that. In fact, no, we should thank Aaron Kelly for that. Because if Aaron Kelly – a man so intergalactically anonymous that we didn’t even realise that he was part of American Idol until it was too late – hadn’t squeaked out Fly Me To The Moon in the style of Uni from Dungeons And Dragons after being struck down with emphysema, then he might not have been kicked out of American Idol last night, leaving five American Idol contestants this year.

So thanks Aaron Kelly. You might not realise it – because you look like you have all the sentient ability of a damp sandal – but American Idol will end soon because of you. We’d track you down and thank you personally, but we can’t really remember what you look like.