You’ve seen Sherlock on BBC television right? Yeah, that homoerotic nonsense that all furrowed brows and winks to camera. It’s awful isn’t it? If you’re the kind of swine-nosed, spotty sloven who is now tutting in disgust at such a sentiment, we have news.
Mr Benedict Cumberbatch, a man with a face like an iron hand, is going to be in the new Star Trek movie.
The British actor has been cast in J.J. Abrams’ sequel to his 2009 ‘Star Trek’ reboot, according to Deadline.com. And when have they ever lied? And he could well be getting a juicy role.
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On the set of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Tom Cruise thought he’d go and do a nice thing for Simon Pegg – talk to him like he knew who he was. And what did they talk about? What any celebrity would talk about of course!
Soiled undercrackers!
That’s right. Tom Cruise and Simon Pegg talked about nappies, teaming with faecal matter while playing make-believe like big, hairy and very stupid children. Meanwhile, everyone else presumably looked on wondering if Cruise was trying to recruit someone for Scientology because he’s bang into that alien guff isn’t he?
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Simon Pegg – impressively dislikeable since his days in Spaced – is, of course, becoming something of a ‘name’ in Hollywood. Well done him. Basically, he’s Rent-A-Nerd and he’s doing very nicely out of it thankyouverymuch.
If you didn’t know, Pegg starred as Scotty in the remake of Star Trek (the one with him from Heroes in it) and he’s opening and closing his mouth about ‘Star Trek 2′ which is due out in the next couple of years.
Typically, he’s complaining about it, furrowing his pale brow over the rumour that superhuman Khan will be the villain in the forthcoming sequel. Why?
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Everyone knows who Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are right? You know, there the guys who beat the crap out of zombies with pool cues to Queen’s ‘Don’t stop me now’ and then had a shootout in a supermarket with Timothy Dalton. You know, Timothy Dalton! Him out of that James Bo- nevermind.
Ahh, so now you remember. That’s okay though we’ll forgive you, after all it’s a pretty reasonable response given the pairs somewhat floundering careers since 2007′s pant-stainingly funny ‘Hot Fuzz’.
The only difference here however is that Edgar Wright, their long time chum and directorial muse is no where insight; replaced instead by that bloke who gave us Superbad and Adventureland (the one where Kristen Stewart isn’t dying for a good vampire romp).
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Over the years the cinema has given us plenty of bumbling idiots on the big screen but arguably none are ever as likeable as the ones played by Simon Pegg.
Returning this week in How to Lose Friends And Alienate People, Pegg, riding high on his popularity, plays the pretentious tit Sidney Young who manages to get a job at a prestigious New York magazine. It’s like The Devil Wears Prada but with transvestites!
With a recent surge of great comedies, this effort is disappointingly neither consistently hilarious or has anything new to say. Pegg is a likeable lead but presents the character as a more of a loveable idiot who never really irritates, even those within the film. His characters charm instantly sets you into a light hearted predictable romp while although entertaining in its own way, is also somewhat a letdown.
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Mike Myers has gone from a childhood hero of hecklerspray to being one of the worst ‘comedians’ on this planet we call Earth.
So what does any actor do when they realise their popularity is at an all-time low – even lower than it was when nobody even knew who Mike Myers was? That’s right – they sign up for a role in a Quentin Tarantino movie. Works every time.
So it comes as no surprise that Wayne Campbell has joined the increasing ranks for Tarantino’s newest hype-machine, Inglorious Bastards. It’s a war film and it’s by Quentin Tarantino, so expect it to be quite insane and bring about countless complaints from idiots, while other idiots just talk as if it’s the greatest film that’s ever happened.
When it’s clear to anyone with sense that it isn’t offensive, it is good, but it isn’t the second coming.
It’s the Tarantino formula.
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