9 - Today in Needless Cover Versions Of Our Time, Chicane does Sigur Ros – Mychemicaltoilet

8 - If you ever wanted another reason to think that Perez Hilton is a knob, this magazine cover should do it – Amygrindhouse

7 - Karl Lagerfeld Is A Dickhead. Sums it up, nicely, really – Scumbagmillionaire

6 - The greatest Celebrity Masterchef lineup you will ever see – Watchwithmothers

5 - Here’s a nightmarish Beatles cartoon, which you must watch only because it makes George Harrison sound like a Nazi mutant accountant - Interestment

4 - This just in: Horoscopes are rubbish – Shoutingatcows

3 – Someone sent us this music video. It’s very pretty – YouTube

2 - Ladies and gentlemen, the perfect celebrity - PopEater

1 - We’re not sure what’s worse – the fact that all these flight attendants are naked, or the fact that they’re describing your painful, almost certainly fatal fiery death in such an annoying chirpy way…

For once we decided not to leave ourselves open for getting something wrong and remembered that you can’t physically get hold of this new tune from the UK’s worst drug-taking band, Keane.

Unless you’re one of those posh industry types, this song is unavailable to buy on CD, vinyl or even from one of those fancy digital downloading services. Though we assume it’s on file sharing sites alongside the mis-titled new Elvis and Frank Sinatra album.

Usually we don’t bother telling you how awesome or shoddy a single is, but seeing as it’s free release that didn’t get that much publicity compared to other free downloads, offered by the likes of Radiohead and Sigur Ros, we thought we’d make you aware. Spiralling is taken from Keane’s yet to be released (but probably available illegally on the internet) third album Perfect Symmetry.

Gone are the earlier vocals of fatter-looking lead man Tom Chaplin, who previously sounded like a choir boy whose angelic vocals had crashed head on with him breaking into puberty. 2008 sees a different and experimental sounding vocal style – maybe it was the cocaine, we don’t know, but he seems to be taking on a bit more of an aggressive edge to his singing style. Gone is the quite timid whimper that was sometimes a bit awkward to listen to, but still delighted thousands of Radio 2 listeners.

When trying to work out the reason for this change, it may not be down to him snorting cocaine off the arsecrack of a model. Tom may have been given peppermint tea before the vocal take instead of mint tea. It would piss us off, that’s for sure.

Following strange lyrics from Feeder and their single We Are The People, Keane have managed to arrange the lyrics into questions for fans to answer. Hooray for interactive fun! Instead of the song breaking down and building back up again as per usual we are instead hit with a barrage of questions. Don’t worry, they won’t fry your brain – Chaplin asks if we want to:

“Be a winner, Be an icon, Be Famous, Be the President, Start a war, Have a family, Be in love.”

Because we’re nice, we’ll give you the answers:

“We already are – ask Alan Mcgee, only if it involves free things off PR people, only if we didn’t have to campaign for a year, no – because we struggle to even start a computer up sometimes, we are one happy family and yes – but not with the people from Keane.”

The lyrics are a bit too kooky for a band as commercial as Keane, and they would work better coming from some pissed off communist rapper who is integrating you through his lyrics and why you are a sucker to globalisation.

Not from a posh podgy boy and his mates whose idea of fun on a Friday night is ringing doorbells and running away whilst laughing like people who’ve just seen a pair of tits for the first time.

So what about the music? Well the two bods who no-one seem to know about are still performing. Richard Hughes still bangs the drums and Tim Rice-Oxley is still on the keyboard.

After two albums of just using the boring piano and not even altering the pitch Rice-Oxley has discovered the effects button and decided to jazz things up a bit. Sadly this new direction of incorporating diluted electronic sounds and vocal tweaks doesn’t work.

At best the song sounds like a shoddy remix using the successful song formula that Keane constantly used with songs such Somewhere Only We Know and Everybody’s Changing. With so much free music software for bedroom producers to use, it really just sounds like someone has attempted to remix the older tracks and failed badly.

Oh, and let’s not forget that the daring leap of going hip and copying the dying trend of indie bands with synthesizers simply falls flat on its arse. As this is a free release, we can only hope that the real version suddenly appears and those crazy Keane boys have pulled an early April fool on us, or it’s never going to be anything more that poor.

Still, it’s only a free download. If you don’t like it, e-mail the song around as one of those crap joke chain messages. Title it as “best thing you’ll ever hear” before deleting the song off of your computer and freeing up the space it took up for porn or a better sounding track.

There are a lot available. Trust us.

Sigur Ros creates some of the most amazing music known to man/woman/child/budgie. The epic vocals of singer Jonsi are totally unique and nothing like we’ve heard before. Combined with gorgeous fragile music that has the power to stop you in your tracks, the band is nothing short of amazing. Icelandic may not be the first language of everyone, but this does not matter at all – the songs sound better then they ever would do then if Chas & Dave were to give them the old cockney treatment.

Gobbledigook is taken from the bands fifth album Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust (With a buzz in our ears we play endlessly). The new record is set for release at the end of June and we can’t wait. If it’s anything like this song, it won’t disappoint. Oh, that buzz in your ears may be tinnitus. Best get it checked out.

Download Gobbledigook by Sigur Ros here