Articles tagged with: Shows
As Michael Jackson was born of his mother's womb while filming a Pepsi commercial with his hair on fire, his main thought was probably about how he'd one day like to inflict that same pain onto his own child. And now he finally will. As everybody who enjoys watching glittery skeletons dance all about already knows, MJ is having a series of big comeback gigs this summer - and he's reportedly decided to use the opportunity to launch the career of his 12-year-old son Prince Michael I.
Hello there. Usher notices that you're a lady. He's seen those ladysacks through that blouse and he approves of them wholeheartedly - do you mind if he sings? That probably isn't the intro tape to Usher's new ladies-only tour, but it should be. You see, Usher's so fed up of having his sexual R&B flow disrupted at concerts by the occasional sight of a stubbly chin or an Adam's apple that he's banned all men from his upcoming club tour. From now on, only Usher's rock hard testosterone can penetrate the moist, supple sea of oestrogen that is his audience. And you know what, we actually think it's a brilliant idea. That's why we've decided to make this article a ladies-only article. Only women are allowed to read on, because only women will be able to form a true connection with our uniquely sensual musings. Seriously though, no blokes. We'll freak out if blokes read this. Urgh.
Las Vegas: shimmering sin-capital of overblown gambling, legalised prostitution and neon lights burrowing their ever-so-bright way into your retinas. All well and good, but there's something missing. Know what that is? A mildly psychotic pop star who enjoys shaving her head and displaying her vagina, that's what. Thank the sweet weeping lord, then, for Britney Spears. She's apparently decided to use Vegas - or, more specifically, the Palms Hotel and Casino - as the jumping point for a 'spectacular comeback.' Given that her last 'comeback' involved bobbing around onstage like a confused autistic sealion in front of millions of TV viewers, it's safe to say that this is gonna be an interesting situation to say the least.
It's not a good time to be a fan of giant-haired widdly-woo nostalgic Spandex rock right now.
Not only do you have to live with the fact that you've wasted a great big portion of your life endorsing the very worst type of music ever invented, but now Van Halen have postponed a load more reunion dates as well.
This is the second batch of shows that Van Halen have ditched this month so far, and it's all because Eddie Van Halen is currently being tested for a mystery medical condition. Sounds serious. We just hope that whatever the condition is, it's important enough to deny thousands of fans the chance to pay an inflated amount of money to see a gang of old men play music that all sounds like the theme-tune to Biker Mice From Mars.
What's the one thing better than constantly reading about the ridiculous, abnormally braindead custody squabble between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards?
Why, watching it on TV! And that's exactly why Denise Richards has reached the genius decision to take part in a reality TV show all about her cack-brained efforts to make Charlie Sheen look as monumentally dimwitted as possible in public.
Best of all, there's nothing that Charlie Sheen can do about it.
