Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
While I’m still reeling from the shitshow that is Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna, I do feel some relief to find myself blogging about two people who don’t actually make me want to throw up in my mouth. In this case, I’m referring to Brad Pitt and Sienna Miller.
Brad and Sienna are both newly single and both insanely sexy, and now they might be making out with each other on the down low, which I whole-heartedly support.
Sienna Miller is not shy about getting naked. It comes really easy to her and she’s had gratuitous nude scenes in a ton of movies. Which is why you’re on this page, we presume.
There is really nothing much better in the world than seeing a beautiful blonde naked and maybe even having some hot steamy sex while throwing her hair around and arching her back. Which is exactly what happens in some of Miller’s films, namely High Rise (2015).
Remember back when Kim Kardashian “broke the internet” with her lubed up ass magazine cover? And remember how that uppity bitch Naya Rivera was all like “OMG, you’re a mother now” as if having a kid means you can’t be sexy and naked whenever you want (Naya is pregnant now, so I look forward to calling hypocrite when she poses for MAXIM after having her baby).
Women have babies all the damn time and amazingly stay insanely hot and beautiful. In fact, some of them get straight up hotter AFTER they have kids. Here are twenty celeb moms who should change their names to Febreeze because they are fresh to death.
A few years ago, it came out that one of the biggest newspapers in Great Britain, The News of the World, were hacking the phones and emails of different celebrities and politicians.? This is a big no no because of some crap called “privacy” or something.? One celebrity that totally had all his shit exposed was Jude Law and he is currently involved in the trail case against the publication.
Because of all the dirt digging into Law’s life, it has now?come out that his trampy ex fianc?e, Sienna Miller, not only was the other woman in a bunch of relationships, but also stepped out on Law.?? Which another famous actor who had a serious girlfriend at the time, too.? Miller really rocks the? homewrecking queen status.
The Leveson Inquiry has been wonderful television. It really has. Moments ago, we had Max Moseley talking about doing ‘sieg heils’ at some excellently odd party or somesuch and we also had Steve Coogan talking about his misdeeds.
Another of the stars involved is Sienna Miller who has claimed that her emails were hacked into by… well… someone… on behalf of journalists.
Sienna Miller’s involvement, of course, being particularly odd what with her not being particularly famous for much, other than her sex life. Either way, she gave evidence and made some pretty damning claims.
If Jude Law really loved us, like he said he did in that dream we had, then he’d know how crushed we are that he’s been spotted running around with Lily Cole.
The nerve.
It’s only been a matter of? days?since he split with Sienna Miller for the 322nd time and does he seem remotely bothered? Heartbroken perhaps? DOES HE CARE ABOUT ANYONE? WELL DOES HE?!
Eerily symmetrical professional penis, Jude Law (essentially a Tesco Finest Callum Best), is back on the market, destined to make absolutely everyone and everything he touches pregnant. This man is more potent than a rabbit’s ballbag.
Jude and Sienna Miller have decided to do us all a massive favour by officially ending their on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, relationship.
Of course, Jude hasn’t had the simplest of times when it comes to affair of the loins, getting up to all kindsa mucky business when throwing the keys in a bowl with Sadie Frost, sticking his engorged member into nannies and models and of course, Sienna Miller isn’t exactly an angel herself, being dubbed a marriage wrecker. We are, naturally, seething with jealousy.
To clarify our oddly-worded defence of Sienna Miller – she has been downgraded in the US media to ‘Less Promiscuous Than The New York Times Thought’.
We don’t hate Sienna Miller, much. Not really. She seems like a nice enough girl, whom you and a few of your mates could have fun with at the pub or wherever else the night takes you.
In all seriousness, sort of, Sienna has been labelled as all kinds of nasty things by papers in the US and the UK. There’s some clearing up to be done. The New York Times points the finger of blame at the UK rags, for Sienna being nicknamed ‘Serial Miller’.
10 – Have a virtual haircut. Just like a normal haircut, except without the grim awkwardness that we expect is similar to one you’d experience with a prostitute – Bluerabbit
9 – Exploding squirrels: Cruel or brilliant? We’re only asking because we genuinely don’t know – Komonews
8 – You want to see a picture of a man with a tree growing in his lung, don’t you? – Geekologie
7 – Apparently Sabrina The Teenage Witch was identical to Lindsay Lohan once, which is more or less impossible to believe – PopEater
