Here at hecklerspray we're old hands at signing autographs, although most autograph hunters seem to want us to write 'Martina Navratilova' or 'Sloth Out Of The Goonies' instead of our own names, which is weird.

But as experienced as we are, we'll never be as flat-out incredible at autograph-signing as Johnny Depp. For the third year straight, Johnny Depp has been named as the best Hollywood signer by Autograph magazine for the way he unfailingly manages to put a pen onto some paper and spell his own name correctly without mistaking the pen for some corn on the cob and eating it or inadvertently writing 'Fabian Gottlieb von Bellingshausen' or 'Lunar Orbiter 3' instead of 'Johnny Depp'. Truly the man deserves a medal.

Although it's easy to mock celebrities who don't sign autographs – because writing your own name a few times a day must really make these people want to give up earning tens of millions of dollars every year – it must get a bit tiring to see squat little men waddling up to you with foot-thick piles of photos and being expected to sign every one, especially when every one of them swears blind that their name is Winner Of eBay Item 120129428830.

And although having a celebrity refuse to sign their autograph can be slightly annoying to the regular man on the street, it's literally the worst thing that can happen to the staff and readers of Autograph magazine. Yes, there is an Autograph magazine, and the articles are very good – especially last month's feature entitled Christian Bale Has Started Drawing A Little Heart Over The I In His Name Instead of Dotting It, The Twonk.

Anyway, to name and shame the best and worst celebrity autograph signers in Hollywood, Autograph magazine routinely holds an annual Best Hollywood Signer poll. And Johnny Depp usually wins these polls with equal routine for the way he puts his fans at ease throughout the duration of the tricky autograph-signing process. That's no different this year, because Autograph magazine has called Johnny Depp the best signer of the year. According to Autograph magazine's editor and publisher Steve Cyrkin:

"It's the third consecutive year Depp has topped the list of the 10 best signers. Whether at a premiere, in a restaurant or on location, Depp may just be the best Hollywood autograph signer of all time."

However, while the usual likes of George Clooney, Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson can also be found in the top signers list, there's more fun to be had looking at the worst signers. And the worst two autograph signers in the world today are Tobey Maguire and Will Ferrell.

Now Maguire we can understand – he's always had a slightly twatty demeanour, and we're sure he's getting sick of people asking for his autograph as a front to slap him in the face while screaming "What the hell did you do to Spider-Man 3 you arsehole?" – but Will Ferrell?

We always thought that Will Ferrell was a friendly, approachable man. Seems not, though, because Cyrkin explains:

"What's so frustrating about Will Ferrell being the worst autograph signer this past year is that he used to be so nice to fans and collectors, and a great signer. What makes him so bad is that he'll taunt people asking for his autograph."

Sounds upsetting, but let's not be hasty – for all we know Will Ferrell might just be researching for a film role about an arrogant autograph-signer who one day breaks his signing finger and then goes on a hilarious, yet redeeming, journey of recovery. You know, like he did in Anchorman. And Blades Of Glory. And Talladega Nights. And Bewitched. And Semi-Pro. So, you know, it's not unfeasible.

Read more:

Depp named top autograph signer as Ferrell bombs – Reuters