Tish tosh, people, nothing of the sort. In fact, not even Miley Cyrus’ constant media saturation is enough for her – which is why she appears to be chronicling her entire life with photographs in an incredibly regimented way. Even the part of her life that involves posing in the shower in just a wet white T-shirt.

That’s right – photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus standing under a shower in just a wet T-shirt have been doing the internet rounds. It’s about the 15th set of embarrassingly provocative photos that Miley Cyrus has had to deal with, but it’s by no means the worst – rumour has it there’s a candid snap somewhere of Miley enjoying and dancing to her father’s song Achy Breaky Heart. That’d just finish her career instantly.

The best thing about Miley Cyrus isn’t her ability to galvanise entire generations into thoughtlessly buying everything she’s involved in, it’s that she never learns.

Seriously, Miley Cyrus is like a goldfish or a sitcom character when it comes to taking stuff onboard. Admittedly it’d be quite a creepy sitcom about a very young teenage girl with an obsession about taking her clothes off in any situation she can think off, but it still counts.

For example, it wasn’t so long ago that photos of Miley Cyrus rolling on a boy’s lap in her pants found their way onto the internet. They were shocking, and Miley Cyrus was sorry – so sorry that she posed sort-of topless for Vanity Fair weeks later. Those pictures were shocking, and Miley Cyrus was sorry – so sorry that she’s taken a bunch of photos of herself posing in the shower wearing just a see-through wet T-shirt. Fox reports:

A purported photo of Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus posing in the shower while wearing a white T-shirt is circulating the web. The photo was allegedly obtained by a hacker at DigitalGangster.com, who reportedly accessed the actress’s cell phone memory. When asked about the photos, Cyrus’ rep, Jill Fritzo, would only say “Old photos, old news.”

We think we can safely say on everyone’s behalf – phew. These aren’t new photos of Miley Cyrus at all. Breathe a sigh of relief folks – you’re not looking at photos of a 15-year-old girl in the shower. You’re looking at photos of a 14 or possibly 13-year-old girl in the shower. Panic over.

But as shocking and a little off-putting as these new Miley Cyrus shower photos are, the man who claims to have hacked them from Miley’s phone says there are far worse ones to come. Lord alone knows kind of depravity will be contained in those photos, but we’ve drawn up a shortlist of the most likely scenarios:

*A Vanessa Hudgens-style naked photo of Miley Cyrus.

*A photo of Miley Cyrus dressed up like a full-blown S&M dominatrix with her high-heeled boot crushing a man’s testicles.

*Images of Miley Cyrus both looking and acting her age for once.

We know the last one sounds far-fetched, but we’re through the looking glass here, people.

No, wait, our mistake – Britney Spears would want to cut a mumbled half-interview with Ryan Seacrest short to take a shower. Yesterday morning in what appears to be her only piece of actual promotion for the album that could make or break her future as an artist, Britney Spears had a telephone interview with Ryan Seacrest in which she exclusively revealed her love of cookies and how she thinks the world is slightly cruel. Then Britney abruptly cut it short to listlessly meander off to shower.

Still, at least we know that Britney Spears showers now. We had wondered.

Call us old-fashioned, but if we had spent the last three years of our lives thumping out accidental redneck babies from our vagina, divorcing the redneck who put them up there in the first place and having disquieting bald-headed suicide attempts in rehab where we honestly believed ourselves to be the devil, we'd want the promotion of our comeback album to be bulletproof.

You know the kind of thing – wall-to-wall interviews, maybe a TV special, a big tour – just to reassure the world that we were still the pleather-loving virginal schoolgirl of a pop star they came to love a decade ago. But that's just us. Britney Spears, you see, has other ideas.  

So far Britney Spears has announced her comeback by miming to songs in clubs, miming to songs in front of the whole world looking like a concussed prostitute, wiping dog turds on expensive dresses and losing her children to a cornrowed pirate thanks to a judge calling her a giant drug addict. All Britney needs to do now is send a hungry bear into a post-natal clinic and she'll have completed the full house of badly-advised album promotion techniques.

But yesterday Britney Spears decided to change this by doing some actual promotion for Blackout by letting Ryan Seacrest interview her on his radio show. And, yes, Britney was in bed at the time. And she didn't seem to have a clue about anything going on around her. And she cut the interview short without saying goodbye so she could go and have a shower. But it still counts as an interview, OK? Take 40 reports on what few full sentences Britney Spears did manage to murmur out before she realised how dirty she was:

Seacrest asked her all about her custody case, and if she is doing everything she can to regain some custody of her children, to which she replied, "Oh God yeah. People say what they want and do what they do and it's sad how people, how cruel our world can be… At the end of the day… you've just got to know in your heart that you're doing the best you can and that's basically it." Britney, clearly not across the details of her court case, said, "That's like, all in the court. Stuff like that, my lawyers know all that stuff." 

Then Britney was gone, leaving her cousin Alli Sim to blurt some halfhearted excuses about her whereabouts before hanging up.

But, as much as she basically managed to reinforce every single negative preconception about her during the interview without managing to look even slightly self-aware, it does go to show what a class act Britney Spears is. After all, it took Heather Mills a full day of berserk self-promotion to get the planet to realise what an idiot she is, but Britney Spears achieved the same reaction just by mumbling four sentences about nothing in bed and then taking a shower.

We should really be applauding this woman for her efficiency, if anything.

Read more:

Britney's Quick Pre-Shower Interview - Take 40