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Sienna Miller

The Leveson Inquiry has been wonderful television. It really has. Moments ago, we had Max Moseley talking about doing ‘sieg heils’ at some excellently odd party or somesuch and we also had Steve Coogan talking about his misdeeds.

Another of the stars involved is Sienna Miller who has claimed that her emails were hacked into by… well… someone… on behalf of journalists.

Sienna Miller’s involvement, of course, being particularly odd what with her not being particularly famous for much, other than her sex life. Either way, she gave evidence and made some pretty damning claims.

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If Jude Law really loved us, like he said he did in that dream we had, then he’d know how crushed we are that he’s been spotted running around with Lily Cole.

The nerve.

It’s only been a matter of  days since he split with Sienna Miller for the 322nd time and does he seem remotely bothered? Heartbroken perhaps? DOES HE CARE ABOUT ANYONE? WELL DOES HE?!

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Eerily symmetrical professional penis, Jude Law (essentially a Tesco Finest Callum Best), is back on the market, destined to make absolutely everyone and everything he touches pregnant. This man is more potent than a rabbit’s ballbag.

Jude and Sienna Miller have decided to do us all a massive favour by officially ending their on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, relationship.

Of course, Jude hasn’t had the simplest of times when it comes to affair of the loins, getting up to all kindsa mucky business when throwing the keys in a bowl with Sadie Frost, sticking his engorged member into nannies and models and of course, Sienna Miller isn’t exactly an angel herself, being dubbed a marriage wrecker. We are, naturally, seething with jealousy.

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Sienna Miller, Sienna Miller New York Times, Sienna Miller promiscuousTo clarify our oddly-worded defence of Sienna Miller – she has been downgraded in the US media to ‘Less Promiscuous Than The New York Times Thought’.

We don’t hate Sienna Miller, much. Not really. She seems like a nice enough girl, whom you and a few of your mates could have fun with at the pub or wherever else the night takes you.

In all seriousness, sort of, Sienna has been labelled as all kinds of nasty things by papers in the US and the UK. There’s some clearing up to be done. The New York Times points the finger of blame at the UK rags, for Sienna being nicknamed ‘Serial Miller’.

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10 – Have a virtual haircut. Just like a normal haircut, except without the grim awkwardness that we expect is similar to one you’d experience with a prostitute – Bluerabbit

9 - Exploding squirrels: Cruel or brilliant? We’re only asking because we genuinely don’t know – Komonews

8 – You want to see a picture of a man with a tree growing in his lung, don’t you? – Geekologie

7 - Apparently Sabrina The Teenage Witch was identical to Lindsay Lohan once, which is more or less impossible to believe - PopEater

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10 – The best picture of Peaches Geldof you will ever see – Holy Moly

9 - Here’s a collection of murderous Japanese robots - Cracked

8 – This just in: farting during a football match gets you yellow-carded – Manchestereveningnews

7 – You want to hear more stories about men getting their penises bitten off, don’t you? Of course you do – Metro

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Sienna Miller has had the word ‘slut’ spray painted on her house.

The British actress’ public image took another body blow following her much-criticised affair with married boyfriend Balthazar Getty after vandals wrote the insult on the outer wall of her North London home.

So who would do such a terrible thing? Well, of course, there is the legal wife or several children of the guy she is currently bonking senseless.

Then there is her jilted ex-lover Rhys Ifans. But Hecklerspray would like to make it very clear that we don’t think it is any of these people. Pointing the finger would be just wrong.

Plus the fact that Sienna Miller is so unpopular at the moment the list of possible culprits is too long to narrow down.

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Sienna Miller has committed a grievous crime. She was recently photographed off the coast of Italy all lovey-dovey with actor Balthazar Getty, who is married with four children.

Sienna’s crime: bad posture. A topless Sienna Miller, hunched over like a squatting monkey, making wild gestures– just let that image sink in for a second – revokes her standard ‘Hottie Waiver’ when it comes to any moral violations such as adultery. It also subjects her to the standard Dratch Infraction. This, of course, rates the seriousness of how unattractive a woman is compared to Rachel Dratch doing, well, anything.

We’ve been informed that all charges will be dropped if Sienna Miller goes away. Forever. Please electronically sign this post in the comments section to support this cause. You can make a difference!

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Sienna Miller has committed a grievous crime. She was recently photographed off the coast of Italy all lovey-dovey with actor Balthazar Getty, who is married with four children. Sienna’s crime: bad posture. A topless Sienna Miller, hunched over like a squatting monkey, making wild gestures– just let that image sink in for a second – revokes her standard 'Hottie Waiver' when it comes to any moral violations such as adultery, and subjects her to the standard Dratch Infraction. This, of course, rates the seriousness of how unattractive a woman is compared to Rachel Dratch doing, well, anything. We’ve been informed that all charges will be dropped if Sienna Miller goes away. Forever. Please electronically sign this post in the comments section to support this cause. You can make a difference!

Sienna Miller Gets Covered In Blood For GI Joe

by Stuart Heritage

A lot of fuss has been made about the upcoming GI Joe movie – the most high-profile film about a man with no testicles and swivelly eyes since whatever Orlando Bloom was in last.

However, is GI Joe actually going to be any good? Hardly, because a) it’s got Dennis Quaid in it, b) it’s got The Rock in it, c) it’s got Brendan Fraser in it, d) it’s got Sienna Miller in it, e) it’s got Sienna Miller in it, f) it’s got Sienna Miller in it, and g) it’s got Sienna Miller in it.

However, if anything’s going to give Sienna Miller the fame she’s missed since her boyfriend was caught nuts-deep in childcare worker, it’ll be GI Joe. Not because GI Joe is going to be a good movie, but because Sienna Miller gets to dress up like a sub-Beckinsdale bondage fetishist and stagger about covered in blood in it. The girl knows how to spend the rest of her swamped by stinky boys in comic book conventions, that’s for sure.

If you do want to see on-set pictures of Sienna Miller dressed as The Baroness for the new GI Joe movie, the Daily Mail has a bunch of them. Remember, though, don’t get too excited – it’s still Sienna Miller we’re talking about here.

A lot of fuss has been made about the upcoming GI Joe movie - the most high-profile film about a man with no testicles and swivelly eyes since whatever Orlando Bloom was in last. However, is GI Joe actually going to be any good? Hardly, because a) it's got Dennis Quaid in it, b) it's got The Rock in it, c) it's got Brendan Fraser in it, d) it's got Sienna Miller in it, e) it's got Sienna Miller in it, f) it's got Sienna Miller in it, and g) it's got Sienna Miller in it. However, if anything's going to give Sienna Miller the fame she's missed since her boyfriend was caught nuts-deep in childcare worker, it'll be GI Joe. Not because GI Joe is going to be a good movie, but because Sienna Miller gets to dress up like a sub-Beckinsdale bondage fetishist and stagger about covered in blood in it. The girl knows how to spend the rest of her swamped by stinky boys in comic book conventions, that's for sure. If you do want to see on-set pictures of Sienna Miller dressed as The Baroness for the new GI Joe movie, the Daily Mail has a bunch of them. Remember, though, don't get too excited - it's still Sienna Miller we're talking about here.
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Sienna Miller: Blah Blah Paparazzi Boo Hoo

by Stuart Heritage

The best thing about Sienna Miller is that she really doesn’t have a bloody clue.

If you’ve seen Sienna Miller in action for even a couple of seconds, you’ll realise that she’s such an unashamed publicity-whore that she’d hump a goat on a waterslide if it resulted in any amount of newspaper coverage. But despite being this colossal attention-hoover, Sienna Miller actually hates it when people take her photo, and is happy to go to court to tell everyone about.

Sienna Miller was in court yesterday blathering on about how the paparazzi ‘hunts’ her, to help an upper-class tosswipe friend who was facing a paparazzi-related criminal damage charge. And to back up her attack, Sienna Miller has vowed never to be in another newspaper agai… oh, sorry – we got real life confused with wishful thinking for a second there.

The best thing about Sienna Miller is that she really doesn't have a bloody clue. If you've seen Sienna Miller in action for even a couple of seconds, you'll realise that she's such an unashamed publicity-whore that she'd hump a goat on a waterslide if it resulted in any amount of newspaper coverage. But despite being this colossal attention-hoover, Sienna Miller actually hates it when people take her photo, and is happy to go to court to tell everyone about. Sienna Miller was in court yesterday blathering on about how the paparazzi 'hunts' her, to help an upper-class tosswipe friend who was facing a paparazzi-related criminal damage charge. And to back up her attack, Sienna Miller has vowed never to be in another newspaper agai... oh, sorry - we got real life confused with wishful thinking for a second there.
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